Intermezzo at Sea
A fantasy for a lonely man.7 total reviews
Comment from Hitcher
Your contest entry is well written and well expressed, the visuals are strong and come alive in the minds eye as one reads,which is great : ) My only critique would be the passion or lack of it... No kiss, touch, whisper, wanting, craving, hunger... heat! These are of course just my thoughts friend and not meant to offend : )) I love sensual poetry!
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
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Your contest entry is well written and well expressed, the visuals are strong and come alive in the minds eye as one reads,which is great : ) My only critique would be the passion or lack of it... No kiss, touch, whisper, wanting, craving, hunger... heat! These are of course just my thoughts friend and not meant to offend : )) I love sensual poetry!
Comment Written 24-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
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Thank you for your read and analysis. Instructions were to "Try to make us feel the heat and passion of your lovers without being vulgar or blatant." I wrote: "She lies upon the gossamer deck
Waiting for his sensual embrace
He melts within,
Comment from tfawcus
It sounds as if he had the best of both worlds here, shenanigans at sea and forgiveness back home. You describe the passionate encounter with the sea goddess well. Good while it lasted!
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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It sounds as if he had the best of both worlds here, shenanigans at sea and forgiveness back home. You describe the passionate encounter with the sea goddess well. Good while it lasted!
Comment Written 22-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Thanks for you read and review. A fantasy can only last so long, I guess.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
What a very cool offering for this contest...really speaks images to those of us who enjoy the water and the emotions so easily tied to such! ;) :) Thanx so much for sharing and best of luck at the polls! ;) :)
She lie upon the --> She lies upon the
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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What a very cool offering for this contest...really speaks images to those of us who enjoy the water and the emotions so easily tied to such! ;) :) Thanx so much for sharing and best of luck at the polls! ;) :)
She lie upon the --> She lies upon the
Comment Written 22-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Thanks for the encouraging words and the catch. No matter how many times I read, something always seem to get missed.
Comment from Tiffanny Brooks
This is a beguiling poem - enchanting and gossamer. There is tension as well, which I think is hard to do in poetry.
Well done! Thanks for sharing!
Tiffanny
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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This is a beguiling poem - enchanting and gossamer. There is tension as well, which I think is hard to do in poetry.
Well done! Thanks for sharing!
Tiffanny
Comment Written 22-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Beautiful expression ;"His ship becalmed on satin waters" , it's sounds like the person of your affection is a mermaid. I am seeing a couple of elements from the Greek Mythology: when the sailors were lured and stranded on a magnificent island, but then salvation: "Turn to shore
I will guide you home""
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Beautiful expression ;"His ship becalmed on satin waters" , it's sounds like the person of your affection is a mermaid. I am seeing a couple of elements from the Greek Mythology: when the sailors were lured and stranded on a magnificent island, but then salvation: "Turn to shore
I will guide you home""
Comment Written 22-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Thanks for the read and comments.
Comment from gudbjorg
Combining fantasy and passion in a dramatic form, this poem has a style that works to keep the reader involved. It is not vulgar or blatant and yet, portrays a sailor's life and the well-known dangers of the siren, offering him a form of love that's enticing but leaves him with nothing but the memory. Well written.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Combining fantasy and passion in a dramatic form, this poem has a style that works to keep the reader involved. It is not vulgar or blatant and yet, portrays a sailor's life and the well-known dangers of the siren, offering him a form of love that's enticing but leaves him with nothing but the memory. Well written.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Thank you for the read and comments. Much appreciated.
Comment from susand3022
Hello Author, Mermaids and man... a love as old as the sea. It's mystical and mythical and so it can be whatever it is you can dream it will be. Nicely done. Good luck in the contest. :)
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Hello Author, Mermaids and man... a love as old as the sea. It's mystical and mythical and so it can be whatever it is you can dream it will be. Nicely done. Good luck in the contest. :)
Comment Written 22-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Thank you for the read and comments.
