Reviews from

Eric's Epic Adventures

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Ellie May Is Disappointed. "
Another adventure for Eric

44 total reviews 
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Excellent
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Poor little Ellie May. I'd be so terrified if I were a child in that situation. I'd be terrified as an adult in that situation. Living in FL we have an interesting American Indian history. Geronimo was brought here along with the Chiricahua Apache people. Very interesting. Anyway another great chapter. The picture is great too. Very fun. Rox

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2019
    That must be so interesting, Rox. I've read that some have kept their language going, I think that is so important. They must never lose their roots. Does anyone know how far back in history they go? I'm sure it must be thousands of years. Thank you so much for another lovely review, my friend. I do so appreciate it. Big hugs. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from aryr
Excellent
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First, that was a great picture Sandra and I enjoyed seeing Herbie. This was an action packed continuation. Poor little Ellie May was going through so many emotions-fear, hopelessness, anger, betrayal-and all she wanted was to have her family back. Meanwhile Eric definitely shared words of wisdom with Thomas- he was right that when he was gone, the Indians could attack again if they were angry. It was a good closing with the chief and Herbie approaching the tent and having the flap being lifted. Very well done, hugs and smiles Alie.

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2019
    What a wonderful review, Alie, thank you so very much! I'm over the moon that you enjoyed this part. I'll be reading it to Eric tonight! That's when I get the thumbs up or down! lol. So far, I've been lucky. Big hugs and smiles back, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by aryr on 20-Aug-2019
    Then I do hope he likes it. You are so welcome.
Comment from JudyE
Excellent
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The story is moving along well and I only picked up a couple of points that you might want to look at.

Moments later, the Indian girl came back, babbled something that upset Hetiwa even more - I might have used 'babbling' rather than 'babbled'

If it was up to her this little girl would be taken back to her parents. - comma after 'her'

With that, he started moving towards the Indians, determined to get through. His fear of them forgotten for a moment - I think this should be one sentence with a comma after 'through'

The Indians weren't scared of this white man, they'd fought him before. - period after 'man'

"You're with me, they can't hurt you while you are. - period after 'me'

Best wishes
Judy



 Comment Written 20-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2019
    Thank you so much, Judy, for your helpful review. I'm going to go through them on my MS Copy, before I make changes on here. It always goes wrong when I do corrections on the FS copy. I do appreciate your input, thank you, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You have handled the emotional content nicely in this chapter, both in terms of the fears of the various characters and the interaction between them. You really do manage to put us under Ellie's skin to empathise with her plight. This continues to come along well, with the tension held firm. I like the way you are describing the Indians, making them more rounded as characters than is usual in this kind of tale. I'm wondering what the Medicine Man has up his sleeve. Keep those feathered fans twitching!

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2019
    I'm glad you picked up on the Medicine Man, Tony, keep him in mind.
    There aren't too many chapters to go now, so it's slowly coming to a head. Thank you so very much for the lovely six stars, my friend, and this fabulous review. I really value your comments. Are you posting again in the week? I still have that 6 that was supposed to go to you on Sunday! Your writing always deserves one, that's another reason I value your reviews. Thanks again, my friend.:)) Sandra xx
reply by tfawcus on 20-Aug-2019
    Thanks, Sandra. I?m looking forward to the next instalment!
    I?ve just finished writing my next chapter, which I?ll be posting shortly.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Excellent
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Hello Sandra. I am continuing to follow the story. I find the premise interesting and the dialogue helpful in keeping the story going. A short synopsis with each new chapter helps. Robert

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2019
    Thank you, Robert, for your continued support, I really appreciate it. :)) Sandra xx
reply by Robert Zimmerman on 20-Aug-2019
    You're welcome!
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
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Hi Sandra. Your grandson, Eric is a beautiful boy and I like Herbie made by your hubby. Your story is well described and interesting. I don't see any errors. Good dialogue and plot. I'm curious what Eric thinks of it. I'll bet he enjoys it. Marilyn

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2019
    Eric comes on Skype every evening before he goes to bed so I can read what I've written. lol, he can't wait to have this one in his hands. He starts his new special needs school next month and he's so excited. He's hoping he'll be able to read in a few days. I think it might take a bit longer. His dyslexia is quite severe, but he's a determined young man. This is why he wanted me to write these stories. If it gives him the encouragement he needs, I'll write as many as he wants. Thank you for the kind words, Marilyn, he's a beautiful boy inside as well. Big hugs, Sandra xx
reply by BeasPeas on 24-Aug-2019
    Hi Sandra. I think dyslexia can be conquered. I worked in a psych hospital and one of our psychiatrists was dyslexic. Seems like it wasn't a problem for him.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2019
    Hi Marilyn, there are various degrees of dyslexia. Eric's mum is dyslexic too and can read albeit slower than I read. Eric's dyslexia has the words falling off the page, his is quite acute. But, this specialist school has excellent results for children the same as Eric. We are very encouraged and Eric is so excited and determined. In every other aspect, he is very bright, him memory borders on photographic. This will also help him. Thanks, Marilyn. xx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Poor Ellie May believing that her Pa doesn't care. That would be heart breaking. You did a great job describing the emotion. Once again, I enjoyed reading.

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2019
    Thank you so much, Barbara. I'm so pleased you are still enjoying this story. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Gail Denham
Excellent
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Cute - your grandson with "Herbie" - fits the story nicely - how nice of your husband. Sounds as the Indian lady feels badly for Ellie - I assume Herbie will pull some trick to convince them to release her.
The story read well- moved along quickly.

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2019
    Thank you for another lovely review, Gail. Yes, leave it to Herbie, he's quite good at persuading people to do what he wants. he's just :)) finding that out! Sandra xx
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Another exciting episode dear Sandra, I now know what Herbie looks like. Herbie has located Ellie May in the correct teepee, with Hetiwa and the younger Indian girl. Another fantastic episode Sandra, well done, blessings, Roy
Your grandson is a delightful looking boy, he reminds me of my eldest grandson Zach.
Typo : the young girl star(r)ed at the...

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2019
    Thank you for finding that typo, Roy, there is always one! (In my case, loads!) I'm so pleased you are continuing to enjoy this story, that is really encouraging. Eric is a gem, his smile lights up my life. Your Zach must definitely be a joy to have in your life too. As do all our children and theirs. Thank you again, my dear friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by royowen on 20-Aug-2019
    He?s a very sweet boy, I?m so proud of them, as are you.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2019
    Yes, I can't help but be. It's lovely, isn't it. xxx
reply by royowen on 20-Aug-2019
    Oh yeah
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Awe, Sandra, this is such a great continuation to the story and the conflict is apparent enough. What a lovely picture of Eric. Isn't he just a handsome guy with a wonderful smile?
I'm on a tour around northern Spain and Portugal, with my friend, Marjory, and I'm so hopelessly behind. So I have some long days driving. I hope to release another chapter to the 'Fisherman' Son' later this week. I love your story., as you know. A big hug. Ulla xxx

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 19-Aug-2019
    I wondered where you had gone, Ulla. I'm glad you're having a nice time with your friend, it does us good to get away for a few days.

    Thank you so very much for the lovely stars, and another of your encouraging reviews, my friend. I do appreciate them, as you well know. I look forward to reading your next chapter later this week. Enjoy yourself! Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by Ulla on 19-Aug-2019
    Thanks a lot, Sandra. I'm away until mid September. I'll have to do as best as I can with the writing. I'm doing all the driving and we have a great time. Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2019
    Sounds like you're both having fun. Lucky you!!! Don't worry about FS, it will be here waiting for you when you come home. In fact, I think there are loads of members on holiday, my message box is empty! xxxx
reply by Ulla on 19-Aug-2019
    I wish I could say the same, I have 104 messages waiting! I'm not complaining though. xxxx off to bed in a minute.