Couple Tried Cuddling
5-7-5 entry16 total reviews
Comment from NickieT
I love this. How such a piece of furniture could have earned the title, "love seat" is beyond me. I think that short form really helps to highlight clever insights. "Yoga could have helped," love it.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2019
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I love this. How such a piece of furniture could have earned the title, "love seat" is beyond me. I think that short form really helps to highlight clever insights. "Yoga could have helped," love it.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2019
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Nickie
Glad you found this one. Methinks it is typical of my eclectic 5-7-5s. Pleased with your comments and stars too. Without the French accents, that chair was also 'tete a tete.'
Mark
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written three-line poem about the Victorian furniture style that make sure lovers do not come closer to one another than only cuddling and nothing more.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2019
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A very well-written three-line poem about the Victorian furniture style that make sure lovers do not come closer to one another than only cuddling and nothing more.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2019
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Sandra,
In those restrictive clothes of the Victorian age, cuddling would be further inhibited by sitting in this chair (-;
Mark
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for the laughs and reinforcing picture. Your addition of alliteration added to the appeal of this 5-7-5. Best wishes in the 3-Line Poem Contest- Joan
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Thank you for the laughs and reinforcing picture. Your addition of alliteration added to the appeal of this 5-7-5. Best wishes in the 3-Line Poem Contest- Joan
Comment Written 29-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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thanks Joan!
The last line could be:
"Twister" anyone?
pleased you liked it
mark
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This made me smile and my father made one of these chairs and it was passed down to my daughter. It is an amazing love seat as you actually face your lover and I think yoga would definitely help too! He he he, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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This made me smile and my father made one of these chairs and it was passed down to my daughter. It is an amazing love seat as you actually face your lover and I think yoga would definitely help too! He he he, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 29-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Dolly,
A wonderful chair your daughter has now. Did she often face her lover too? Hahah
Methinks my last line might have been:
"Twister" anyone?
Thanks anyway for your review.
Mark
Comment from Dihalia
I liked your poem. Its creative and funny. I liked the picture, its perfect for the poem. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes and I hope to keep reading more of your work.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2019
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I liked your poem. Its creative and funny. I liked the picture, its perfect for the poem. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes and I hope to keep reading more of your work.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2019
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Dihalia,
So pleased you enjoyed this post. It is most typical of my eclectic 5-7-5 style. Longer verse is not in my poetic wheelhouse. I do aspire to compose more traditional Haiku, which is more challenging than the 5-7-5 just posted. If you are interested in the same, you may visit theHaikuFoundation.org website. I consider their posts to be more traditional style Haiku and not the FanStory or English language version of 5-7-5.
Hopefully, you will review other posts by me. (-:
Mark
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Thank you!
Comment from Barbaraj1
Very cute poem. You have a very creative mind and this poem is
very unique. The last line took me by surprise and gave me a chuckle.
The picture helped to see what a couple would have to go through
on a Victorian love seat.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2019
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Very cute poem. You have a very creative mind and this poem is
very unique. The last line took me by surprise and gave me a chuckle.
The picture helped to see what a couple would have to go through
on a Victorian love seat.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2019
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Barbara,
Life was not easy in the Victorian era for many persons. My guess is this chair was only found in well to do homes. It is likely these same families had arranged marriages. So their first meeting may have happened on this chair.
Mark
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Such a funny story on a Victorian chair. But you said it better than any of my comments: "ouple tried cuddling
on Victorian love seat -
yoga could have help" thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2019
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Such a funny story on a Victorian chair. But you said it better than any of my comments: "ouple tried cuddling
on Victorian love seat -
yoga could have help" thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2019
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I liked my last line, but one of my FS friends thought: "Twister" anyone? was a funny alternative. I was aware of that chair, but had never seen the same in anyone's home. But then again, we don't live in that Victorian era. (-;
Thanks for your good wishes.
Comment from Michele Harber
What a clever poem, Mark. Your funny last line, of course, inspired me to think of punchlines of my own: ... "two contortionists?" "Can we say 'back sprain?'" Of course, the perfect punchline would have required different syllable restrictions: "Ouch!!!" Kidding aside, you did a very good job, and I wish you luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
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What a clever poem, Mark. Your funny last line, of course, inspired me to think of punchlines of my own: ... "two contortionists?" "Can we say 'back sprain?'" Of course, the perfect punchline would have required different syllable restrictions: "Ouch!!!" Kidding aside, you did a very good job, and I wish you luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
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M
Two contortionists would work! Should I edit? Back sprain needs a few extra syllables - equally inventive! If the couple were already lovers, your suggestions would work better. I presume their relationship has not gone that far. I am sure you could write a fiction piece about this couple on that Victorian seat. Hahah!
Mark
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"Two contortionists should work" sounds like the start of an old Vaudeville joke. Of course, "Two contortionists walk into a bar" sounds better. By the way, "Can we say 'back sprain?'" was the full phrase, so it had the correct number of syllables. Forget "Galapagos 5-0." You and I are going to collaborate on the "Couple Tried Cuddling on Victorian Love Seat Joke Book." Actually, here's the perfect end line:
Couple tried cuddling
on Victorian love seat
"Twister," anyone?
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Mark, I enjoyed the humor in this one. First time I read it, I almost got "yoda could have helped".
Nice alliteration in that first line.
The second line leaves out "a", and it's noticeable. "Cuddling" infers "love", so perhaps "love" sin't needed in the second line. Then you could add the "a" to fix the flow.
(couple tried cuddling
on a Victorian chair -
yoga could have helped)
and if you think "love" should be in there somewhere, how about this?
(lovers tried cuddling
on a Victorian chair -
yoga could have helped)
Good Luck in the contest!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2019
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Hi Mark, I enjoyed the humor in this one. First time I read it, I almost got "yoda could have helped".
Nice alliteration in that first line.
The second line leaves out "a", and it's noticeable. "Cuddling" infers "love", so perhaps "love" sin't needed in the second line. Then you could add the "a" to fix the flow.
(couple tried cuddling
on a Victorian chair -
yoga could have helped)
and if you think "love" should be in there somewhere, how about this?
(lovers tried cuddling
on a Victorian chair -
yoga could have helped)
Good Luck in the contest!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 26-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2019
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KimBob,
THANK YOU for your excellent critique and suggestions. You make valid criticisms for my 5-7-5 post. BTW ... I really dislike using those small adjectives. The 'a' probably does make it flow better. Yoda probably agrees with you.
Given your comments, I looked again at the pictures and definitions for my chair. As such, I will edit it to 'love seat.'
In Victorian times, my guess is that many marriages were often arranged. So on some of the first occasions of couples sitting on this chair, they likely were not yet lovers. So that was my reasoning for choosing 'couple.'
I only wish that you could sit over my shoulder as I compose my short verses. Your ideas are spot on.
Mark
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I'm only too happy to help if I can, Mark.
Comment from Gail Denham
Can you imagine getting tangled in THAT chair - must have looked strange at times - but on the other hand, couples need to know each other better before getting too close. Right? This chair would help
nice poem
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Can you imagine getting tangled in THAT chair - must have looked strange at times - but on the other hand, couples need to know each other better before getting too close. Right? This chair would help
nice poem
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Gail,
On the first date in her/his parents' home, it would be A-OK. THANKS for your review of my humorous 5-7-5.
Mark
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Gail,
On the first date in her/his parents' home, it would be A-OK. THANKS for your review of my humorous 5-7-5.
Mark
