View of the Lake
Sedoka Contest Entry10 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for transporting us again--last time with ballooning, this time with lake fishing. I enjoyed your use of the sedoka form to create the contrast and alliteration to add intensity. Here's to "solace" and best wishes in the contest- Joan
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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Thank you for transporting us again--last time with ballooning, this time with lake fishing. I enjoyed your use of the sedoka form to create the contrast and alliteration to add intensity. Here's to "solace" and best wishes in the contest- Joan
Comment Written 13-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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Thank you so much for your review, Joan -- and here's wishing you some solace of your own this week! ;)
Comment from LisaMay
When the photo came on my screen my heart sank at seeing all the 'traffic' on the lake - then your poem summed it up perfectly: how we look forward to a peaceful activity and every other bugger is there too.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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When the photo came on my screen my heart sank at seeing all the 'traffic' on the lake - then your poem summed it up perfectly: how we look forward to a peaceful activity and every other bugger is there too.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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Oh, yeah! Thank you for your review!
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Mystery Writer,
So true!
So many individuals wreak havoc with the beauty of the lakes by leaving their debris and garbage everywhere. And, yes, a pub's solace can be the place to go...after I clean up the beaches!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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Hello Mystery Writer,
So true!
So many individuals wreak havoc with the beauty of the lakes by leaving their debris and garbage everywhere. And, yes, a pub's solace can be the place to go...after I clean up the beaches!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 13-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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Lol! Thank you for your review!
Comment from Dawn Munro
You've written a super Sedoka in my opinion. Not only does your poem address the same topic from different perspectives, you've managed to make it time-progressive, and included wonderful alliteration -- a poetry device that I enjoy when it doesn't seem forced. Yours does not. Most delightful!
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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You've written a super Sedoka in my opinion. Not only does your poem address the same topic from different perspectives, you've managed to make it time-progressive, and included wonderful alliteration -- a poetry device that I enjoy when it doesn't seem forced. Yours does not. Most delightful!
Comment Written 12-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Thank you for your encouraging review.
Comment from Alex Rosel
I like this. You use of alliteration has gone into overdrive, and it's very effective {thumbs up}.
I like the thought of boats littering the lake. And I can also relate to a weekend sending me a welcome call.
Best of luck with this when the voting booth opens {smiles}.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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I like this. You use of alliteration has gone into overdrive, and it's very effective {thumbs up}.
I like the thought of boats littering the lake. And I can also relate to a weekend sending me a welcome call.
Best of luck with this when the voting booth opens {smiles}.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Thanks so much for your positive comments!
Comment from Michael McCottry Bell Jr
Very descriptive and creative. I love you're use of alliteration and image almost a tongue twister. I like the alternative worlds in the sedoka passages and i think this is a good one. Best of luck in the contest
Mike
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Very descriptive and creative. I love you're use of alliteration and image almost a tongue twister. I like the alternative worlds in the sedoka passages and i think this is a good one. Best of luck in the contest
Mike
Comment Written 12-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Thanks so much for your positive comments!
Comment from kahpot
Excellent, some of my best fishing has been done at the pub! then via the shop to take home the days catch, very well done as the last stanza compliments the first, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Excellent, some of my best fishing has been done at the pub! then via the shop to take home the days catch, very well done as the last stanza compliments the first, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 11-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Thanks so much for your positive comments!
Comment from Susan Larson
I'm still learning about different poetry forms, including sedoka. On the other hand, I have lots of experience with guests at our lake house, adding extra laundry, using up gas for the boat and not offering to pay for it. But I do get the part about the peaceful pub providing solace. YOu skillfully caught both perspectives. Would give you a six if I still had one.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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I'm still learning about different poetry forms, including sedoka. On the other hand, I have lots of experience with guests at our lake house, adding extra laundry, using up gas for the boat and not offering to pay for it. But I do get the part about the peaceful pub providing solace. YOu skillfully caught both perspectives. Would give you a six if I still had one.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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Thank you so very much for your wonderful comments and positive review!!
Comment from pome lover
I wonder if those fishermen caught many fish the day that picture was taken?:)
I love your opposing takes on the same subject. Good word choices get your points across well. It's a fine entry for the Sedoka contest. (I keep wanting to say Soduko. ha.)
Anyway, I like your poem. Good luck.
pome lover
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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I wonder if those fishermen caught many fish the day that picture was taken?:)
I love your opposing takes on the same subject. Good word choices get your points across well. It's a fine entry for the Sedoka contest. (I keep wanting to say Soduko. ha.)
Anyway, I like your poem. Good luck.
pome lover
Comment Written 11-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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Lol! Thanks so much for your positive comments and the smile!
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
This is probably just how it happens depending on the location and how well that it's patrolled. I think that the waters should be monitored more carefully. I guess for some, a cold one can ease the ruined day by litterers and lawbreakers. Thanks for sharing this well written work. Well done!
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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This is probably just how it happens depending on the location and how well that it's patrolled. I think that the waters should be monitored more carefully. I guess for some, a cold one can ease the ruined day by litterers and lawbreakers. Thanks for sharing this well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 11-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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Thanks so much for your positive comments!
