Pushed Too Far
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Fight to Survive"Shocking news sends Jeremy over the edge.
16 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I like your use of the literary technique of stream of consciousness. This technique draws the reader in. They feel they have a private chair within the scene in the character's mind. Your description is so vivid that the reader will viscerally experience the pain of the characters. You've created just enough tension to keep the reader's attention. I like how you kept us a little in suspense when the stranger cane on the scene. There was even a moment where we wondered if things might actually get into a more dangerous and uncomfortable for Jeremy. A fun surprise ending.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2019
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I like your use of the literary technique of stream of consciousness. This technique draws the reader in. They feel they have a private chair within the scene in the character's mind. Your description is so vivid that the reader will viscerally experience the pain of the characters. You've created just enough tension to keep the reader's attention. I like how you kept us a little in suspense when the stranger cane on the scene. There was even a moment where we wondered if things might actually get into a more dangerous and uncomfortable for Jeremy. A fun surprise ending.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2019
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I'm so honored that you took the time to read so far back in the story. Thank you so much. That in itself means the world to me. Thank you for such an encouraging review. I'm so glad you can relate to my characters. Jeremy and Jessica are very sweet, just sadly misunderstood. The outcasts I guess you'd say.
Thank you again for all your wonderful reviews. It means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from KatyM
Alright Jeremy! hehe Love it! So he meets his father and doesn't even know it's his Dad? That would be wild. Question is what is he going to do now? He wants to save Jessica but he can't shoot Paul that wouldn't be good. This is getting exciting! Didn't see anything that needed to be fixed. How are you doing? ttyl
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2019
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Alright Jeremy! hehe Love it! So he meets his father and doesn't even know it's his Dad? That would be wild. Question is what is he going to do now? He wants to save Jessica but he can't shoot Paul that wouldn't be good. This is getting exciting! Didn't see anything that needed to be fixed. How are you doing? ttyl
Comment Written 24-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your great review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. You're the only one that caught that about Barry. Jeremy isn't the one who saves her from Paul. You'll have to read the next chapter to find out who it is, lol.
I'm fine thanks for asking. I do hope you're doing well.
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship. It means the world to me, take care.
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I love being able to talk to you back and forth. You are the only one that I really talk to on here.
Comment from Sylvia Page
I wonder what the two goons were planning on doing to stop Jeremy from reporting the matter. Jeremy was extremely lucky to have someone help him in the nick of time. That was a good hook to end this chapter.
Best,
Sylvia
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
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I wonder what the two goons were planning on doing to stop Jeremy from reporting the matter. Jeremy was extremely lucky to have someone help him in the nick of time. That was a good hook to end this chapter.
Best,
Sylvia
Comment Written 23-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your second marvelous review. I'm honored that you decided to continue with the story. Luckily, Jeremy didn't have to find out. Hopefully, his luck will hold out when he confronts Paul. And the guy who saved him, Barry, he has some life-changing information to tell Jeremy.
Thank you again for such a terrific review, you not only made my week, but you also made my month, take care.
Comment from Dihalia
I like your story. Its well told. I like the emotions that you described as how well you described them. It was all understood, no rambling. I would have liked to continue reading, guess who knows how to make a stop.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
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I like your story. Its well told. I like the emotions that you described as how well you described them. It was all understood, no rambling. I would have liked to continue reading, guess who knows how to make a stop.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'll be posting a new chapter this weekend, I hope to see you there.
Thank you again for such a kind review. It's greatly appreciated, take care.
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Thank you. Looking forward to.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Oh my. How nice Jeremy has someone to rescue him or he may not have come out of this alive. And now to save Jessica from the evil Paul. Looking forward to seeing what happens next. Rox
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
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Oh my. How nice Jeremy has someone to rescue him or he may not have come out of this alive. And now to save Jessica from the evil Paul. Looking forward to seeing what happens next. Rox
Comment Written 22-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your review.I'm glad you enjoyed it. There's more to Barry than just him being Jeremy's rescuer. Stay tuned to find out what.
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship. It means the world to me. Take care.
Comment from Gail Denham
Well, you've ended that on a cliff-hanger. Exciting story - the skipping in the middle was a bit confusing. You skip from the girl tied up - into the boy being bound and beaten. Maybe a short transition.
Good story.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
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Well, you've ended that on a cliff-hanger. Exciting story - the skipping in the middle was a bit confusing. You skip from the girl tied up - into the boy being bound and beaten. Maybe a short transition.
Good story.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Sorry that it left you confused. I do have a question about the transition. There is a little there, a description of the people, setting, would it help if I added more? What else do you suggest?
Thank you again for your great review. I do hope you come back and see how Paul's and Jeremy's faceoff ends. If Jeremy can save his girl. Take care
Comment from Ulla
Wow, Misty this is full of action and I'm glad that Jeremy has been freed and is now confronting Paul. But what now?
I found a couple of things.
Her battered body lays helplessly = ... lies helplessly
"He barely acknowledged me, afterword. = ..., afterwards.
All best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
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Wow, Misty this is full of action and I'm glad that Jeremy has been freed and is now confronting Paul. But what now?
I found a couple of things.
Her battered body lays helplessly = ... lies helplessly
"He barely acknowledged me, afterword. = ..., afterwards.
All best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 21-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your encouraging review, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for catching my mistakes. I thought it should be acknowledges but words said I was wrong. Technology is only so good, I guess.
Thank you again for all your help support and friendship it means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from royowen
An exciting development from what it started out from, Paul has done the wrong thing by Jessica, I think they call it date rape, a most contemptible man is Paul, the similar events are happening to Jeremy, but he's conveniently rescued, is given a torch and a gun, breaking the door down, responding to Jessica's call, he points a gun at Paul, will justice be served? Well done, lots of action, well done, blessings, Roy
Typo : He's all for souther(n) justice..
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
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An exciting development from what it started out from, Paul has done the wrong thing by Jessica, I think they call it date rape, a most contemptible man is Paul, the similar events are happening to Jeremy, but he's conveniently rescued, is given a torch and a gun, breaking the door down, responding to Jessica's call, he points a gun at Paul, will justice be served? Well done, lots of action, well done, blessings, Roy
Typo : He's all for souther(n) justice..
Comment Written 20-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
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Thank you, my friend, for your kind review and for catching my mistake. As furious as Jeremy is, I'm afraid he's about to go postal on the punks.
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship. It always means a lot to me, take care.
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Well done
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Mistydawn
I read how Jeremy and Jessica fought to stay alive and I will say there wasn't any part of your writing that I didn't like.
Gert
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
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Hello Mistydawn
I read how Jeremy and Jessica fought to stay alive and I will say there wasn't any part of your writing that I didn't like.
Gert
Comment Written 20-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
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Well hi again. I hope you're well. Thank you so much for your sweet review. I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter. As angry as Jeremy is, I feel sorry for anyone who gets in his way.
Thank you again for all your support and your friendship. It means the world to me, take care.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Jeremy has been saved now and given a gun. He arrived at the cabin in time for he can hear Jessica crying for help.
I hope he is watching his back so he doesn't become a victim again. Well done and very exciting. I didn't notice any spags. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
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Jeremy has been saved now and given a gun. He arrived at the cabin in time for he can hear Jessica crying for help.
I hope he is watching his back so he doesn't become a victim again. Well done and very exciting. I didn't notice any spags. Nancy:)
Comment Written 20-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
You're right, it could get ugly for Jeremy real quick. Hopefully, he'll get the girl and go.
Thank you again for your kind review, all your support and encouragement. It means a lot to me, take care.
