Wilderness Redemption Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Evil Walks Part II"Shenanigans on the frontier
20 total reviews
Comment from Mr. Green
This chapter was great. I enjoyed the dialog and the interaction between the characters. This is the first chapter I have read, but I get the sense of a long journey, and this chapter has introduced me to characters and personalities that has me wanting to tag along. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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This chapter was great. I enjoyed the dialog and the interaction between the characters. This is the first chapter I have read, but I get the sense of a long journey, and this chapter has introduced me to characters and personalities that has me wanting to tag along. Nicely done.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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Thank you very much I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work. I hope you check out the previous chapters.
Comment from lyenochka
Good to see you back, Earl. I like these separate scenes you painted and the way you made the dialogue show the different personalities and the underlying drama beneath them.
One suggestion:
"these buffoons jokes." (buffoons')
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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Good to see you back, Earl. I like these separate scenes you painted and the way you made the dialogue show the different personalities and the underlying drama beneath them.
One suggestion:
"these buffoons jokes." (buffoons')
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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Thank you very much I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from juliaSjames
Wow! I took a look at your author notes and I see this write is part of a western saga. But it reads well enough as a stand alone piece. The characters are vividly portrayed and the dialogue is lively.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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Wow! I took a look at your author notes and I see this write is part of a western saga. But it reads well enough as a stand alone piece. The characters are vividly portrayed and the dialogue is lively.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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Thank you very much I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work. I hope you check out the previous chapters.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Earl. I was amused by the dialogue between Clancy and Smythe concerning the mules. The line that caused me to laugh unexpectedly was, "In case we gotta eat' em." That was quite a surprise. I was looking for a different answer. Robert
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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Hello Earl. I was amused by the dialogue between Clancy and Smythe concerning the mules. The line that caused me to laugh unexpectedly was, "In case we gotta eat' em." That was quite a surprise. I was looking for a different answer. Robert
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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Thank you very much Robert, I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
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You're welcome
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Clancy loves to needle Smythe who doesn't seem to have a sense of humor at all. Angus wanted Doo to go along on the trip to watch over Roseanna, but he had to tell his son Richard to go along to watch Doo and Roseanna. It has been awhile but it is still a good story. You do need to post more often. I had forgotten all about this. LOL Nancy:)
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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Clancy loves to needle Smythe who doesn't seem to have a sense of humor at all. Angus wanted Doo to go along on the trip to watch over Roseanna, but he had to tell his son Richard to go along to watch Doo and Roseanna. It has been awhile but it is still a good story. You do need to post more often. I had forgotten all about this. LOL Nancy:)
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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Thank you very much I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This sounds so backwoodsy and authentic. I like your characters' names. My favorite line was: "My brother couldn't find his way to water if he fell in a river." I appreciate the misspellings as part of the dialect, but I wanted to point out that the punctuation is not part of the dialect. So here is a run-on sentence:
"Doo Carter seems capable of watching over her, why must I trek into the wilderness amongst the wild beasts and savages, HE WANTS To Go."
I would try it this way:
"Doo Carter seems capable of watching over her. Why must I trek into the wilderness amongst the wild beasts and savages, when he WANTS to go?"
But you have a lot of great material here that is working fine.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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This sounds so backwoodsy and authentic. I like your characters' names. My favorite line was: "My brother couldn't find his way to water if he fell in a river." I appreciate the misspellings as part of the dialect, but I wanted to point out that the punctuation is not part of the dialect. So here is a run-on sentence:
"Doo Carter seems capable of watching over her, why must I trek into the wilderness amongst the wild beasts and savages, HE WANTS To Go."
I would try it this way:
"Doo Carter seems capable of watching over her. Why must I trek into the wilderness amongst the wild beasts and savages, when he WANTS to go?"
But you have a lot of great material here that is working fine.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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Thank you very much I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Cybertron1986
This story captures both the time, location, and the language quite authentically. As the reader, I felt I was transported into the moment with well-thought out dialogue and grammar that had a certain flow to it. Very well done
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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This story captures both the time, location, and the language quite authentically. As the reader, I felt I was transported into the moment with well-thought out dialogue and grammar that had a certain flow to it. Very well done
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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Thank you very much I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is well penned as usual. These folks sure do love their cider LOL! I found it both entertaining and engaging and I don't typically care much for westerns. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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This is well penned as usual. These folks sure do love their cider LOL! I found it both entertaining and engaging and I don't typically care much for westerns. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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Thank you very much I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Sally Law
Oh, this is a fine chapter, Earl. You know I love the story of Doo and the Shawnees. A delight to read, especially out loud. No kiss yet between Doo and Miss McAllister, but I remain hopeful.
A few items for polishing.
" . . . I've ever seen."
"Smythe's expedition." Misspelling of Smythe.
"Humph, we'll see about that." Typo.
Sending you my best today as always, dear Earl.
Sally :)
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reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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Oh, this is a fine chapter, Earl. You know I love the story of Doo and the Shawnees. A delight to read, especially out loud. No kiss yet between Doo and Miss McAllister, but I remain hopeful.
A few items for polishing.
" . . . I've ever seen."
"Smythe's expedition." Misspelling of Smythe.
"Humph, we'll see about that." Typo.
Sending you my best today as always, dear Earl.
Sally :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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Your hopes may be fullfilled in the next chapter Sally.Thank you very much I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Darlene Franklin
I haven't read the previous chapters, but I was immediately drawn when I saw the setting was Kentucky. You are writing similar to the one I wanted to write about my family, when the early settlers crossed over the Gap into the Kain-tuck, I think it was called. So I'll be looking for more. Interesting characters, good use of the setting as a character as well.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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I haven't read the previous chapters, but I was immediately drawn when I saw the setting was Kentucky. You are writing similar to the one I wanted to write about my family, when the early settlers crossed over the Gap into the Kain-tuck, I think it was called. So I'll be looking for more. Interesting characters, good use of the setting as a character as well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
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Thank you very much I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work. I hope you check out the previous chapters.
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I will if I can, I know I'll read it going forward.
