A Shadow On The Street
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Raven and Elizabeth"One man's blessing can be another's curse.
11 total reviews
Comment from KatyM
Hi Mike, I like the start of the book. I came to read another chapter that was featured but decided to start at the beginning of the book to see what it was about. Love the spiritual aspect of it. I didn't see anything to add or subtract.
Oh, I did find one thing I was wondering about: This sentence: Lewis Bradley is a man with a gift. A unique power that forced him into hiding from the thoughts of people passes. (is that supposed to say people passing?)
Going to read the next chapter. katy
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Hi Mike, I like the start of the book. I came to read another chapter that was featured but decided to start at the beginning of the book to see what it was about. Love the spiritual aspect of it. I didn't see anything to add or subtract.
Oh, I did find one thing I was wondering about: This sentence: Lewis Bradley is a man with a gift. A unique power that forced him into hiding from the thoughts of people passes. (is that supposed to say people passing?)
Going to read the next chapter. katy
Comment Written 28-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review! I'll work on that title line.
Happy Holidays and God bless.
mike
Comment from Janilou
I now have goosebumps all over. Wow. I just read and reviewed your current chapter. Very, very few books ever capture my attention the way this one did, making me have to come back and read from the beginning. I hope you are planning on publishing this book.
All the best,
Jan
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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I now have goosebumps all over. Wow. I just read and reviewed your current chapter. Very, very few books ever capture my attention the way this one did, making me have to come back and read from the beginning. I hope you are planning on publishing this book.
All the best,
Jan
Comment Written 28-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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I don't write like anybody I've read, it's always in first person POV and stand-alone stories for chapters. Many thanks for those shiny six stars!
Happy Holidays and God bless.
mike
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Mike. Your story is well written. There are some people who do have the gift of sight. Gifts always have to be shared for the good as they don't come from us. Marilyn
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
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Hi Mike. Your story is well written. There are some people who do have the gift of sight. Gifts always have to be shared for the good as they don't come from us. Marilyn
Comment Written 25-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
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Hello, my friend! Many thanks for your kind words and those shiny six stars. I'll be by to read!
Comment from giraffmang
I like your basic premise on this and on the whole it's well-written. I do think though that there one or two areas which may need a little ironing out or further clarification.
My immediate thought on reading this early on was why would he still live in a town/city if he was so troubled from the gift. Would most folk not move to a quieter place?
The young woman walks towards the door, and the link brakes. - in this instance it would be breaks.
Early on, great lengths have been gone to to show how he has changed, culminating in this - Lewis Bradley no longer exists. I'm known as the shadow on the street - a hooded figure that moves silently through the night. He's even moved to a 'ragged' part of town but when he goes to get groceries, the guy calls him by his name. this doesn't appear consistent.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
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I like your basic premise on this and on the whole it's well-written. I do think though that there one or two areas which may need a little ironing out or further clarification.
My immediate thought on reading this early on was why would he still live in a town/city if he was so troubled from the gift. Would most folk not move to a quieter place?
The young woman walks towards the door, and the link brakes. - in this instance it would be breaks.
Early on, great lengths have been gone to to show how he has changed, culminating in this - Lewis Bradley no longer exists. I'm known as the shadow on the street - a hooded figure that moves silently through the night. He's even moved to a 'ragged' part of town but when he goes to get groceries, the guy calls him by his name. this doesn't appear consistent.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
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Hello, my friend! I can't thank you enough for all of your help, which is always amazing. I'll fix those plot flaws today. Thanks again!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from sunnilicious
That was scary to think somebody was bless to read the future so clearly in others. Everybody has a right to privacy. Drug usage is disgusting and how has it grown... This story took a radical turn. I'm not sure if for the better either. Creative. Original. Good work :)
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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That was scary to think somebody was bless to read the future so clearly in others. Everybody has a right to privacy. Drug usage is disgusting and how has it grown... This story took a radical turn. I'm not sure if for the better either. Creative. Original. Good work :)
Comment Written 23-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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This book has so many directions in which to go. I need to get so notes going on this one. Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from robyn corum
Mike,
This is an intriguing premise you're writing this time, my friend. Especially with the spiritual angle you've added. I've read this before, but most often people want to use it to their advantage, of course. haha
Notes:
1.) People have tried to explain my gift (as) reading Auras,
2.) running away with him and selling your body on the streets(?)
3.) will place you and Elizabeth (in) a safe house.
I enjoyed and look forward to more. Thanks!
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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Mike,
This is an intriguing premise you're writing this time, my friend. Especially with the spiritual angle you've added. I've read this before, but most often people want to use it to their advantage, of course. haha
Notes:
1.) People have tried to explain my gift (as) reading Auras,
2.) running away with him and selling your body on the streets(?)
3.) will place you and Elizabeth (in) a safe house.
I enjoyed and look forward to more. Thanks!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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Hello, my friend! Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review! I'll get those fixed.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Narvik
Very well-polished writing with a distinct style. A clairvoyant crusader who is reluctant with the God-given gift that puts the burdens of the whole world on him. Come to think of it, that power would be overwhelming and you depict the pressure it causes Lew very well. This is a very good concept for a book. And some philosophical observations like the issue of Spiritism are a nice touch.
The short, sequential sentences were done nicely. Sometimes that can make writing too "jerky" but not how you do it here.
Keep up the great work, Papa.
~ Jack
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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Very well-polished writing with a distinct style. A clairvoyant crusader who is reluctant with the God-given gift that puts the burdens of the whole world on him. Come to think of it, that power would be overwhelming and you depict the pressure it causes Lew very well. This is a very good concept for a book. And some philosophical observations like the issue of Spiritism are a nice touch.
The short, sequential sentences were done nicely. Sometimes that can make writing too "jerky" but not how you do it here.
Keep up the great work, Papa.
~ Jack
Comment Written 23-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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It's amazing how this idea came to me. I was reading an article in Poets & Writers, the author was talking about walking in someone else's skin, and it blew up in my mind. Many thanks for your kind words and those shiny 6 stars. They are deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Mike,
This was a fabulous read. I thoroughly enjoyed this . Superbly written and easy to read. I do hope there is more to come with this. There are so many ways this character could go.
Loved it.
Brenda.x
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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Hi Mike,
This was a fabulous read. I thoroughly enjoyed this . Superbly written and easy to read. I do hope there is more to come with this. There are so many ways this character could go.
Loved it.
Brenda.x
Comment Written 23-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Darlene Franklin
I'm coming into this cold (don't know if it's the first chapter or along in the book). But it reads a bit like a first chapter, in that you explain the narrator's gift/curse. Intriguing concept! An interesting character, and open to so many story lines. I look forward to seeing what happens with this story.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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I'm coming into this cold (don't know if it's the first chapter or along in the book). But it reads a bit like a first chapter, in that you explain the narrator's gift/curse. Intriguing concept! An interesting character, and open to so many story lines. I look forward to seeing what happens with this story.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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I'm shooting for 20 chapters, we'll see. Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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You;re welcome. Thanks for filling me in on the story.
Comment from royowen
It would be incredibly difficult to write two books at once. There doesn't seem to be so many people writing good Christian work Mike. Of course I'm Au fait with gifts of knowledge and wisdom. In my early days I knew when pastors were going to resign and why, what they were going to preach on, I predicted the demise of two churches, and helped a friend d make a strategic decision, plus others, it was a gift too far, well done, an excellent story, could stand a follow up, blessing, Roy
Typo : will place you and Elizabeth (is) a safe place. In?
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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It would be incredibly difficult to write two books at once. There doesn't seem to be so many people writing good Christian work Mike. Of course I'm Au fait with gifts of knowledge and wisdom. In my early days I knew when pastors were going to resign and why, what they were going to preach on, I predicted the demise of two churches, and helped a friend d make a strategic decision, plus others, it was a gift too far, well done, an excellent story, could stand a follow up, blessing, Roy
Typo : will place you and Elizabeth (is) a safe place. In?
Comment Written 23-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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Hello, my friend! Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review! I'll get that fixed.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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Well done
