One Little Flame
Free Verse for the Fabulous Free Verse Club26 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
This is a lovely description of the burning taper. Would change the waxy drops though since beswax is on the next line, some adjective that describes how the drops look perhaps, maybe shining drops or opaque drops or lukewarm drops even. I like the scattered rhyme tall/wall/all as well.
This is very well executed.
waxy drops
of beeswax
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
  |
This is a lovely description of the burning taper. Would change the waxy drops though since beswax is on the next line, some adjective that describes how the drops look perhaps, maybe shining drops or opaque drops or lukewarm drops even. I like the scattered rhyme tall/wall/all as well.
This is very well executed.
waxy drops
of beeswax
Comment Written 12-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
-
Thank you, Jim. I'll take another look.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
The candle could be a metaphor for a person. When lit it is living and consuming the wax as the flame flickers and lives. The wax diminishes as the time passes and in the end is no more than a flattened piece of melted wax, which could be the bones of the candle. The poem is "light", but enjoyable. Lovely picture.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
|
The candle could be a metaphor for a person. When lit it is living and consuming the wax as the flame flickers and lives. The wax diminishes as the time passes and in the end is no more than a flattened piece of melted wax, which could be the bones of the candle. The poem is "light", but enjoyable. Lovely picture.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
-
Thank you. I'm glad you saw so much in this humble poem. That makes me so happy.
-
Good!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written free verse poem about the candle flame that is able to light up a dark room quite enough to see what is going on and casting done shadows on the walls
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
|
A very well-written free verse poem about the candle flame that is able to light up a dark room quite enough to see what is going on and casting done shadows on the walls
Comment Written 12-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
-
Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Yvonne. I know that the subject was fire. Aside from the fire that stands at the top of the candle, your description of the burning candle is really excellent. my favorite part of the poem was the description in the last half of the free verse starting with the following sentence, "a taper struggling to live." Well done. Robert
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
|
Hello Yvonne. I know that the subject was fire. Aside from the fire that stands at the top of the candle, your description of the burning candle is really excellent. my favorite part of the poem was the description in the last half of the free verse starting with the following sentence, "a taper struggling to live." Well done. Robert
Comment Written 12-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
-
Thank you so much, Robert.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from judiverse
This is lovely, enhanced by the wonderful picture of the candle. Hard to imagine reading by candlelight. Your imagery of the reflections of the candle flame is great. You show feeling for the candle struggling to live. (Our answer to that is the LED candles.) You sustain the mood beautifully in your free verse. judi
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
|
This is lovely, enhanced by the wonderful picture of the candle. Hard to imagine reading by candlelight. Your imagery of the reflections of the candle flame is great. You show feeling for the candle struggling to live. (Our answer to that is the LED candles.) You sustain the mood beautifully in your free verse. judi
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
-
Thank you for a lovely review, Judi.
-
You're very welcome. judi
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Too often love burns out as completely as a candle's flame. What once burned hot cools and is finally extinguished until nothing remains but smokey memories.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
|
Too often love burns out as completely as a candle's flame. What once burned hot cools and is finally extinguished until nothing remains but smokey memories.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
-
So true. Thanks for reviewing.
