Wish Upon A Star
Your Dreams Can Come True!6 total reviews
Comment from irishauthorme
I like the way you explained many of the quotes, references and Bible verses, in a way that made the poem more appealing to your readers, most of whom may not have understood your meaning.
Like to think that if there was a majority of people in this world who thought of others before themselves, what a beautiful world it would be.
However, your philosophy is contagious, and will inspire others to follow your example.
irish
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2019
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I like the way you explained many of the quotes, references and Bible verses, in a way that made the poem more appealing to your readers, most of whom may not have understood your meaning.
Like to think that if there was a majority of people in this world who thought of others before themselves, what a beautiful world it would be.
However, your philosophy is contagious, and will inspire others to follow your example.
irish
Comment Written 06-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2019
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thanks Irish I would like to think that my attitude is contagious. I'm looking forward to any read the next one I post which is going to be called my secret code. I started out writing something and it twists and turns out to be something different than what I had originally intended.
blessings,
Brother Badger
Comment from w.j.debi
You've done a good job selecting end rhymes and using enjambment to keep the verse flowing well.
The chance to help others is often fleeting and fades quickly so the fading star is an excellent image to open your poem. Good job supporting the theme by stating how helping others brings satisfaction and will make us happier in the end.
Good job bringing the poem back to the star to complete the loop.
You've chosen beautiful artwork to support your theme.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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You've done a good job selecting end rhymes and using enjambment to keep the verse flowing well.
The chance to help others is often fleeting and fades quickly so the fading star is an excellent image to open your poem. Good job supporting the theme by stating how helping others brings satisfaction and will make us happier in the end.
Good job bringing the poem back to the star to complete the loop.
You've chosen beautiful artwork to support your theme.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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thank you so much baby I really appreciate your support and your reviews, especially in light of the fact that I'm not promoting this. You have been a great inspiration and resource here I appreciate your comments
Blessings
Brother Badger
Darren
Comment from Gail Denham
The inspiration and thought is good - I felt the poem was a bit too long to be as powerful as it might have been. Also in a writing like this, I always looks for specific examples. those always help the reader to SEE what you're saying. Just my thoughts. blessings.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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The inspiration and thought is good - I felt the poem was a bit too long to be as powerful as it might have been. Also in a writing like this, I always looks for specific examples. those always help the reader to SEE what you're saying. Just my thoughts. blessings.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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thank you a great review very helpful dirty informative at and I will certainly help me write better. and looking for specific examples can you give me an example I think you mean something meeting up to something or when there's a group of similar items in the same area of the porn thanks for your help this was a great review
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thanks that was great advice I dropped everything and honed it and tune it and worked on it until I had it just right. Thank you, for you helped me improve my poem. I look forward to the possibility that you'll take a chance to see what I how I edited.
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Okay - I re-read how you changed it - i still think it's too long, as there's the danger of too much of a good thing. You speak of Helping others. Give an example. "The guy at the corner, sleeping in a bag on the concrete, I left him a water bottle and a bag of McDonald's." "there is a drive for coats. I don't need all the coats I have. Some will go there."
I like that your mother inspired you- that's often the case - it sure was in my case. My mom was a giver. "A elderly woman with a cane tried to get in the door. Help her."
I did this once and began a friendship where I visited her several times and was her friend.
Those are the kind of examples - make them strong and short. Short.
Just my thoughts.
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the main messages of the piece was not then I was helping others but that if you have a good attitude it will help in the overall scheme of things. Thanks again for helping me improve the poem. Sometimes when I go back and edit, however I don't like to change too much as it becomes a product of the moment which is humanly flawed
Hi Darren! Thank you for sharing this spiritual encouragement in verse! I like how you string all the stanzas together in enjambment so the sentences keep flowing into each other. And of course, the message is stellar - we can wish upon a star or talk to God and He will use us to make us stars in His great plan!
" imortality " (immortality)
Comment Written 21-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
as usual your views are not only enlightening but also helpful. When I wrote this I wondered about immortality but I couldn't remember and the spelling check and correct it right so thanks again for your attention to detail.
Darren
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Comment from Liz O'Neill
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a profound message. I will address this poem but before I want to share a funny story. When I saw the word manure it made me think of this: There was man who lectured on the use and abuse of manure. It was obvious to everyone that he was a man who was full of his subject." You can use this story if you want to.
Now your poem. You have once again addressed my favorite theme of appreciating the now. I was mulling over some drama that could have been worse. Then I remembered how Eckhart Tolle said it is we who keep the drama alive. It was in the past. I don't think we can shine like a star if we are in distress from drama from the past which is no longer real. Well expressed.
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Comment from kahpot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
"with much less manure" (very well said)-what an excellent read as it rhymes and flows to give us a wonderful story, and I very much like how one stanza leads us to the next, great artwork to enhance this beautiful poem, very well presented****kahpot
Comment Written 21-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
hey thanks for your compliment in your view, I just I had to find something that Blended well and another reviewer a lion. She tells me that she also liked how it flowed together. I appreciate the compliment on the less manure. Blessings,
Brother Badger
AKA Darren
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thanks so much for your advice and is valid and I apologize for my bipolar tangent
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Not to worry - we must all defend our writings if we're sincere about them. Of course we also listen to critique - least I do - and appreciate it. Blessings.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This is a profound message. I will address this poem but before I want to share a funny story. When I saw the word manure it made me think of this: There was man who lectured on the use and abuse of manure. It was obvious to everyone that he was a man who was full of his subject." You can use this story if you want to.
Now your poem. You have once again addressed my favorite theme of appreciating the now. I was mulling over some drama that could have been worse. Then I remembered how Eckhart Tolle said it is we who keep the drama alive. It was in the past. I don't think we can shine like a star if we are in distress from drama from the past which is no longer real. Well expressed.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2019
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This is a profound message. I will address this poem but before I want to share a funny story. When I saw the word manure it made me think of this: There was man who lectured on the use and abuse of manure. It was obvious to everyone that he was a man who was full of his subject." You can use this story if you want to.
Now your poem. You have once again addressed my favorite theme of appreciating the now. I was mulling over some drama that could have been worse. Then I remembered how Eckhart Tolle said it is we who keep the drama alive. It was in the past. I don't think we can shine like a star if we are in distress from drama from the past which is no longer real. Well expressed.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2019
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find Airways York lower your view is a salve to my Melancholy wounds.
bless you thanks so much for the review great to hear from you darling
Comment from kahpot
"with much less manure" (very well said)-what an excellent read as it rhymes and flows to give us a wonderful story, and I very much like how one stanza leads us to the next, great artwork to enhance this beautiful poem, very well presented****kahpot
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
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"with much less manure" (very well said)-what an excellent read as it rhymes and flows to give us a wonderful story, and I very much like how one stanza leads us to the next, great artwork to enhance this beautiful poem, very well presented****kahpot
Comment Written 21-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
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hey thanks for your compliment in your view, I just I had to find something that Blended well and another reviewer a lion. She tells me that she also liked how it flowed together. I appreciate the compliment on the less manure. Blessings,
Brother Badger
AKA Darren
Comment from lyenochka
Hi Darren! Thank you for sharing this spiritual encouragement in verse! I like how you string all the stanzas together in enjambment so the sentences keep flowing into each other. And of course, the message is stellar - we can wish upon a star or talk to God and He will use us to make us stars in His great plan!
" imortality " (immortality)
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
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Hi Darren! Thank you for sharing this spiritual encouragement in verse! I like how you string all the stanzas together in enjambment so the sentences keep flowing into each other. And of course, the message is stellar - we can wish upon a star or talk to God and He will use us to make us stars in His great plan!
" imortality " (immortality)
Comment Written 21-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
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as usual your views are not only enlightening but also helpful. When I wrote this I wondered about immortality but I couldn't remember and the spelling check and correct it right so thanks again for your attention to detail.
Darren
