It Is Up To Us
We, the people, must correct the course of our country3 total reviews
Comment from nor84
I wanted to give you a heads up about the contest rules that I read in the announcement. In one place, it says the contest maximum is 500 words and in another place it says 600 words. When I checked this one, my word processor counted 509 words. To be on the safe side, you might want to take out nine words.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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I wanted to give you a heads up about the contest rules that I read in the announcement. In one place, it says the contest maximum is 500 words and in another place it says 600 words. When I checked this one, my word processor counted 509 words. To be on the safe side, you might want to take out nine words.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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I have taken your advice. Essay is now under 500 words. Thanks for the heads-up.
Comment from Andi Franklin
I liked this piece.
There are a few grammatical errors you might consider fixing:
- I *think* you intended for it to say "seriously injured" instead of "serious"
- "It seems to make little different to their base" should say "difference"
- "and thus they themselves that daily killings, and mass shootings might be lessened with stronger gun regulations." this sentence is unclear from the word "that" - consider revising.
- "NRA wants then measures" - should be "than"
- "rather they face to face or even voice communication." I think you were trying to say rather "than"
Overall I think this is a piece that has a very strong viewpoint and belief to it. I would love to see the call to action at the end more detailed so that it gives your title more value, so perhaps consider elaborating more on how it is "up to us"
Great job!
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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I liked this piece.
There are a few grammatical errors you might consider fixing:
- I *think* you intended for it to say "seriously injured" instead of "serious"
- "It seems to make little different to their base" should say "difference"
- "and thus they themselves that daily killings, and mass shootings might be lessened with stronger gun regulations." this sentence is unclear from the word "that" - consider revising.
- "NRA wants then measures" - should be "than"
- "rather they face to face or even voice communication." I think you were trying to say rather "than"
Overall I think this is a piece that has a very strong viewpoint and belief to it. I would love to see the call to action at the end more detailed so that it gives your title more value, so perhaps consider elaborating more on how it is "up to us"
Great job!
Comment Written 06-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Thanks so much for the read and the corrections. I will edit.
Comment from Darlene Franklin
You have expressed your viewpoint eloquently. I agree, at least starting with the fact it's our fault be cause we elected him. That scares me more than the sitting president. I've also wondered if he's drawn to dictators because that's the way he;s run his business? In a sense, it's is business model? Doesn't make it right.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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You have expressed your viewpoint eloquently. I agree, at least starting with the fact it's our fault be cause we elected him. That scares me more than the sitting president. I've also wondered if he's drawn to dictators because that's the way he;s run his business? In a sense, it's is business model? Doesn't make it right.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Thanks for the read and comments.
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You're welcome!
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By the way, I made some grammatical corrections.
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Good! I didn't notice them, but thats me. I do proofread my work, and spellcheck, but I frequently have errors. Grr.
