Soulmate
soulmate8 total reviews
Comment from w.j.debi
Thank you for taking time to explain the roots of your deep faith and where those sprang from. You have certainly had a special angel watching over you during some very perilous times. The bit of history about Romania is interesting. Thank you for sharing it.
You have some missing words here and there throughout the piece, however, the essay is engaging and flows from one story to another rather smoothly so it is hardly noticeable.
Keep writing and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2019
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Thank you for taking time to explain the roots of your deep faith and where those sprang from. You have certainly had a special angel watching over you during some very perilous times. The bit of history about Romania is interesting. Thank you for sharing it.
You have some missing words here and there throughout the piece, however, the essay is engaging and flows from one story to another rather smoothly so it is hardly noticeable.
Keep writing and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind review
Comment from dmt1967
'Suddenly I saw a light above my head, and hand pulled me out of that hot mess. I wake up in ICU, my vision was blurry, and the nurses were running like crazy around me, they were (shooting) something, and were calling the doctor. (shouting)
'I remember once, as a child, (when I was eight grade) I went to camp in the middle of nowhere with other kids. (,in eighth grade,)
'What (I was) thinking? (was I)
On() spur of a moment, trees start running in front of my face as I was tumbling down. (the)
'I had just a few seconds to move out of the way of the stones that for sure were going to bury me (alieve).' (alive)
I was by myself )stacked) in this strange country, as he was visiting his parents back home. (stuck)
This story is good but needs to be rewritten slightly. The writing sounds like an exited child and, in my opinion, if the message isn't clear, your readers won't get the importance of it.
Thank you for sharing and if you need any help drop me a line.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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'Suddenly I saw a light above my head, and hand pulled me out of that hot mess. I wake up in ICU, my vision was blurry, and the nurses were running like crazy around me, they were (shooting) something, and were calling the doctor. (shouting)
'I remember once, as a child, (when I was eight grade) I went to camp in the middle of nowhere with other kids. (,in eighth grade,)
'What (I was) thinking? (was I)
On() spur of a moment, trees start running in front of my face as I was tumbling down. (the)
'I had just a few seconds to move out of the way of the stones that for sure were going to bury me (alieve).' (alive)
I was by myself )stacked) in this strange country, as he was visiting his parents back home. (stuck)
This story is good but needs to be rewritten slightly. The writing sounds like an exited child and, in my opinion, if the message isn't clear, your readers won't get the importance of it.
Thank you for sharing and if you need any help drop me a line.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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Thank you for your review and for pointing out my imperfections:) Have a great day:)
Comment from Spitfire
A clever approach to the theme: there is a Supreme Being who assigns guides of angels to help us in tough days. Good examples and excellent descriptions of each experience.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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A clever approach to the theme: there is a Supreme Being who assigns guides of angels to help us in tough days. Good examples and excellent descriptions of each experience.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind review.
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a very nice essay about your devotion to Mother Mary. I feel that way, too. She is our Mother, after all.
There are some typos within your story where the word used is incorrect. Here is one incidence, but there are others:
"I don't know how, but Mary have a ten (but Mary has a ? sense) sense and she feels when I am in trouble."
Marilyn
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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This is a very nice essay about your devotion to Mother Mary. I feel that way, too. She is our Mother, after all.
There are some typos within your story where the word used is incorrect. Here is one incidence, but there are others:
"I don't know how, but Mary have a ten (but Mary has a ? sense) sense and she feels when I am in trouble."
Marilyn
Comment Written 30-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Thank you for your kind review
Comment from royowen
Jesus is my special soulmate, why go through a disciple when one can go directly to the top, who assigns an angel to you. I like this testimony, it is the best one of all, God Himself is the best soulmate by a country mile, well done. Good luck, Blessings Roy
Typo : But (Marry has a ten sense)? You keep saying that Mary is Marry, but it's Mary.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Jesus is my special soulmate, why go through a disciple when one can go directly to the top, who assigns an angel to you. I like this testimony, it is the best one of all, God Himself is the best soulmate by a country mile, well done. Good luck, Blessings Roy
Typo : But (Marry has a ten sense)? You keep saying that Mary is Marry, but it's Mary.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for clarifying how is correct in English:) we call her Maria:)
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Most welcome
Comment from Alex Rosel
This is a very empathetic story. It's introspective and filled with emotion {smiles}.
Perhaps the main thing that concerns me is you seem to flip between "Marry" and "Mary" as the name of your soulmate. Is this done intentionally? If so, I can't fathom the reason. Just saying...
Here are a couple of points you might like to consider:
The first day my grandparents show me how to pray, -- Spag? Do you mean "showed me" rather than "show me"?
All I remember was me shivering in the operation room. -- Not only is this visual, but it also taps into the sense of touch. Nicely done {smiles}.
Best of luck with the competition {smiles}.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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This is a very empathetic story. It's introspective and filled with emotion {smiles}.
Perhaps the main thing that concerns me is you seem to flip between "Marry" and "Mary" as the name of your soulmate. Is this done intentionally? If so, I can't fathom the reason. Just saying...
Here are a couple of points you might like to consider:
The first day my grandparents show me how to pray, -- Spag? Do you mean "showed me" rather than "show me"?
All I remember was me shivering in the operation room. -- Not only is this visual, but it also taps into the sense of touch. Nicely done {smiles}.
Best of luck with the competition {smiles}.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Thank you a bunch for pointing out my omissions:) I was in a hurry to met that deadline
Comment from Sallyo
This is a lovely and very interesting entry in the contest. Mary is known for her compassion, so it's not surprising she watches over you. The piece needs proof reading though. Mary's name is spelled Marry in lots of places, including the title.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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This is a lovely and very interesting entry in the contest. Mary is known for her compassion, so it's not surprising she watches over you. The piece needs proof reading though. Mary's name is spelled Marry in lots of places, including the title.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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thank you for taking the time and reading my small story
Comment from Patty Palmer
The story of a soulmate is good. It shows that a soul mate can be anyone. Maybe a guardian angel is the soulmate! It sounds like this soul mate often times brought you comfort on many occasions!
Good job!
Patty
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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The story of a soulmate is good. It shows that a soul mate can be anyone. Maybe a guardian angel is the soulmate! It sounds like this soul mate often times brought you comfort on many occasions!
Good job!
Patty
Comment Written 30-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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thank you for taking the time and reading my small story
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You're welcome!
