Obsessive Tendencies
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "His Reality"An Unlikely Journey Toward Reconstruction
26 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Yvette,
Lovely piece. I enjoyed this a lot - one of the things I try to caution writers on all the time is offering more than simple dialogue in stories. Sharing the characters' movements, facial expressions, what's going on in the room - all those things to set the stage, help the reader picture the scene, and make the piece more realistic. It's hard for some folks to grasp.
I plan to have 'guest speakers' in my how-tos on writing flash fiction - I'm hoping you will be one of them. I want you to put together a short piece (like 1000 words or so) about this skill, why it's important, and tips on how to accomplish it. I know, I know - you've got plenty of time on your hands, so I'll expect it turned in by this afternoon. Sayyy... 4:00pm?
hehehehe
Just kidding, of course. About the time - not the project. Please let me know if you're willing? Then you can work on it and let me know when it's ready. No immediate time limit - but in the foreseeable future.
There are a couple notes here:
1.) He let his eyes w(a)nder all around the space as if to spy something that was not there.
2.) Need flags for sex and language, please
Thanks so much -- moving on!
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
  |
Yvette,
Lovely piece. I enjoyed this a lot - one of the things I try to caution writers on all the time is offering more than simple dialogue in stories. Sharing the characters' movements, facial expressions, what's going on in the room - all those things to set the stage, help the reader picture the scene, and make the piece more realistic. It's hard for some folks to grasp.
I plan to have 'guest speakers' in my how-tos on writing flash fiction - I'm hoping you will be one of them. I want you to put together a short piece (like 1000 words or so) about this skill, why it's important, and tips on how to accomplish it. I know, I know - you've got plenty of time on your hands, so I'll expect it turned in by this afternoon. Sayyy... 4:00pm?
hehehehe
Just kidding, of course. About the time - not the project. Please let me know if you're willing? Then you can work on it and let me know when it's ready. No immediate time limit - but in the foreseeable future.
There are a couple notes here:
1.) He let his eyes w(a)nder all around the space as if to spy something that was not there.
2.) Need flags for sex and language, please
Thanks so much -- moving on!
Comment Written 23-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
-
Are you serious now? Me? Okay... wow? Uhmmm.... so, like an 'explanation' [I've only ever taught math and physics - lol!], right? I'm thinking best to include examples of with/without the descriptions...? You let me know if you're looking for something in particular, yeah? -- the more details the better cuz you're dealing with 'miss logical' here, remember? And I can see getting to it next week some time cuz it's exams so no lesson prep [that a good time frame?].... putting it on a sticky note on the desk right now (don't worry, that means it's important - no lie!)... Take care! ;) Yvette
P.S. Added the flags... really thought I had those on there. :?
-
YAY! and HUZZAH! I'm excited you're accepting the challenge. I know your thoughts will be a great blessing - as well as sooooo helpful.
YAY!!!!
Comment from kahpot
The explanations-descriptions of "relief, mating, and just drinking water" among others are wonderful, and the thought about their actions and the consequences they may have, it took me awhile to catch up although I have previously read two chapters I had to and will have to continue going back otherwise I will just lose the plot! a wonderful read and I will catch soon****kahpot
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
|
The explanations-descriptions of "relief, mating, and just drinking water" among others are wonderful, and the thought about their actions and the consequences they may have, it took me awhile to catch up although I have previously read two chapters I had to and will have to continue going back otherwise I will just lose the plot! a wonderful read and I will catch soon****kahpot
Comment Written 25-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
-
Well, I did say it was adult fantasy... ;) :) :) Thanx so much for your review on this one, kahpot -- so glad you're catching up to join in the story! ;) Your support is something for which I am ever grateful -- take care over there, ya hear!! ;) Yvette
Comment from Fonda Little
Mistake I found, "Gregor felt the tension inside of him. This whole", you used an unneeded extra space between tension and inside.
This seems to me like a twist of fantasy on the story of Romeo and Juliet!
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
|
Mistake I found, "Gregor felt the tension inside of him. This whole", you used an unneeded extra space between tension and inside.
This seems to me like a twist of fantasy on the story of Romeo and Juliet!
Comment Written 25-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
-
Thank you so much for that catch, Fonda!! ;) Glad you're enjoying the tale!! ;) Yvette
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
Good to see Gregor can trust someone and hopefully Andre wont betray that trust in any way...and now I understand why Gregor still went after Celeste even though he is supposed to be engaged! Social contractual marriage to increase your power...Tywin Lannister from game of thrones would be proud :-)
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2020
|
Good to see Gregor can trust someone and hopefully Andre wont betray that trust in any way...and now I understand why Gregor still went after Celeste even though he is supposed to be engaged! Social contractual marriage to increase your power...Tywin Lannister from game of thrones would be proud :-)
Comment Written 25-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2020
-
LOl! Yeah, I've not had time for GOT, but my students rave about it! ;) :) Thanx for the review, Aaquib -- once again, I do so appreciate your support! ;) Yvette
-
Thats what my first thought was! I have loved reading your work so far :-)
Comment from ciliverde
This is shaping up to be a challenging love affair between the werewolf and the woodland fairy. how long will it take for Andre to figure out who the skinny young woman in the hoody is? Not long, I bet. You continue to do very well with your story, I am enjoying it immensely!
Carol
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2020
|
This is shaping up to be a challenging love affair between the werewolf and the woodland fairy. how long will it take for Andre to figure out who the skinny young woman in the hoody is? Not long, I bet. You continue to do very well with your story, I am enjoying it immensely!
Carol
Comment Written 23-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2020
-
Your reviews are a wonderful 'shot in the arm', Carol -- thanx so much for taking the time to comment on my crazy characters... I try to make 'em real for everyone not inside my head - LOL!! ;) :) ;) Take care! ;) Yvette
Comment from Rikki66
Gregor is in a bit of a quandary to follow the wishes of his father or to follow the fates bestowed by the moon goddess. He like all men must choose between their hearts and their heads.
Rikki
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
 |
Gregor is in a bit of a quandary to follow the wishes of his father or to follow the fates bestowed by the moon goddess. He like all men must choose between their hearts and their heads.
Rikki
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
-
It is choice that has consequences on both sides... but hey, where's the excitement without that?! ;) :) Again, Rikki, I am humbled by your ratings and by the fact that you have taken the time to get caught up, sir -- thank you for ALL of them and for your awesome support! ;) :) Take care! ;) Yvette
-
You hooked me with chapter four i had to catch up.
Rikki
Comment from May 1
I can't help but wonder what the issue is between wolves and fairies. Well, it's good to hear that he won't forsake the will of the Fates. It sounds like her poor mother has found out how much unhappiness one could suffer if they didn't stay with their Fated mates. It's nice to see things from his point of view as well.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
|
I can't help but wonder what the issue is between wolves and fairies. Well, it's good to hear that he won't forsake the will of the Fates. It sounds like her poor mother has found out how much unhappiness one could suffer if they didn't stay with their Fated mates. It's nice to see things from his point of view as well.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
-
So glad you enjoyed 'Gregor's side' here, May -- try to give as much background as possible (without being boring, ya know?) before moving forward.... and we'll get 'forward' soon enough! ;) :) Thanx again for joining me and have a great week! ;) Yvette
Comment from w.j.debi
Oh, my! Gregor has it bad. Already he is worried about how to hide his new love from his friends and relations. I can see why he doesn't want to go through with the arranged marriage.
You have set this story up for some real complications. Romeo and Juliet had it easy in comparison.
Again, you deserve. Six for this chapter.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
|
Oh, my! Gregor has it bad. Already he is worried about how to hide his new love from his friends and relations. I can see why he doesn't want to go through with the arranged marriage.
You have set this story up for some real complications. Romeo and Juliet had it easy in comparison.
Again, you deserve. Six for this chapter.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
-
Aaaaaah, but what would be the fun in fairytale (or real, for that matter!!) life without complications, yeah?! ;) Thanx again for playing catch-up, W.J. -- means a lot! Yvette
Comment from susand3022
Yeah... I'm thinking that Gregor should have taken a shower before he went anywhere!... or at least walked his way through an atomizer! LOL I'd have done something to get rid of that fairy scent. He could be torn to shreds by his father. I'm sure his father knows the scent of a fairy at 100 paces! EEEEK!
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
|
Yeah... I'm thinking that Gregor should have taken a shower before he went anywhere!... or at least walked his way through an atomizer! LOL I'd have done something to get rid of that fairy scent. He could be torn to shreds by his father. I'm sure his father knows the scent of a fairy at 100 paces! EEEEK!
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
-
LOL!! I'm so glad you're catching up.... how did you miss this one? :) Anyway, I'll be caught up on these reviews soon..... I promise! ;) LOL! ;) Yvette
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is well penned with no overt evidence of SPAG making it an easy and enjoyable reading experience. It progresses in a fluid and logical manner allowing for the storyline to be easily followed ad absorbed. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2019
|
This is well penned with no overt evidence of SPAG making it an easy and enjoyable reading experience. It progresses in a fluid and logical manner allowing for the storyline to be easily followed ad absorbed. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2019
-
Thank you so very much for your lovely review, Angel -- and I apologize for the tardiness of this reply -- life happens sometimes (and isn't that just a wonderful thing!)... :) Take care! ;) Yvette
