Mother
shooting star6 total reviews
Comment from Susan Larson
How I envy that you had such loving, caring mother, treating you intense way a mother should AND should want to . How blessed you are to have your shooting star continuing to bring light into your life.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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How I envy that you had such loving, caring mother, treating you intense way a mother should AND should want to . How blessed you are to have your shooting star continuing to bring light into your life.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much, I thank our God every day for giving me such a precious gem.
Comment from Sandra Montanino
You have written a very emotional story. I like the reference to a shooting star, and a new star. You have a talent and I especially like your first sentence. Keep up the great work.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2019
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You have written a very emotional story. I like the reference to a shooting star, and a new star. You have a talent and I especially like your first sentence. Keep up the great work.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your encouragement. Unfortunately, the committee doesn't like the fact that a human being its a shooting star.
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Well, phooey. I thought it was clever.
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Thank you, and I am not changed it, I am keeping it the way, God, my inspiration told me to write
Comment from Scarbrems
It's a lovely way to think of your mother as a shooting star. This is not a legend I'd heard before, and you told it beautifully. I wish you well in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019
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It's a lovely way to think of your mother as a shooting star. This is not a legend I'd heard before, and you told it beautifully. I wish you well in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind review:)
Comment from Alex Rosel
This is a nice entry for the contest. It is written with a register appropriate for a myth or legend. I enjoyed reading it.
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
The legend says that when God sends a child in this world, it gives him also a shooting Star to rise and care for him. -- If this was mine, I'd change the "it gives him" to "He gives him".
The Earth was inhabited by empty souls: shadows leading another shadow for an eternity. -- I'd change "another shadow" to "other shadows". Although, I'm not sure what you actually mean here, so perhaps "another shadow" fits.
Her blue eyes open as a forget-me-not flower. -- I really like this simile. It's imagery works well {smiles}.
I didn't know what "Dodecatheon" was. I looked it up, and it fits perfectly here, providing a lovely sign-off from the piece {smiles}.
Good luck with the competition {smiles}.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019
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This is a nice entry for the contest. It is written with a register appropriate for a myth or legend. I enjoyed reading it.
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
The legend says that when God sends a child in this world, it gives him also a shooting Star to rise and care for him. -- If this was mine, I'd change the "it gives him" to "He gives him".
The Earth was inhabited by empty souls: shadows leading another shadow for an eternity. -- I'd change "another shadow" to "other shadows". Although, I'm not sure what you actually mean here, so perhaps "another shadow" fits.
Her blue eyes open as a forget-me-not flower. -- I really like this simile. It's imagery works well {smiles}.
I didn't know what "Dodecatheon" was. I looked it up, and it fits perfectly here, providing a lovely sign-off from the piece {smiles}.
Good luck with the competition {smiles}.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your corrections, as always you are the best:) So far my luck with the competitions is the same as trying to win a lottery ticket:(
Comment from royowen
I love this great post, the story ead imaginative and is near to my heart. I think all children are close to God's heart, "suffer the little children to come to me, for such is the kimgdom of God." An excellent post my Friend. Well done. Good luck.blessing Roy.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019
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I love this great post, the story ead imaginative and is near to my heart. I think all children are close to God's heart, "suffer the little children to come to me, for such is the kimgdom of God." An excellent post my Friend. Well done. Good luck.blessing Roy.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind review and encouragements.
Comment from Patty Palmer
Beautifully written! Yes, I too had the best mom and I like that idea of the shooting star. I talk to my mom often. Good job on your short story!
God bless!
Patty
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019
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Beautifully written! Yes, I too had the best mom and I like that idea of the shooting star. I talk to my mom often. Good job on your short story!
God bless!
Patty
Comment Written 10-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind review:)
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You are very welcome
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you're welcome!
