Greeting the Day
A Pantoum Snapshot Poem37 total reviews
Comment from Teri7
This is a very beautiful poem you have penned about greeting the day. You used such good descriptive words that went so well with the art work you chose. If I had six stars you would have had one too! Thanks for sharing. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2019
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This is a very beautiful poem you have penned about greeting the day. You used such good descriptive words that went so well with the art work you chose. If I had six stars you would have had one too! Thanks for sharing. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 08-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2019
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Awww, thank you. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from l.raven
Hi Yvonne, this sounds like when I would stay at my mom and dads house...I would sit on the porch and watch all the critters playing on the land and in the trees...sigh...I love your story/poem...and love this picture...perfect in form...very well written...love you...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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Hi Yvonne, this sounds like when I would stay at my mom and dads house...I would sit on the porch and watch all the critters playing on the land and in the trees...sigh...I love your story/poem...and love this picture...perfect in form...very well written...love you...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 07-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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Thank you for reviewing, Linda.
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your soooo welcome sweet girl...love xxoo
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a nicely composed Pantoum. The image is similar to my house although I have a railing around my front porch and the door is green. I don't get much of a chance to sit in my rocking chair though. Marilyn
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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This is a nicely composed Pantoum. The image is similar to my house although I have a railing around my front porch and the door is green. I don't get much of a chance to sit in my rocking chair though. Marilyn
Comment Written 06-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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It's a shame you don't. I don't spend a lot of time there, but it's nice sometimes. Thank you for reviewing.
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I spend all my time at the atrium door taking photos of the critters in my BACK yard. LOL! Marilyn
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I spend all my time at the atrium door taking photos of the critters in my BACK yard. LOL! Marilyn
Comment from Sally Law
Beautifully penned and illustrated. Your descriptions of the new day shine brightly as your sunny porch.
Sending you my best today and for the challenge.
Sally xo
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Beautifully penned and illustrated. Your descriptions of the new day shine brightly as your sunny porch.
Sending you my best today and for the challenge.
Sally xo
Comment Written 06-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Thank you.
Comment from Pantygynt
This is a lovely little piece but you still haven't got the hang of the twist in the final stanza that should appear as a pair of rhyming couplets:
'While squirrels jump from tree to fence,
we're all awake, let fun commence.
Enjoying fresh and dewy air,
I'm sitting in my rocking chair.'
The fun of this is that it changes the sensense slightly here as it is not the squirrels who are enjoying the 'fresh and dewy air' but you in your rocking chair.
You are lucky here because it can be swapped around without damage to the poem. That won't always be the case. Try to remember this feature of the pantoum form in future.
2nd review.
Yes. That is fine now.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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This is a lovely little piece but you still haven't got the hang of the twist in the final stanza that should appear as a pair of rhyming couplets:
'While squirrels jump from tree to fence,
we're all awake, let fun commence.
Enjoying fresh and dewy air,
I'm sitting in my rocking chair.'
The fun of this is that it changes the sensense slightly here as it is not the squirrels who are enjoying the 'fresh and dewy air' but you in your rocking chair.
You are lucky here because it can be swapped around without damage to the poem. That won't always be the case. Try to remember this feature of the pantoum form in future.
2nd review.
Yes. That is fine now.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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I've changed it. I keep forgetting the sequence changes in the last stanza. Duh! I'll get it straight eventually. I hope.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
My most favoritest part of the day...except for evening, when i get to do it all again! ;) Hate my early teaching days cuz I miss the 'morning shift' ... !! ;) :) Thanx so much for sharing such an amazing vision with a melodic undertone... if I had a six left, ma'am, it would be yours because I can almost 'feel' this one!! ;) :) Take care over there! ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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My most favoritest part of the day...except for evening, when i get to do it all again! ;) Hate my early teaching days cuz I miss the 'morning shift' ... !! ;) :) Thanx so much for sharing such an amazing vision with a melodic undertone... if I had a six left, ma'am, it would be yours because I can almost 'feel' this one!! ;) :) Take care over there! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 05-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Thank you, Yvette. As always, you make me feel so good. Keep it up and I'll have to have my doors altered to accommodate my head. lol
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image,
presentation, and poem.
-The repeating lines are
good, and the imagery is
vivid as you describe what
you observe "sitting in your
rocking chair."
-The poem flows well, too.
-The lines you chose make
for a very good conclusion, too.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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-Very nice image,
presentation, and poem.
-The repeating lines are
good, and the imagery is
vivid as you describe what
you observe "sitting in your
rocking chair."
-The poem flows well, too.
-The lines you chose make
for a very good conclusion, too.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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I'm glad you like it. Thank you.
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You are welcome.
Comment from judiverse
And I'd be in my bed, sleeping. Excellent details about the squirrels. They are such fun to watch. Lovely description of the sun peeking through the treetops. Great use of repeating lines. Lovely thoughts about what you can see from your rocking chair on the porch, if you care to stay up and observe. Your picture works well. It looks like a great place to sit and watch the critters at play. judi
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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And I'd be in my bed, sleeping. Excellent details about the squirrels. They are such fun to watch. Lovely description of the sun peeking through the treetops. Great use of repeating lines. Lovely thoughts about what you can see from your rocking chair on the porch, if you care to stay up and observe. Your picture works well. It looks like a great place to sit and watch the critters at play. judi
Comment Written 05-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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I love sitting there and watching all the action. Thanks, Judi.
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The squirrels and birds can be very entertaining. judi
Comment from lyenochka
What a lovely way to start the morning admiring all the wildlife moving around and liked how you said that the Sun "shadows limbs to look like lace." It's cool that you made shadow into a verb! But later you have "shadow limbs to look like lace" Did you mean to have "shadows" there, too?
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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What a lovely way to start the morning admiring all the wildlife moving around and liked how you said that the Sun "shadows limbs to look like lace." It's cool that you made shadow into a verb! But later you have "shadow limbs to look like lace" Did you mean to have "shadows" there, too?
Comment Written 05-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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I guess I did. lol. Can never tell with me. Thanks for telling me, but I'm going to leave it. 8-)
Comment from Diana L Crawford
This is such a wonderful light and playful offering! I can imagine myself sitting in that rocker enjoying the squirrels running to and fro up and down trees, stopping and looking around and then scurrying to another point to do the same! My grandfather used to just hold his hand out and they would come right up to him! I always found that so amazing! xoxo
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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This is such a wonderful light and playful offering! I can imagine myself sitting in that rocker enjoying the squirrels running to and fro up and down trees, stopping and looking around and then scurrying to another point to do the same! My grandfather used to just hold his hand out and they would come right up to him! I always found that so amazing! xoxo
Comment Written 05-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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My son could get them to come to him, too. I've never tried. Thanks for reviewing.
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It must be something so peaceful about their spirit that the squirrels don?t fear them! xoxo
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It must be something so peaceful about their spirit that the squirrels don?t fear them! xoxo
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I guess so. 8-)
