winter
Winter is not fun24 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Iza,
Oh boy, winter is right around the corner, isn't it? I can hardly wait.
I never thought about snowflakes being scared. They are just one of Old Man Winter's tools. He has much more in store for us.
Can I make a couple of suggestions?
Why do you put "slowly" before "comes"? I prefer the other way,
(Winter comes slowly)
And your last line, what do you think of this?
(Snowflakes are scared stiff)
In any case, I enjoyed your poem and the picture. Much luck in the contest!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Hi Iza,
Oh boy, winter is right around the corner, isn't it? I can hardly wait.
I never thought about snowflakes being scared. They are just one of Old Man Winter's tools. He has much more in store for us.
Can I make a couple of suggestions?
Why do you put "slowly" before "comes"? I prefer the other way,
(Winter comes slowly)
And your last line, what do you think of this?
(Snowflakes are scared stiff)
In any case, I enjoyed your poem and the picture. Much luck in the contest!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 11-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind review and for the suggestions:)
Comment from dragonpoet
Thank is a beautiful and peaceful winter landscape that goes with the words. But I never thought of snow flakes as scared of the wind before. Good personification. Too many of them can be very scary to us.
Much luck in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2019
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Thank is a beautiful and peaceful winter landscape that goes with the words. But I never thought of snow flakes as scared of the wind before. Good personification. Too many of them can be very scary to us.
Much luck in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 09-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2019
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Joan, thank you so much for your kind words
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You are most kindly welcome
Joan
Comment from Lulube
good imagery of winter's cold side. not my favorite season. good personification hiding the scared snowflakes as a child will hide when scared. good luck in the contest
lulube
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2019
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good imagery of winter's cold side. not my favorite season. good personification hiding the scared snowflakes as a child will hide when scared. good luck in the contest
lulube
Comment Written 09-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind comments
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welcome
lulube
Comment from Anntonette
What a beautiful haiku! Winter is coming, we got to prepare for those naughty winds and frost in our hair or eyelashes lol. Good luck in the contest!
- Anntonette J
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2019
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What a beautiful haiku! Winter is coming, we got to prepare for those naughty winds and frost in our hair or eyelashes lol. Good luck in the contest!
- Anntonette J
Comment Written 09-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind words.
Comment from June Sargent
We're feeling some of those naughty winds tonight with the hurricane passing by tomorrow! Soon we'll see snowflakes as summer comes to a close. Need those mittens...and boots.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2019
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We're feeling some of those naughty winds tonight with the hurricane passing by tomorrow! Soon we'll see snowflakes as summer comes to a close. Need those mittens...and boots.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2019
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I know, and I am not ready for this.
Comment from royowen
This is quite definitely an Haiku, not everybody knows what they are, the differ from 5/7/5 inas much they're about nature with an aha last line. Well done, an excellent entry, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2019
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This is quite definitely an Haiku, not everybody knows what they are, the differ from 5/7/5 inas much they're about nature with an aha last line. Well done, an excellent entry, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 06-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind words, Mr. Roy🙃
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Welcome Iza
Comment from Patty Palmer
Winter will be coming eventually. Snow drifts higher than the cars. Winds blowing things around blowing snow into your face. Yep~ that would be winter@
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2019
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Winter will be coming eventually. Snow drifts higher than the cars. Winds blowing things around blowing snow into your face. Yep~ that would be winter@
Comment Written 06-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2019
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Thanks, if you don't mind what do I need to improve?
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I didn't mean to imply that you needed to change anything. i'm sorry if I gave you that impression
Patty
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Well the stars says needs improvement
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I have gone back and changed it. Just as I thought it had taken off the stars like I had never marked any. Again I'm sorry
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Thank you:) I want to improve that was my only reason for the clarification. Have a blessed day.
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you too dear!
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Your short verse speaks of winter, snow, wind and snowfakes hiding.
It paints a cool picture, matching the beautiful artwork nicely.
Well done and good luck with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2019
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Your short verse speaks of winter, snow, wind and snowfakes hiding.
It paints a cool picture, matching the beautiful artwork nicely.
Well done and good luck with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 04-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind words
Comment from RodG
I like how you personify winter as a villain scaring snowflakes into hiding. Is it possible for you to characterize "him" more sharply in line 1. For example, does he "stalk" the children (snowflakes)?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2019
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I like how you personify winter as a villain scaring snowflakes into hiding. Is it possible for you to characterize "him" more sharply in line 1. For example, does he "stalk" the children (snowflakes)?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2019
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Thank you
Comment from Mark D. R.
Nice wintry posting. Quite a difference from the torrential rain and winds from the Dorian hurricane that the US eastern coast and the Bahamas suffer from.
The snowflakes are not so terrible in comparison.
Good luck in the contest voting.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2019
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Nice wintry posting. Quite a difference from the torrential rain and winds from the Dorian hurricane that the US eastern coast and the Bahamas suffer from.
The snowflakes are not so terrible in comparison.
Good luck in the contest voting.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2019
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Try -50😉thanks for your kind comments, and I don't like the Dorian option either 🙃stay safe my friend
