Pebbles in a stream
Those simple times we just toss away a chance to do it diffe42 total reviews
Comment from estory
What I liked about this was how you created that overwhelming sense of being caught in the frustrations of sin as you throw those pebbles into the steam incessantly. It also gave the poem an echoing music. we can't seem to help ourselves in life; that's why we need the grace of Christ to overcome that dam we've built up in the stream of life. estory
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
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What I liked about this was how you created that overwhelming sense of being caught in the frustrations of sin as you throw those pebbles into the steam incessantly. It also gave the poem an echoing music. we can't seem to help ourselves in life; that's why we need the grace of Christ to overcome that dam we've built up in the stream of life. estory
Comment Written 17-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
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I am so pleased the poem flowed and resonated, it is so encouraging and thank you.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This piece is so creatively-written and moving. The examples you included
are excellent. Two things: (!) Why would a person regret sharing his/her being in pain ("spoke pain-filled words")? Do you mean speaking words that cause OTHERS pain? (2) "drank one to many"--"too" is needed.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
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This piece is so creatively-written and moving. The examples you included
are excellent. Two things: (!) Why would a person regret sharing his/her being in pain ("spoke pain-filled words")? Do you mean speaking words that cause OTHERS pain? (2) "drank one to many"--"too" is needed.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
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Thank you for pushing the question and focusing my need for clarity and correction.
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:-)
Comment from tfawcus
The idea behind this is compelling. Your pebbles make a fine metaphor for the way one can gradually dam the flow of one's life and love by small, thoughtless actions that, in themselves, sometimes seem to be insignificant.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
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The idea behind this is compelling. Your pebbles make a fine metaphor for the way one can gradually dam the flow of one's life and love by small, thoughtless actions that, in themselves, sometimes seem to be insignificant.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
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Thank for your comments I am glad my piece was a resonating read for you.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
This poem certainly evokes thought and makes us wonder about our indifference to the important things we may have MISSED because we tend to overlook so many of our actions. Very well done! I love the picture of the accumulated tossed pebbles.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
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This poem certainly evokes thought and makes us wonder about our indifference to the important things we may have MISSED because we tend to overlook so many of our actions. Very well done! I love the picture of the accumulated tossed pebbles.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
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Thank you, I am pleased my effort were a reading that evoked thought and wonder.
Comment from Gail Denham
This would produce amazing results. I was told years ago that our life time is recorded in God's book - when we get to heaven, we shall see the film of our life - but only the good parts will show - there will be a lot of blank tape.
Good peom
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
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This would produce amazing results. I was told years ago that our life time is recorded in God's book - when we get to heaven, we shall see the film of our life - but only the good parts will show - there will be a lot of blank tape.
Good peom
Comment Written 17-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
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Thank you.th
Comment from Teri7
This is a very good poem you have penned about every time we do something we shouldn't do we throw a pebble in life's stream. I think that is a great idea. Great words and lovely imagery. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
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This is a very good poem you have penned about every time we do something we shouldn't do we throw a pebble in life's stream. I think that is a great idea. Great words and lovely imagery. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 16-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
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Thank you I?m glad it resonated for you
Comment from Susan X Smith
This is an interesting concept with a well-chosen picture to back it up. It is something I have never heard before. I especially liked the final couplet. Keep writing poetry.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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This is an interesting concept with a well-chosen picture to back it up. It is something I have never heard before. I especially liked the final couplet. Keep writing poetry.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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Thank you and I will:)
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello JLR. The metaphor of pebbles being tossed into the stream is very effective because they represent actions we take that often are treated as pebbles. We pay little attention to them because they are little acts that may have lasting effects. Well written. Robert
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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Hello JLR. The metaphor of pebbles being tossed into the stream is very effective because they represent actions we take that often are treated as pebbles. We pay little attention to them because they are little acts that may have lasting effects. Well written. Robert
Comment Written 16-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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Thanks Robert
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You're welcome.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Such a beautifully-crafted vision and one that could certainly be put in a pamphlet or the like for distribution or on a wall in full color with an awesome mural to accompany it -- just wonderful! ;) Thanx for sharing such a vivid image of what words and attitudes can do throughout the course of a lifetime! ;)
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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Such a beautifully-crafted vision and one that could certainly be put in a pamphlet or the like for distribution or on a wall in full color with an awesome mural to accompany it -- just wonderful! ;) Thanx for sharing such a vivid image of what words and attitudes can do throughout the course of a lifetime! ;)
Comment Written 16-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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My sincere and glad thank you.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow this is so beautiful, you mange to turn every sin at the end into a love. I like how you describe that every time we do something not right, you throw a pebble. The conclusion of your poem is amazing :"If every time you turned your back on God,
You threw a pebble into life's stream.
Then just stare, in utter amazement,
when you come near the end of your journey
the expanse of the dam your pebbles built.
The lifetime of seemingly little pebbles
that prevented the flow of life's precious
Love ......for some other,
Love withheld, restrained, contained,
the many pebbles thrown into life's stream.
The lifetime of seemingly little pebbles
that prevented the flow of life's precious
Love ......for some other,
Love withheld, restrained, contained,
the many pebbles thrown into life's stream."
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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Wow this is so beautiful, you mange to turn every sin at the end into a love. I like how you describe that every time we do something not right, you throw a pebble. The conclusion of your poem is amazing :"If every time you turned your back on God,
You threw a pebble into life's stream.
Then just stare, in utter amazement,
when you come near the end of your journey
the expanse of the dam your pebbles built.
The lifetime of seemingly little pebbles
that prevented the flow of life's precious
Love ......for some other,
Love withheld, restrained, contained,
the many pebbles thrown into life's stream.
The lifetime of seemingly little pebbles
that prevented the flow of life's precious
Love ......for some other,
Love withheld, restrained, contained,
the many pebbles thrown into life's stream."
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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My most sincere thank you and your gift of such a special rating is so humbling..
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You are welcome:)
