Don't Look Back Smuckatelly
Another Smuckatelly Adventure30 total reviews
Comment from David R. Davis
Very well written. Funny and wonderful imagery. I live in Arizona and we have javelinas everywhere in the desert. Many a man has been chased by a mad mama. It also struck me as funny because I took basic training near El Paso, TX. There were lots of East coast guardsmen and we were assigned to guard a tent in the desert where the other guards were sleeping. Each man had an empty M-16. When the coyotes started to howl, the guards ran like baby chicks. So thanks for bring back those memories. Take care and go well.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2019
  |
Very well written. Funny and wonderful imagery. I live in Arizona and we have javelinas everywhere in the desert. Many a man has been chased by a mad mama. It also struck me as funny because I took basic training near El Paso, TX. There were lots of East coast guardsmen and we were assigned to guard a tent in the desert where the other guards were sleeping. Each man had an empty M-16. When the coyotes started to howl, the guards ran like baby chicks. So thanks for bring back those memories. Take care and go well.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2019
-
Maybe you could share some of your adventures with us, I'd like to read them. Thank you for the excellent rating and I appreciate you taking taking the time to read my work.
Comment from Agnes Elizabeth
I loved this story. Smiled the whole way through!! Very creative and I could see the imagery you painted with your character names and personalities.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2019
 |
I loved this story. Smiled the whole way through!! Very creative and I could see the imagery you painted with your character names and personalities.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2019
-
Thank you very much. I appreciate the six stars and you taking the time to read and review my work. If you like Smucka telly, I have several more stories on my profile.
Comment from Rikki66
Smuckatelly was either fast or scared shitless; I have seen a wild bore run. It is a wonder he did not get promoted and Article 15ed at the same time.
Rikki
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2019
|
Smuckatelly was either fast or scared shitless; I have seen a wild bore run. It is a wonder he did not get promoted and Article 15ed at the same time.
Rikki
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2019
-
Thank you very much for the six stars. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
-
No problems we all had a Smuckatelly.
Rikki
Comment from rjuselius
hahah! a very clever little piece of prose dear anonymous! it is hard to tell if it is true or not , at leastfromva woman's point of view.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings and a super squeeze!
rebekka xxx
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2019
|
hahah! a very clever little piece of prose dear anonymous! it is hard to tell if it is true or not , at leastfromva woman's point of view.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings and a super squeeze!
rebekka xxx
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2019
-
Thank you very much rebekka. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from rockmann
And they all lived happily ever after....Your story was easy to follow, and I could visualize what was happening. I hope Smuckatelly enjoyed his four-day pass, he certainly earned it. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2019
|
And they all lived happily ever after....Your story was easy to follow, and I could visualize what was happening. I hope Smuckatelly enjoyed his four-day pass, he certainly earned it. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2019
-
Thank you very much, I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from Therese Caron
What a great story! He was very brave to run into the woods and once you're caring a baby and a wild animal is chasing you, I'm fairly sure I would drop the baby in front of the mama and keep going. He was bound and determined to get those four days off, and he managed to do it at great risk. The last line is hilarious. Wonderful writing!
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2019
|
What a great story! He was very brave to run into the woods and once you're caring a baby and a wild animal is chasing you, I'm fairly sure I would drop the baby in front of the mama and keep going. He was bound and determined to get those four days off, and he managed to do it at great risk. The last line is hilarious. Wonderful writing!
Comment Written 22-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2019
-
Thank you very much, I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is hilarious, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it and got a good laugh. You presented it well--the image is perfect and your words read smoothly with great imagery. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2019
|
This is hilarious, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it and got a good laugh. You presented it well--the image is perfect and your words read smoothly with great imagery. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 21-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2019
-
Thank you very much, Jan. I guess using Smuckatelly is the same as leaving my fingerprints at a crime scene. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello fellow writer, I hope this review finds you well. Thank you for sharing your short story with us. To tell a complete story under constraints is a challenge that I think you executed well. It was engaging and funny. Good job!
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2019
|
Hello fellow writer, I hope this review finds you well. Thank you for sharing your short story with us. To tell a complete story under constraints is a challenge that I think you executed well. It was engaging and funny. Good job!
Comment Written 21-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2019
-
Thank you very much, I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from AvL
How appropriate for this porcine potboiler to appear in 2019, Chinese Year of the Boar. Our hero Smuckatelly brings home the bacon for the U. S. Army. For services "rendered," he gets a medal and a four-day pass, on which occasion he presumably goes hog-wild. Oink!
AvL
P. S. The author should read the story of Plechazunga in Gravity's Rainbow, by Thomas Pynchon ... if he enjoys pig's tales.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
|
How appropriate for this porcine potboiler to appear in 2019, Chinese Year of the Boar. Our hero Smuckatelly brings home the bacon for the U. S. Army. For services "rendered," he gets a medal and a four-day pass, on which occasion he presumably goes hog-wild. Oink!
AvL
P. S. The author should read the story of Plechazunga in Gravity's Rainbow, by Thomas Pynchon ... if he enjoys pig's tales.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
-
Thank you AVL, I will check out that story. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
-
To BCE:
Yo.
AvL
Comment from Eve Vasa
I like the ending to this, you walking and looking after the pig.
This is a good example of a well written story where you can still have a problem, a call to solve that problem and the resolution of the problem. Stories have to have a story arc based on the three act play and you manage that in a very short word count.
Best of luck in the competition, this was a strong five star work for me, cheers, Eve.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
|
I like the ending to this, you walking and looking after the pig.
This is a good example of a well written story where you can still have a problem, a call to solve that problem and the resolution of the problem. Stories have to have a story arc based on the three act play and you manage that in a very short word count.
Best of luck in the competition, this was a strong five star work for me, cheers, Eve.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
-
Thank you Eve. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
