Almost Scented (Refracting Lens)
Time to be careful with time28 total reviews
Comment from January L'Angelle
I could really care less about the syllable count! I think people worry too much about that and lose sight of the sound that the poem makes. This poem sounds wonderful. It flowed perfectly. I like that you wrote about the senses. I could smell and see exactly what you were talking about. Great job! -January L. :)
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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I could really care less about the syllable count! I think people worry too much about that and lose sight of the sound that the poem makes. This poem sounds wonderful. It flowed perfectly. I like that you wrote about the senses. I could smell and see exactly what you were talking about. Great job! -January L. :)
Comment Written 03-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Thanks January I appreciate your comments and you warm of you. As always, a pleasure and an honor to write with you here.
Blessings,
Brother Badger Cull
Darren
Comment from mermaids
This poem has a smooth musical flow to it, I can hear the words being sung. The mention of lavender adds to the vividness of the poem. "While my inner child hides in a shell of utopian vision" are my favorite two lines, we all have an inner child that sees things differently. Excellent poetic form and a song to be sung here.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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This poem has a smooth musical flow to it, I can hear the words being sung. The mention of lavender adds to the vividness of the poem. "While my inner child hides in a shell of utopian vision" are my favorite two lines, we all have an inner child that sees things differently. Excellent poetic form and a song to be sung here.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Thanks so much mermaids. As always, a pleasure and an honor to write with you here and to received your view with your particular perspective. I really appreciate your support!
Blessings,
Brother Badger Cull
Darren
Comment from Selyob
A beautiful poem.
I like that it is not a three line race to the finish, but dares to stroll through the field of expression, slowly weaving its way to the destination.
I would like to have seen the rhythm perfected, the wording more smooth in its transitions, and the overall flow more smooth.
Beyond these, I think it is simply grand.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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A beautiful poem.
I like that it is not a three line race to the finish, but dares to stroll through the field of expression, slowly weaving its way to the destination.
I would like to have seen the rhythm perfected, the wording more smooth in its transitions, and the overall flow more smooth.
Beyond these, I think it is simply grand.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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thank you so much I really appreciate your comments and suggestions will take them into consideration. A pleasure and an honor to write with you here, I really appreciate your helpful suggestions.
Blessings,
Brother Badger Cull
Darren
Comment from jake cosmos aller
liked it despite the odd rhymes and rhythm or perhaps because of it in any event tells a tale of walking in a garden and being there amid the beauty of nature finding one's inner soul well done
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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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liked it despite the odd rhymes and rhythm or perhaps because of it in any event tells a tale of walking in a garden and being there amid the beauty of nature finding one's inner soul well done
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Thanks for your comments Jake I really appreciate your input.
Warmly,
Brother Badger Cull
Darten
Comment from A. Louise Robertson
How perfectly lovely, the thought of being reincarnated as a perfect rose, to be enjoyed for its wonderful scent and incomparable beauty.
I enjoyed this poem very much and want to say thank you for sharing it with all of us.
I have just one small suggestion, if that's ok, only because it might be a distraction to some. The lines: (If not, I would be crying, as soon I will be dyeing) - should be "dying."
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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How perfectly lovely, the thought of being reincarnated as a perfect rose, to be enjoyed for its wonderful scent and incomparable beauty.
I enjoyed this poem very much and want to say thank you for sharing it with all of us.
I have just one small suggestion, if that's ok, only because it might be a distraction to some. The lines: (If not, I would be crying, as soon I will be dyeing) - should be "dying."
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much A. LouiseRobertson,I really appreciate your comments and especially appreciate the help with the typo.
Warmly,
Brother Badger Cull
Darten
Comment from royowen
Isn't it amazing when one has hope? There are no tomorrows, just eternal nows, hope is grounded in the here and now, it lies at one's feet. Buck up, one's image lies at one's feet. Well done, blessings, Roy
Typo: soon I will be (dyeing) one dyes clothes, dying? 2: (Penzance) penance?
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Isn't it amazing when one has hope? There are no tomorrows, just eternal nows, hope is grounded in the here and now, it lies at one's feet. Buck up, one's image lies at one's feet. Well done, blessings, Roy
Typo: soon I will be (dyeing) one dyes clothes, dying? 2: (Penzance) penance?
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Thanks for your warm, as I always appreciate your input very much.
And the word is penance,
pen·ance
/ˈpenəns/
Learn to pronounce
noun
1.
voluntary self-punishment inflicted as an outward expression of repentance for having done wrong.
"he had done public penance for those hasty words"
Similar:
atonement
expiation
self-punishment
self-mortification
self-abasement
reparation
amends
penalty
punishment
atone
make up
redeem oneself
pay the penalty
pay
recompense
pay the price
expiate
redress
compensate
2.
a Christian sacrament in which a member of the Church confesses sins to a priest and is given absolution.
verbARCHAIC
impose a penance on.
"a hair shirt to penance him for his folly in offending"
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It?s just you spelt it with a double P. My friend, and I know what it means dear boy.
Comment from Janet Foor
A thought provoking piece that covers a lot of territory and time. You make a compelling point that this is definitely a time to be careful with time.
I enjoyed the read.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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A thought provoking piece that covers a lot of territory and time. You make a compelling point that this is definitely a time to be careful with time.
I enjoyed the read.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Thanks so much Janet I appreciate your comments.
Blessings,
Brother Badger Cull
Darren
Comment from Mary Furlong
Few poets can make so much sense of scents. This is an intriguing piece whose many images should be contemplated at length. I had no trouble with your unusual rhythm; it seemed to go with this contemplative poem.
Note: Check the spelling of dyeing. I think you mean 'dying.' 'Dying is the gerund form of die. Dyeing is the gerund form of dye - to change he color of something.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Few poets can make so much sense of scents. This is an intriguing piece whose many images should be contemplated at length. I had no trouble with your unusual rhythm; it seemed to go with this contemplative poem.
Note: Check the spelling of dyeing. I think you mean 'dying.' 'Dying is the gerund form of die. Dyeing is the gerund form of dye - to change he color of something.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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You so much Mary I really appreciate your comments and love your play on words with sense of cents!
Blessings,
Brother Badger Cull
Darren
Comment from gramalot8
Thank you for sharing this beautiful and insightful poem. Your words are very descriptive. I loved the thoughts of his transition Into a beautiful rose. Thanks for sharing this with us today.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Thank you for sharing this beautiful and insightful poem. Your words are very descriptive. I loved the thoughts of his transition Into a beautiful rose. Thanks for sharing this with us today.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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And thank you so much for your warm comments and review, I appreciate your perspective.
Blessings,
Brother Badger Cull
Darren
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This creatively composed, thought-provoking piece is a lovely, moving blend of past, present, and anticipated future--an appealing mix of literal and figurative phrasing. ("Dyeing" should be "dying." "Incomplete" doesn't need a "d.")
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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This creatively composed, thought-provoking piece is a lovely, moving blend of past, present, and anticipated future--an appealing mix of literal and figurative phrasing. ("Dyeing" should be "dying." "Incomplete" doesn't need a "d.")
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much for your comments appreciate the time you take and your help with the typo. On a side note, I wasn't real happy with that line that whole stanza because it was awkward so I think I'm going to go back and edit.
Thanks so much for your input.
Blessings,
Brother Badger Cull
Darren
