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St Louis

Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "St. Louis Chapter 15 part 2"
Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?

19 total reviews 
Comment from Sylvia Page
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This chapter is quite alarming with Jose getting shot by a bullet meant for McKenzie. Logan has taken charge and ignore's Mac. Mac on the other hand is relieved that he is there. Great chapter.
Sylvia

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Well done, Logan! Someone has to be tough with Mac, she is a pretty stubborn lady, but underneath all that bravado, she really does want Logan to stay. That was quite a feisty chapter, Barbara, you wrote all the emotions and actions brilliantly, a very well written part, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So Officer Jose Lopez took a bullet to protect McKenzie, it sounds like. I guess it is inevitable that Logan and McKenzie will hit it off very well in the next chapter. With this line: Austin walked up to him. "So you think Mac's you're lady?"
I think it would read more correctly as: Austin walked up to him. "So you think Mac's your lady?"
Good chapter.

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    You're correct. I made a mistake. Thank you for the catch.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Well, there's no doubt that someone is out to get Mac, so Logan has an excuse to stay close. I wonder why she's so touchy about Gus Piper. That's more of a mystery than who killed Logan's sister!

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 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2019
    It's an additional mystery. Thank you for the kind reveiw.
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Things are definitely getting out of control. A former boyfriend of Mac threatens Logan. ( I don't recall Austin and don't see him on the characters list.) Jose gets shot, but it happens when he's protecting Mac, because the shot was meant for her. The police don't seem to have any answers yet about what's going on. At least Jose will be all right. It seems one Sidney Parks is interested in the shooting. Sounds like Sidney may be a person of interest. Bill says he doesn't even the details about Mac's grandfather's death. Lots of action in this part. Great work! judi

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2019
    Austin isn't on the character list because he only was in one scene. He danced with Mac at the bar before Jose wa shot. We won't see him any more. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by judiverse on 21-Oct-2019
    You're welcome. Perhaps there should have been some kind of forewarning, because Austin went after Logan pretty heavily. judi
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    I can do that.
reply by judiverse on 22-Oct-2019
    Great story, but Austin confronting Logan like that came as a bit of a surprise. judi
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well done with this episode, some action in this Barbara, well done, So, at last Mackenzie realises that she is a target, and the reality hits her when Jose gets shot pushing her away taking a bullet for her, Logan stays with for the night, and I think she'll soften toward Logan, well done Barbara, super episode, blesskngs, Roy
Typo Jose would (be) safe at home.2;: I will stay with her until she('s) settled.

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 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2019
    I have made those changes. Thank you for the catches.
reply by royowen on 20-Oct-2019
    Most welcome Barbara
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara, this is a great chapter and there is indeed a lot of action. I'm so sorry about Jose but I'm glad that he's out of danger. I smell romance in the air. Just found one thing:
If I did, maybe Jose would safe at home with his wife." = If I had, maybe Jose would be safe at home with his wife."
All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the catch. I have made the change. That's exactly why I post on FS. I like my friends helping me edit.
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Very dramatic chapter this one. Well done. See your private messages. Now for spags. his voice quiet, yet [delete space have stern on same line before dialogue]

stern.

He slid behind the st[ir](ee)ring wheel,

McKenzie opened her mouth.(Dialogue next line)

Once inside, you go up on to bed. I'll [let] take care of the dogs."

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2019
    I can't believe I made those mistakes. I have made the corrections and appreciate the help.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hooray! I found your post. Great chapter with lots of action. I think Logan found a way to sleep on Makenzie's couch. HE was willing to take a shot for the opportunity.

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2019
    LOL I am so happy to see a review from you. I was wondering why you stopped reviewing. I thought I'd upset you.