Comment from Mistydawn

Excellent

I do hope the Indian chief will give up the little girl. Poor thing is so heartbroken thinking she'll never see her family again. The chapter is very well-written, interesting, suspenseful. Great hook at the end. Your grandson is a very handsome young man.

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2019

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2019

Thank you so much for this really lovely review, my friend! I think he gorgeous, too, but then I'm a tad biased!! :)) xxx

Comment from Pantygynt

Exceptional

You have caught the atmosphere of uncertainty and mutual distrust well. This is bound to occur when communication is so difficult.

I have only one observation thaI believe might be appropriate.

'Ellie didn't struggle this time, she just walked meekly back inside and sat down. Her shoulders slumped in sorrow.'

I am just not convinced that 'sorrow' is the right word here. Perhaps 'resignation that there was nothing she could do' might be better though it is a bit wordy and I appreciate you want to keep the words as simple as possible. Maybe 'confusion' would fit the bill.

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2019

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2019

That's so helpful, Jim. You're right about keeping it simple but your word, 'resignation' fitted the bill, but I found an easier word, 'defeat' and followed it through with the rest of your suggestion:
Her shoulders slumped in defeat knowing there was nothing she could do....
What do you think? Thank you so much for the six stars, that is so kind of you. And a big hugs for the lovely, helpful review! Big hugs, my friend. xxx Sandra x

reply by Pantygynt on 19-Aug-2019

Yes. Defeat is good.

reply by the author on 19-Aug-2019

Thanks, Jim. xx

Comment from country ranch writer

Excellent

Hopefully she will be rescued they are scared of what they think is a spirit. Nice work up for this one Indians are a great believer in the spirits.

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 Comment Written 19-Aug-2019

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2019

Thank you so much. This is the second book for my grandson, he will be starting a special needs school in September that deals with dyslexia. He asked me if I'd write an adventure story for him for when he could read properly. What Granny could refuse that? Thanks so much for the kind review. I do appreciate it. :)) Sandra xx

Comment from Y. M. Roger

Excellent

Aaaack! You did that on purpose - just left us hanging before sweet Ellie could react! ;) :) LOL! A fun installment here, Sandra, with quite a bit of excitement and anticipation blended into the narration to really keep your reader's attention throughout! ;) Thanx for sharing and looking forward to the next one! ;) Yvette

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 Comment Written 19-Aug-2019

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2019

LOL, I do love doing that. Thank you so much, Yvette, for another lovely fun review. :)) Sandra xx