Eric's Epic Adventures
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Eric Meets Ellie"Another adventure for Eric
34 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Speaking perfect English?? I can't wait to see what that's about. I am sure it will be interesting. I also can't wait for the Pow Wow. I bet it will be fun. I'm sure Ellie will be happy to get home. Good story.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
  |
Speaking perfect English?? I can't wait to see what that's about. I am sure it will be interesting. I also can't wait for the Pow Wow. I bet it will be fun. I'm sure Ellie will be happy to get home. Good story.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
-
Thank you so much for another of your lovely reviews, Barbara, I'm so pleased you are still enjoying it. Only a couple more parts to go. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello and smiles to you sandramitchell for another adventure with Eric and Herbie. It was fun to read and review.
I will be waiting for another adventure.
Gert
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
|
Hello and smiles to you sandramitchell for another adventure with Eric and Herbie. It was fun to read and review.
I will be waiting for another adventure.
Gert
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
-
Hello, Gert! How lovely to see you. I hope you are well? Yes, another adventure for Eric and Herbie, I have two more parts to go, and that will be this story put to bed. Then he will be off to Ancient Egypt. Such fun! Thank you so much for reading this one, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
-
Hello sandramitchell
Good two more parts to read, I will look foeard to read them.
Gert
-
Hello sandramitchell
Good two more parts to read, I will look foeard to read them.
Gert
Comment from JudyE
Keep writing! Keep writing! I'm not sure I can wait too long to find out what happens. lol
Two very small points, both probably a matter of opinion.
"Pa, oh Pa, I didn't think I'd see you again. Are you taking me home?" her words gushed out in breathless excitement. - I might have used a period for 'her'
"This is Hetiwa, Pa, she's been real nice to me. Look, she did my hair!" Ellie gave a twirl to show him. - period after 'Pa'
Cheers
Judy
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
 |
Keep writing! Keep writing! I'm not sure I can wait too long to find out what happens. lol
Two very small points, both probably a matter of opinion.
"Pa, oh Pa, I didn't think I'd see you again. Are you taking me home?" her words gushed out in breathless excitement. - I might have used a period for 'her'
"This is Hetiwa, Pa, she's been real nice to me. Look, she did my hair!" Ellie gave a twirl to show him. - period after 'Pa'
Cheers
Judy
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
-
Thank you so very much for this helpful review, Judy, I'll go and sort those errors out. Thanks for pointing them out, my friend, and for the lovely six stars!!! Thank was so very kind of you. Big hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is very well done, my friend. It flowed beautifully beginning to end and kept me thoroughly entertained the whole time. Now I am intrigued as to how the Medicine Man knows perfect English and what exactly he has to say. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
|
This is very well done, my friend. It flowed beautifully beginning to end and kept me thoroughly entertained the whole time. Now I am intrigued as to how the Medicine Man knows perfect English and what exactly he has to say. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
-
Aw, thank you so much for this lovely review, my friend. I'm delighted you are still enjoying this story. Not long to go now. Eric is impatient to have this book in his hands. (The real Eric, lol) Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from royowen
What a wonderful story this is Sandra. With that familiar warm, fuzzy feeling one gets when romantics like are enjoying this happy ending to this saga, (although you have cleverly indicated more with a perfect end to this episode Sandra, well done, excellent. With blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
|
What a wonderful story this is Sandra. With that familiar warm, fuzzy feeling one gets when romantics like are enjoying this happy ending to this saga, (although you have cleverly indicated more with a perfect end to this episode Sandra, well done, excellent. With blessings, Roy
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
-
Thank you so much, Roy. I'm hoping Eric will enjoy it. I started to read it to him and he told me I had to finish it first and he would take it to his new school. I guess I'd better be giving him a few copies! They have the first book already because the headteacher was told about it and he ordered a copy. I was so chuffed. I'm so pleased you've enjoyed this one. Just two more parts to go. Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
-
This is really good. As a kid?s book, precious. And the fact you?ve woven Eric into it, a wonderful gesture. Liberty Justice (here on-site) was desperate to sell her books, I told her I?d released two music albums, and never really even made the money back, nor would. , they cost 23:000 dollars, and I have no illusions about my poetry. And your writing is wonderful, but if you were moderately successful you?d be happy, I?m sure! It?s a tough gig, eh, Sandra, you?re idea is similar to mine, at least I?m famous in my own family, and lunchbox,heh heh. But you deserve a break my friend. Blessings, Roy
-
Aw, Roy, yes I'm happy as I am. I enjoy my writing, and if I started going through the grind of trying to find an agent, or a publisher, it would take the joy away. I've sold a few books, earning me enough to catch the bus into town!! Lol. Knowing there are a few people out there who have my book on their table, gives me a thrill. But my main pleasure is seeing Eric's face when he asks me how far I've got, and when will he be able to hold his book, I have immense joy seeing that. He's a special boy, and I love him to bits. I love them all equally, but watching Eric try so hard to read, just gets to me.
Are your 2 music albums on sale on Amazon? That is a huge achievement! And your poetry, Roy, is truly lovely, there is always a moral and a message in your words, that give us purpose. That is another of your achievements. Bless your heart, my friend, and thank you for always being so kind to me. xxx
-
No, not for sale on amazon, although I?ve given a few away here Sandra, like you, I?m not ambitious, discovering what is truly worthwhile is life to me, and, I can see it?s life to you. I like that, enough to catch the bus! Here, for we seniors, it costs nix from 9:00 am to 3.pm, anyway, and nix is about my fortune heh heh. Bless you, you are kind Sandra.
-
Mine too! lol. xxx
-
Ah but rich in love. Likewise lol.
-
On that I can only agree. Nice, isn't it? xx
-
The best dear girl.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Sandra, this is a great continuation to the story. I can understand her fright of Herbie, but the joy of seeing her Dad is so well described. So what is to happen now? Is the medicine man going to put a spanner in the wheel? Can't wait to be reading on.
Marjory and I are now in Asturia at the Picos de Europa. It's beautiful here. Have you ever been? Hugs. Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
|
Hi Sandra, this is a great continuation to the story. I can understand her fright of Herbie, but the joy of seeing her Dad is so well described. So what is to happen now? Is the medicine man going to put a spanner in the wheel? Can't wait to be reading on.
Marjory and I are now in Asturia at the Picos de Europa. It's beautiful here. Have you ever been? Hugs. Ulla xxx
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
-
Hi Ulla, I've just looked up where you are, it does look lovely. I think it's somewhere we'd like to visit sometime in the near future. (it can't be in the distant future, we might not be here!!) How much longer will you be travelling? You're a free woman to come and go as you please, how lovely!!!! Thank you so much for the lovely 6 stars, my friend, and the fabulous review. I've a confession to make, I used my sixes up without realizing it. I'm beginning to wonder if my mind is beginning to play with me. I really do need a break! Have a wonderful rest of your holiday with your friend! xxxx Sandra
-
Hi Sandra, I hope you will be able to see it. Tomorrow, we're going to Santiago de Compostela. I don't think you're l losing it at all. Wink. It's happened to me as well. I'm not back home until mid September. A hug. Ulla xxx
-
You really are having a ball! How wonderful. Enjoy it all while you can, my friend. :)) xx
-
Thanks a lot!! xxx
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow, the family resemblance is amazing, Sandra! That adorable child looks so much like you!
...Herbie told him, etc. = I know, my friend. I have done it many times too, and still do. But I suggest instead ending that sentence simply -- ",...Herbie said. He flew over..."
LOL = "Can we go and get Ellie now before she gets too old?" Your characters, as always, are wonderful, Sandra. I am so sorry I have not been able to take on another novel -- I simply do not have the time to spend here as I once had, and you always manage enough reviewers to keep you in Best ribbons anyway. I've had to stick mainly with poetry and short stories as much as possible . I do wish I could follow this -- it looks delightful!
One more suggestion --
Two independent ideas/verb tenses (e.g. 'told' should be 'telling') here make for confusion -- a run-on sentence too. Much better to make them into two separate sentences -- "into her father's arms. The joy in her eyes and..."
Great ending to compel the reading of the next chapter... :)) (I can't! But I want to... *smile*)
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
|
Wow, the family resemblance is amazing, Sandra! That adorable child looks so much like you!
...Herbie told him, etc. = I know, my friend. I have done it many times too, and still do. But I suggest instead ending that sentence simply -- ",...Herbie said. He flew over..."
LOL = "Can we go and get Ellie now before she gets too old?" Your characters, as always, are wonderful, Sandra. I am so sorry I have not been able to take on another novel -- I simply do not have the time to spend here as I once had, and you always manage enough reviewers to keep you in Best ribbons anyway. I've had to stick mainly with poetry and short stories as much as possible . I do wish I could follow this -- it looks delightful!
One more suggestion --
Two independent ideas/verb tenses (e.g. 'told' should be 'telling') here make for confusion -- a run-on sentence too. Much better to make them into two separate sentences -- "into her father's arms. The joy in her eyes and..."
Great ending to compel the reading of the next chapter... :)) (I can't! But I want to... *smile*)
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
-
Thank you so much, dear Dawn. I have made that correction, it was so kind of you to point that out for me. I know what you mean about finding the time to read, I am struggling too. This story only has two more parts to go. Eric is my dyslexic grandson and starts a special needs school next week to help him. These stories are at his request and even the head-teacher of his new school has bought copies of the first book. I'll be donating copies of this story. So exciting! I can't wait to hear him start reading, he is so desperate to do so. Thanks my friend. :)) Sandra xxxx
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your chapter, Sandra. You did a great job. The picture of your granddaughter is precious. Your words flow well and the story has great detail. My concern is with some of the language Thomas uses. It sounds too modern day British and not like an ol' west died in the wool farmer would speak. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Suggestions (or file 13)
Raising her head to see what was happening, Ellie's misery was straightaway [ British sounding here--maybe immediately ] forgotten as she plunged headlong into terror. Jumping up, she dashed over to Hetiwa and clung onto her arm as if her life depended on it.
"Yes. She's in that tent but wouldn't come with me. You'll have to go in there yourself, Thomas. I don't think she believed me when I said you'd come to take her home," Herbie told him as he flew over to sit on the bike's handlebars. "It's that teepee there over there [ 2 there in 1 sentence--maybe "she;s in the one over there . . .] where Chief Niwot is standing with some of his braves."
"What's up, love?[ I believe Thomas would not have used the word 'love'--maybe darlin']" He followed the direction of her eyes and realised it was Herbie who had unnerved her. "No need to be afeared [ same as before--maybe just 'scared' ] of him, Ellie. He's the one who found you and brought me along to take you home. Him and Eric here."
for a powwow. There will be dancing and food [ a feast ] to honour us."
Herbie didn't have a chance to reply. The Medicine Man had reached them. He stared at Eric for a moment. "When the party [ celebration ] is underway [comma after underway ] you will come with me. We have lots [ much ] to talk about."
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
|
I enjoyed your chapter, Sandra. You did a great job. The picture of your granddaughter is precious. Your words flow well and the story has great detail. My concern is with some of the language Thomas uses. It sounds too modern day British and not like an ol' west died in the wool farmer would speak. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Suggestions (or file 13)
Raising her head to see what was happening, Ellie's misery was straightaway [ British sounding here--maybe immediately ] forgotten as she plunged headlong into terror. Jumping up, she dashed over to Hetiwa and clung onto her arm as if her life depended on it.
"Yes. She's in that tent but wouldn't come with me. You'll have to go in there yourself, Thomas. I don't think she believed me when I said you'd come to take her home," Herbie told him as he flew over to sit on the bike's handlebars. "It's that teepee there over there [ 2 there in 1 sentence--maybe "she;s in the one over there . . .] where Chief Niwot is standing with some of his braves."
"What's up, love?[ I believe Thomas would not have used the word 'love'--maybe darlin']" He followed the direction of her eyes and realised it was Herbie who had unnerved her. "No need to be afeared [ same as before--maybe just 'scared' ] of him, Ellie. He's the one who found you and brought me along to take you home. Him and Eric here."
for a powwow. There will be dancing and food [ a feast ] to honour us."
Herbie didn't have a chance to reply. The Medicine Man had reached them. He stared at Eric for a moment. "When the party [ celebration ] is underway [comma after underway ] you will come with me. We have lots [ much ] to talk about."
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
-
Where would I be without you, Jan? Thank you so much for the help with the dialogue. It's so nice of you to help out like that. I've been in and made the changes. Thanks for a terrific review, my friend. I really appreciate it. Big hugs Sandra xxxx
-
Thank you, Sandra. Many times I make valid suggestions to others about mechanics etc. that they never change when I know I'm right--like spelling etc. It makes me feel great to know that you acknowledge my suggestions--even if you did not change your words. That's ok, but sometime glaring mistakes of others are just left as is. Jan
-
Bless your heart! I made the changes before I replied to you, Jan. I have no idea how the Americans speak, let alone back in those days. My grandson wanted a story about Indians this time, and who am I to refuse?? Lol. But, to do so properly, I needed American Fanstorian's help. And you, my friend, have come through for me. I will always acknowledge you suggestions, and be so grateful. xx
-
I'm not doubting your changes if you make them, Sandra. It just seems so many really don't want help. I enjoy reading your work. Glad the suggestions were helpful. Jan
-
I know, and I just don't understand why they don't want helpful reviews, I thought that was one of the reasons this site is here, for writer's to help each other. Never mind, Jan, just know I'm always happy to receive them! xx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Ellie has been rescued. That is a good thing. I'm sure Eric is proud that they were able to find her. It never would have happened without the help of his friends Gizmo and Herbie. How can it be? The Medicine man spoke perfect English? Well done, Sandra. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
|
Ellie has been rescued. That is a good thing. I'm sure Eric is proud that they were able to find her. It never would have happened without the help of his friends Gizmo and Herbie. How can it be? The Medicine man spoke perfect English? Well done, Sandra. Nancy:)
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
-
Thank you so very much for the lovely six stars, Nancy!!!! I'm delighted you enjoyed this part. Now, how can the Medicine Man speak perfect English? That will have to be found out in the next part. Not much more to go now! Big hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Mistydawn
She's a cutie too. I'm so glad Ellie is with her dad, safe and sound and that Thomas and the Indians are getting along. I am curious to find out what the medicine man wants to discuss. I hope it's nothing bad. Very well done as always.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
|
She's a cutie too. I'm so glad Ellie is with her dad, safe and sound and that Thomas and the Indians are getting along. I am curious to find out what the medicine man wants to discuss. I hope it's nothing bad. Very well done as always.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
-
Thank you so much for the six shiny stars, My friend. That is so kind of you. The Medicine Man's knowledge of the English language is something Eric will be wanting an explanation for. How could that be? Big hugs, my friend.:)) Sandra xx
