Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

ballerina plays the piano
Hello, Mark D. R.,

Perfect syllables count. The presentation is very pretty. The meaning is beautiful. I liked it very much.

Gypsy

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2020

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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020

Gypsy,

THANK YOU. Your review earned me a recognized status for this 5-7-5 post. My daughter at one time attended dance classes and played the piano, but I don't ever recall her doing them together in her tutu. LOL

Mark

Comment from judelesemann

Excellent

Cute poem...certainly fits the picture to a "T". Nice description. I might change the wording.."ivory slats" to the "ivories". I think it would be more descriptive. Keep on writing! Be blessed, Jude

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2020

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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020

Jude,

Thank you for your suggested edit. It is an excellent suggestion if I was not restricted to seven syllables for the middle line in my Haiku. 'white ivories' might be redundant wording, but 'tickle the slim ivories' or 'tickle the ivory keys' might have been alternatives. My slats were just a fun substitute (-;

Mark

Comment from Carl DeVere

Excellent

Great 5-7-5 accompanied by super graphic. Isn't it wonderful when the so- young discover that they are multi-talented? It is a joy to watch and listen to them at that stage.

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2020

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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020

Carl,

You are right - it is a joy to hear and see.

Thank you for your comments about this post. The 5-7-5 poem format is my most preferred writing style. Longer verses are not in my poetry wheelhouse and probably never will be (-;

Mark

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written 5-7-5 poem about the ballerina that doesn't only dance the rhythm of the music with her legs and body but also play the music on the piano with her fingers.

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2019

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reply by the author on 25-Oct-2019

Sandra,

Great comment about her dancing to the music. The photograph inspired some words edits to my original. Normally, I compose then find.

Mark

Mark

Comment from PoemsOfDD

Excellent

Mark, this is an enjoyable 5-7-5 set in pretty pink.
The words and visual of seated ballerina poised allows for the sound of the piano to almost float through. Well done! ~DD

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2019

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reply by the author on 25-Oct-2019

She is pretty in pink. Her pose is terrific. I do like my verse, but this photograph is outstanding. THANKS again for reviewing my short verse posts.

Mark

Comment from karenina

Excellent

Delightful offering! When one is writing seventeen short syllables there is a certain need to word-smith. Each word within your poem feels like a perfect fit. This adds to the flow and enhances the theme. Reading beyond the obvious I love how you subtly reminded the reader that all forms of art are lovely in their own right.. Dancing, playing an instrument... perfect harmony indeed! --Karenina

 Comment Written 24-Oct-2019

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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019

Karenina,

So pleased with how this one affected you! Your kind endorsement rings in my ear. The photograph helped me wordsmith the final 5-7-5.

Mark

Comment from Sugarray77

Excellent

I love this one Mark. You have done an excellent job in using a photo to enhance your verse. Your choice of words is very good... pink, tickle, slats.. very descriptive. I enjoyed reading it.

Melissa

 Comment Written 24-Oct-2019

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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019

Melissa,

Yep, sometimes it IS the artwork that can shape my poems. I had originally penned 'black and white keys.' Then I went looking for an appropriate illustration in FanArt. Voila! A new idea emerged. 'Ivory' contrasts with her ballerina outfit and has the same three syllables as 'black and white.'

Pleased you again liked my short style work.

Mark

P.S. Somehow I missed seeing, reviewing, or voting for your 'reflected shadows' post in the under 10 contest. Apologies for not doimg. It was very good. The entry that beat you out was excellent.

Comment from Janice Canerdy

Excellent

You have made excellent use of all syllables in this lovely piece. Your poem is a charming, creative response to the artwork. "Ivory slats"--
good description

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019

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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019

Janice,

The great thing about FS for me is: after personal reflection or viewer suggestions I can make changes to my poems (-; But in this case, the picture inspired some changes. E.g., the 'ivory slats' was originally 'black and white keys.' Then with the photograph, I wanted my color of the keys to match the dancer's outfit, ergo the change with the same syllable count (-;

Thanks, as always, for supporting my short erses.

Mark

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

This is a great presentation, Mark--good syllable count per line, great art and imagery, and unique topic. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019

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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2019

Jan,

Pleased with your response to this music and dance scene. IMHO the photograph was terrific and allowed me to alter the final text in my last line. I also changed my original 'black and white' to 'ivory' (same three syllables!) to complement the dancer's pictured outfit.

Mark

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

-Very nice image
and presentation, Mark.
-She is a very talented
young lady.
-I guess she had finished
dancing and decided to play the piano!
-The imagery is effective
with "pink fingers" and
"tickling the ivories" in the second.
-A very good concluding line, too.

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019

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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2019

Thanks Pam,

I have no idea if she wears nail polish or not, but the dancer has a lovely looking ballerina like outfit so I adorned her fingers with pink to contrast with the ivory, rather than black and white keys. From her 'statuesque pose,' she probably is a talented young woman (-:

Pleased you liked this presentation.

Mark

reply by Pam (respa) on 24-Oct-2019

You are very welcome, Mark, and thanks for sharing. You put a lot of thought into this.