haiku (speedy hummingbird)
haiku (sixteen syllables)31 total reviews
Comment from aanneee
Super entry for the Haiku contest entry, and besides word perfect, picture perfect as well...super choice you made for this gem of yours. Here is wishing you luck in the contest...Dinah
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
  |
Super entry for the Haiku contest entry, and besides word perfect, picture perfect as well...super choice you made for this gem of yours. Here is wishing you luck in the contest...Dinah
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
-
Thank you
Comment from Sallyo
Nice one! Using the short line at the end lets it become a pithy comment. I didn't know these could have different line lengths from the expected 5-7-5. Grabs on the fly also works well with fast food.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
|
Nice one! Using the short line at the end lets it become a pithy comment. I didn't know these could have different line lengths from the expected 5-7-5. Grabs on the fly also works well with fast food.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
-
Thank you. Yes, haiku can be 17 syllables or under. The trick is the haiku must be short/long/short. Thank you for the lovely review.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice image and
presentation, Val.
-The syllable count is good,
and you have met the
requirements for a good haiku.
-Effective nature and
seasonal imagery.
-We can picture the
hummingbird getting
nectar even without the picture.
-A good satori line, too.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
|
-Nice image and
presentation, Val.
-The syllable count is good,
and you have met the
requirements for a good haiku.
-Effective nature and
seasonal imagery.
-We can picture the
hummingbird getting
nectar even without the picture.
-A good satori line, too.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
-
Thank you for the excellent review, and the time you took to write it.
-
You are very welcome.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Hi, Val. This is a great haiku. Years ago, I wrote one that also referred to fast food. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
|
Hi, Val. This is a great haiku. Years ago, I wrote one that also referred to fast food. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
-
Thank you, Debbie.
Comment from Lance S. Loria
I like it. I like hummingbirds too. I'm trying to learn haiku and senryu. I'd appreciate your review (formal or informal). Hopefully without killing my rating. LoL. In any event, nice work and good luck in the contest for 2nd or 3rd place...I'm entering a poem and fantasize about first place. LoL.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
|
I like it. I like hummingbirds too. I'm trying to learn haiku and senryu. I'd appreciate your review (formal or informal). Hopefully without killing my rating. LoL. In any event, nice work and good luck in the contest for 2nd or 3rd place...I'm entering a poem and fantasize about first place. LoL.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
-
What's the name of your haiku???? I looked at your site and it wasn't quite clear to me. If I don't like it, I won't review it. How's that for fair, as it was kind of you to review mine without "play money" involved. I don't dream of any "place" in this contest, but I know in my heart I have written a decent haiku. I write all Japanese Short form poetry, but this site has become hopeless at recognizing real JSF writing. None the less, thank you for the review.
-
the hungry lizard
Thanks!
Comment from juliaSjames
Clever word play adds a nuance to this vivid haiku. The artwork is attractive but the mental picture is even better since it depicts exactly how hummers flit from flower to flower.
Good luck in the contest.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
 |
Clever word play adds a nuance to this vivid haiku. The artwork is attractive but the mental picture is even better since it depicts exactly how hummers flit from flower to flower.
Good luck in the contest.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 21-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
-
Thank you, Julia, I really needed this "exceptional" As I have been arguing with the Fanstory base, about the fairness about judgement and equality. This has been a special review for me
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have made excellent use of all of your syllables is this lovely haiku
about one of the most amazing creatures God made. I love to watch and hear them.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
|
You have made excellent use of all of your syllables is this lovely haiku
about one of the most amazing creatures God made. I love to watch and hear them.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
-
Thank you for the lovely review
Comment from Mark D. R.
Val,
I support your long short long and 16 syllabled format so I am OK with your Haiku post. Do prefer centering text as you did for this type of poem. IMHO, if you increase the font size, it will make for a better presentation for future reviewers (-:
Yep, that speedy birdie gets its 'nectar to go' each time. Its 'take out' is free too!
Great illustration to accompany your entry.
Good luck in the voting.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
|
Val,
I support your long short long and 16 syllabled format so I am OK with your Haiku post. Do prefer centering text as you did for this type of poem. IMHO, if you increase the font size, it will make for a better presentation for future reviewers (-:
Yep, that speedy birdie gets its 'nectar to go' each time. Its 'take out' is free too!
Great illustration to accompany your entry.
Good luck in the voting.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
-
Thank you for this lovely review. I have no idea about FONT. I have tried and failed. I appreciate your support.
-
Try in the advanced editor mode when you review. Just highlight text, select size, and presto you will increase the appearance.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your contest entry, Val. Good job with its presentation--love the color scheme, the beautiful picture, the word choices, and the elements of haiku. Your satori is great. I could picture this as I read it--even if a picture wasn't included. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Respectfully with Admiration. Jan
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
|
I enjoyed your contest entry, Val. Good job with its presentation--love the color scheme, the beautiful picture, the word choices, and the elements of haiku. Your satori is great. I could picture this as I read it--even if a picture wasn't included. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Respectfully with Admiration. Jan
Comment Written 21-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
-
Thank you, Jan, as respect your opinion on haiku.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
This is really good and I like this. I love hummingbirds. I think that you've got it exactly right. They move so fast and seem to be in such a hurry that it seems that they are doing a drive by to get fast food. I like this Val and enjoyed reading this well written work. Great job and well done!
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
|
This is really good and I like this. I love hummingbirds. I think that you've got it exactly right. They move so fast and seem to be in such a hurry that it seems that they are doing a drive by to get fast food. I like this Val and enjoyed reading this well written work. Great job and well done!
Comment Written 21-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
-
Thank you for this lovely review. They are so rare.
