A Shadow On The Street
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "A Cold Morning."One man's blessing can be another's curse.
17 total reviews
Comment from KatyM
Good chapter. Glad that Caleb listened to him and went to stay with him. I didn't see anything to change. Glad you were able to get help with the plot holes. How does the preacher afford the building? Just curious. Katy
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
  |
Good chapter. Glad that Caleb listened to him and went to stay with him. I didn't see anything to change. Glad you were able to get help with the plot holes. How does the preacher afford the building? Just curious. Katy
Comment Written 28-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
-
Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review!
Happy Holidays and God bless.
mike
Comment from Janilou
I'm all out of six stars or this chapter would also be receiving one. Giraffmang is a great reviewer. He has helped me in the past with my story. Whatever you did with this chapter, it works. It's a perfect blend of human desperation and humiliation with God's love lighting the way to a better solution.
I'm completely hooked on your story.
Jan
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
|
I'm all out of six stars or this chapter would also be receiving one. Giraffmang is a great reviewer. He has helped me in the past with my story. Whatever you did with this chapter, it works. It's a perfect blend of human desperation and humiliation with God's love lighting the way to a better solution.
I'm completely hooked on your story.
Jan
Comment Written 28-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
-
Giraffmang helped me tremendously when I first started on this site. Many thanks for your kind words.
Happy Holidays and God bless.
mike
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Mike. A good story of charity and helping a down and out family and preventing a crime by the desperate dad. As we see mixed race couples more frequently in TV ads and in reality, this will not be a problem in the future. It is predicted that by 2050, whites will be the minority. Marilyn
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
|
Hi Mike. A good story of charity and helping a down and out family and preventing a crime by the desperate dad. As we see mixed race couples more frequently in TV ads and in reality, this will not be a problem in the future. It is predicted that by 2050, whites will be the minority. Marilyn
Comment Written 18-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
-
Thanks for stopping by to read. I believe it got me a blue ribbon. Many thanks for all of your support!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
What an upbeat story. This is a great way to use the power of telepathy, to help others, rather than to make a pile of money from knowing what others are thinking. Bravo, for turning a predictable plot upside down. :)
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
|
What an upbeat story. This is a great way to use the power of telepathy, to help others, rather than to make a pile of money from knowing what others are thinking. Bravo, for turning a predictable plot upside down. :)
Comment Written 17-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
-
Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from GWHARGIS
I really enjoyed this. I love the hopefulness of it. The main character, Lew, is approachable. There was no preachy or over the top closer to God tendencies. Great job. I look forward to more
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
 |
I really enjoyed this. I love the hopefulness of it. The main character, Lew, is approachable. There was no preachy or over the top closer to God tendencies. Great job. I look forward to more
Comment Written 16-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
-
Wow! Many thanks for your kind words and those shiny six stars. They are deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Mistydawn
What a heartwarming story. I love how he turned something bad into something positive. Helped the poor guy out. He might've even saved the man's life. It's very well-written, interesting, realistic. I just wish I had a six to give you.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
|
What a heartwarming story. I love how he turned something bad into something positive. Helped the poor guy out. He might've even saved the man's life. It's very well-written, interesting, realistic. I just wish I had a six to give you.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
-
Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review! Just the thought of a six means everything.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
I look for opportunities to help. That's why I'm glad you decided to stay. You are welcome here for as long as you need."
If only more people felt this way and followed the path Christ desires us too. A very well written story, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
|
I look for opportunities to help. That's why I'm glad you decided to stay. You are welcome here for as long as you need."
If only more people felt this way and followed the path Christ desires us too. A very well written story, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 16-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
-
Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from w.j.debi
What a nice man to reach out and help a family in need. Of course, he changed what could have happened, including either the death of his friend or himself. It will be interesting to see where the story goes from here.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
|
What a nice man to reach out and help a family in need. Of course, he changed what could have happened, including either the death of his friend or himself. It will be interesting to see where the story goes from here.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
-
Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from estory
I liked the message, of the grace of Christ and the love for all that he preaches. Lew seems to take it to heart, and helps the young troubled black man and his struggling family, and it is an upbeat story of avoided trouble and a chance at a path at redemption and grace that is opened by an act of kindness. I think you did a good job orchestrating all this and the dialogue was really good, nice and crisp, bringing out lots of emotions in the characters. I think you handled the supernatural elements of seeing visions in the future pretty well too; they come across as intuitions, almost believable. It all makes it real for the reader. Giraffmang is a tough, honest critic, one of the best on the site. estory
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
|
I liked the message, of the grace of Christ and the love for all that he preaches. Lew seems to take it to heart, and helps the young troubled black man and his struggling family, and it is an upbeat story of avoided trouble and a chance at a path at redemption and grace that is opened by an act of kindness. I think you did a good job orchestrating all this and the dialogue was really good, nice and crisp, bringing out lots of emotions in the characters. I think you handled the supernatural elements of seeing visions in the future pretty well too; they come across as intuitions, almost believable. It all makes it real for the reader. Giraffmang is a tough, honest critic, one of the best on the site. estory
Comment Written 15-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
-
Wow. Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from JudyE
I enjoyed reading this. I don't think I've read the previous chapter(s) so I'll try to get back and get more of the back story.
Just a few minor points I picked up:
It gently caresses my face bringing a smile - comma after 'bringing'
"To the bone," we both laugh. - I would have put a period after 'bone'
I'll get a half a gallon of milk form the cooler - should be 'from'
"Are you sure you want to do this, Lew. - question mark after 'Lew'
"Not today, Aretha is putting a beef roast in the crockpot," we both laugh. - period after 'crockpot'
"This way, my friends," I motion towards a series of steel doors. - period after 'friends'
Best wishes
Judy
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2019
|
I enjoyed reading this. I don't think I've read the previous chapter(s) so I'll try to get back and get more of the back story.
Just a few minor points I picked up:
It gently caresses my face bringing a smile - comma after 'bringing'
"To the bone," we both laugh. - I would have put a period after 'bone'
I'll get a half a gallon of milk form the cooler - should be 'from'
"Are you sure you want to do this, Lew. - question mark after 'Lew'
"Not today, Aretha is putting a beef roast in the crockpot," we both laugh. - period after 'crockpot'
"This way, my friends," I motion towards a series of steel doors. - period after 'friends'
Best wishes
Judy
Comment Written 14-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2019
-
Hello, my friend! Everything is fixed. Many thanks for your kind words and help with this story.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
