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A Sedoka entry11 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I loved this little poem as children see life so differently and we should take a look behind their eyes occasionally and enjoy life, I loved the sentiments here, you won my vote, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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I loved this little poem as children see life so differently and we should take a look behind their eyes occasionally and enjoy life, I loved the sentiments here, you won my vote, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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You are right. We do need to look at life more through the eyes of a child.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Mystery Writer!
I so appreciate your handling of the Sedoka format! The imagery is keen and your words surely created a picture in my mind apart from the artwork. So realistic, yet poetically expressed in a delightful way!
Kudos!
Thank you for sharing and best wishes!
diane
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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Hello Mystery Writer!
I so appreciate your handling of the Sedoka format! The imagery is keen and your words surely created a picture in my mind apart from the artwork. So realistic, yet poetically expressed in a delightful way!
Kudos!
Thank you for sharing and best wishes!
diane
Comment Written 13-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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I appreciate very much your insightful and encouraging feedback!
Comment from dragonpoet
This poem sadly shows that we lose the simple joys of life as we grow up.
We should remember to act like a child every once in a while.
Good luck in the contest
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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This poem sadly shows that we lose the simple joys of life as we grow up.
We should remember to act like a child every once in a while.
Good luck in the contest
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 12-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Thank you for stopping by to share your sentiments.
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You're welcome on both accounts.
dp
Comment from LisaMay
Your sedoka works really well - the harrassed mum, caught out in a storm, and the child, well prepared for enjoyment, with no worries about wet feet. Cursing and laughing in the same scenario - different attitudes.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Your sedoka works really well - the harrassed mum, caught out in a storm, and the child, well prepared for enjoyment, with no worries about wet feet. Cursing and laughing in the same scenario - different attitudes.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Thank you for stopping by to share your sentiments.
Comment from Sharon Feldt
Perfect pairing of words, illustration and perspective! I love the action of the pelting rain, the jumping child, the perspectives of mother and child regarding the rain. Well done!
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Perfect pairing of words, illustration and perspective! I love the action of the pelting rain, the jumping child, the perspectives of mother and child regarding the rain. Well done!
Comment Written 11-Oct-2019
Comment from Susan Larson
Kids love rain. I still love a warm rain, so I must still be a kid. Very nice rain picture to go with the poem, a form of poetry I am not familiar with, but being new to Fanstory, there are lots of those. Thank you for introducing me to this one.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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Kids love rain. I still love a warm rain, so I must still be a kid. Very nice rain picture to go with the poem, a form of poetry I am not familiar with, but being new to Fanstory, there are lots of those. Thank you for introducing me to this one.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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Thank you so much for dropping by to read and review!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork.
-The syllable count is good,
and the imagery is effective.
-I like the distinction between
the two verses, connected by
the first line and the child.
-The first one is made
dramatic with the use of "pelted."
-There is extreme joy in
the second one as the child
is jumping in the puddles.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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-Very nice artwork.
-The syllable count is good,
and the imagery is effective.
-I like the distinction between
the two verses, connected by
the first line and the child.
-The first one is made
dramatic with the use of "pelted."
-There is extreme joy in
the second one as the child
is jumping in the puddles.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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Thank you so much for dropping by to read and review!
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You are welcome.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
I found this a worthy entry into the Sedoka writing contest. The picture needs the poem just as the poem was inspired by the picture.
Wouldn't a whole volume of images and poems like this one; be published.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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I found this a worthy entry into the Sedoka writing contest. The picture needs the poem just as the poem was inspired by the picture.
Wouldn't a whole volume of images and poems like this one; be published.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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Thank you so much for dropping by to read and review!
Comment from Mark Howitt
A lovely thought, seeing it from both sides; how each is satisfied and happy with their position/state and fails to understand the other. Even so, it's better than if each were jealous of the other's dryness / playfulness. But best of all would be an enjoyment of both.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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A lovely thought, seeing it from both sides; how each is satisfied and happy with their position/state and fails to understand the other. Even so, it's better than if each were jealous of the other's dryness / playfulness. But best of all would be an enjoyment of both.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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Thank you so much for dropping by to read and review!
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You're very welcome.
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By the way, any chance of reviewing some of mine so I can get above the magical 5 reviews?
Comment from Flyaway1
Loved your picture.
Beautiful- highlights your words
The first 5-7-7. Sets the scene well- it just reads a little awkward.
The second 5-7-7was perfect. It felt free flowing and something a child
Would love to be doing.
Perhaps: soaking the mother and child. Or any other verb that you like
She wishes they were inside
Just a thought.
I liked that you observed the mother's thoughts followed by the child's thoughts.
Very relatable.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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Loved your picture.
Beautiful- highlights your words
The first 5-7-7. Sets the scene well- it just reads a little awkward.
The second 5-7-7was perfect. It felt free flowing and something a child
Would love to be doing.
Perhaps: soaking the mother and child. Or any other verb that you like
She wishes they were inside
Just a thought.
I liked that you observed the mother's thoughts followed by the child's thoughts.
Very relatable.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
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Thank you so much for dropping by to read and review!
