Do They Return?
Are there really ghosts?7 total reviews
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
I know what would have happened if it were me. I would have vacated the premises after encountering the specter. I probably wouldn't have came back either. I like what you've presented here and enjoyed reading this well written work. Well done!
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
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I know what would have happened if it were me. I would have vacated the premises after encountering the specter. I probably wouldn't have came back either. I like what you've presented here and enjoyed reading this well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 17-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
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Thanks much for your read and comments. I don't think I would have stuck around either.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello fellow poet, I enjoyed your flash fiction story. Though it is hard to tell a story when restricted by word count, I think you did a good job. You kept me engaged and entertained, nice work!
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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Hello fellow poet, I enjoyed your flash fiction story. Though it is hard to tell a story when restricted by word count, I think you did a good job. You kept me engaged and entertained, nice work!
Comment Written 16-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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Thanks much for your read and review.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a ghostly and terrifying experience and all your senses were in play in this write bringing the scene to our eyes, ears and hearts, an edgy write, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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This is a ghostly and terrifying experience and all your senses were in play in this write bringing the scene to our eyes, ears and hearts, an edgy write, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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Thank you for your read and comments.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Wow - a ghost story at a school...count me out!! ;) :) LOL! A fun offering for this contest -- thank you for sharing! ;)
my ears. "What the --> my ears. [new paragraph here] "What the
myself. I thought I was the last person in the building. --> myself, "I thought I was the last person in the building." [new paragraph starts here]
me a merry Christmas --> me a Merry Christmas
investigate, maybe someone --> investigate; maybe someone OR investigate. Maybe someone
hallway, where the --> hallway where the
situated. Ten years --> situated. [new paragraph here] Ten years
burned to death. Rumors --> burned to death. [delete the new paragraph...should be same] Rumors
vacation. I slowly --> vacation. [new paragraph here] I slowly
arrangement. Again, I --> arrangement. [new paragraph here] Again, I
Then, though the --> Then, through the
again. I grabbed for the --> again. I grabbed the
door. When I --> door. [new paragraph here] When I
quiet, the lab --> quiet; the lab OR quiet. The lab
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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Wow - a ghost story at a school...count me out!! ;) :) LOL! A fun offering for this contest -- thank you for sharing! ;)
my ears. "What the --> my ears. [new paragraph here] "What the
myself. I thought I was the last person in the building. --> myself, "I thought I was the last person in the building." [new paragraph starts here]
me a merry Christmas --> me a Merry Christmas
investigate, maybe someone --> investigate; maybe someone OR investigate. Maybe someone
hallway, where the --> hallway where the
situated. Ten years --> situated. [new paragraph here] Ten years
burned to death. Rumors --> burned to death. [delete the new paragraph...should be same] Rumors
vacation. I slowly --> vacation. [new paragraph here] I slowly
arrangement. Again, I --> arrangement. [new paragraph here] Again, I
Then, though the --> Then, through the
again. I grabbed for the --> again. I grabbed the
door. When I --> door. [new paragraph here] When I
quiet, the lab --> quiet; the lab OR quiet. The lab
Comment Written 16-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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Thank you for the suggestions. I will edit.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements nicely as you deliver a complete story beginning with the appropriate opening statement and within the word count limits. It progresses in a logical manner making it easy to follow. The premise made itself clear with the initial reference to the lab disaster and its casualty. Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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This meets the contest requirements nicely as you deliver a complete story beginning with the appropriate opening statement and within the word count limits. It progresses in a logical manner making it easy to follow. The premise made itself clear with the initial reference to the lab disaster and its casualty. Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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Thank you for your read and review. Much appreciated.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
The author has chosen a predictable site for a long hallway, but other than that the piece supplies a solid story, even if it lacks a little in the wow factor department. Given the wide-range of length allowed, perhaps the author could use a little of the time-limit left to improve on this last point. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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The author has chosen a predictable site for a long hallway, but other than that the piece supplies a solid story, even if it lacks a little in the wow factor department. Given the wide-range of length allowed, perhaps the author could use a little of the time-limit left to improve on this last point. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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Thank you for your read and suggestion. I will certainly consider it.
Comment from Susan X Smith
This story certainly meets the guidelines set forth by the writing prompt. It is very interesting, but since they do give you more length than the typical flash fiction, I would suggest one more twist or turn, like perhaps the custodian comes back and leaves again and then you see the ghost. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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This story certainly meets the guidelines set forth by the writing prompt. It is very interesting, but since they do give you more length than the typical flash fiction, I would suggest one more twist or turn, like perhaps the custodian comes back and leaves again and then you see the ghost. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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Thanks for the suggestion. I will consider.
