Have a heart !
Modern Fable3 total reviews
Comment from Patty Palmer
An interesting modern day fable. It is inventive and has a lot of imagination. It reads very easily and the reader is able to understand and follow the action taking place, Good job! Good luck with the contest!
Patty
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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An interesting modern day fable. It is inventive and has a lot of imagination. It reads very easily and the reader is able to understand and follow the action taking place, Good job! Good luck with the contest!
Patty
Comment Written 19-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Thanks for sharing - most encouraging review zanya
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You're welcome!
Comment from Janilou
A very cute story. Poor Girl. I felt sorry for her. I think Josh needs to take a few lessons in compassion, or else not name his bot, "Girl." LOL
The only suggestion I have is for this section.
Monotonous sobs filled the silence.
'Josh..Josh..is my voice too squeaky or monotonous? No robot love hearts.'
'You're a god damn robot, Giri, get over it.'
Between monotone sobs, Giri said,'You are right, Josh..Bots have no heart..no heart..just algorithms where a heart should be.'
Perhaps change one of the 'mono' words. Monotone and monotonous sound very similar.
All the best,
Jan
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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A very cute story. Poor Girl. I felt sorry for her. I think Josh needs to take a few lessons in compassion, or else not name his bot, "Girl." LOL
The only suggestion I have is for this section.
Monotonous sobs filled the silence.
'Josh..Josh..is my voice too squeaky or monotonous? No robot love hearts.'
'You're a god damn robot, Giri, get over it.'
Between monotone sobs, Giri said,'You are right, Josh..Bots have no heart..no heart..just algorithms where a heart should be.'
Perhaps change one of the 'mono' words. Monotone and monotonous sound very similar.
All the best,
Jan
Comment Written 19-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Thanks for taking time to read and review and useful suggestions zanya
Comment from Cheryl I
I enjoyed reading your story. I think you did a particularly good job with the dialogue, which trips up many writers. Nice job, and I wish you a lot of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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I enjoyed reading your story. I think you did a particularly good job with the dialogue, which trips up many writers. Nice job, and I wish you a lot of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Delighted you enjoyed reading it - thanks for that encouragement with the dialogue zanya
