The Gardens at Weatherbury
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "C2 - Realization"Truths Shared from My Job of a Lifetime
46 total reviews
Comment from estory
The descriptions were strong and colorful, especially at the beginning, and it catches our attention and pulls us into the chapter. I thought the dialogue was a little vague, it's a bit hard to tell exactly what's going on between the two, to define the relationship and the conflict and hint at how it will be resolved. It piques our interest though, and with a little tinkering, I think it can be a great second chapter. estory
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
  |
The descriptions were strong and colorful, especially at the beginning, and it catches our attention and pulls us into the chapter. I thought the dialogue was a little vague, it's a bit hard to tell exactly what's going on between the two, to define the relationship and the conflict and hint at how it will be resolved. It piques our interest though, and with a little tinkering, I think it can be a great second chapter. estory
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
-
Thanx for the review, e -- always appreciated. :) Yvette
Comment from Gail Denham
Well-written chapter I think. Love that door photo - looks like some we saw in the Cotswolds. But it also looks like a garden shed. Are gnomes able to vanish - or fly? The part about him climbing on containers and such - I wondered why the gnome didn't just levitate up there. But then maybe they can't do that?
Anyway - I enjoyed this chapter. Reads well.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
|
Well-written chapter I think. Love that door photo - looks like some we saw in the Cotswolds. But it also looks like a garden shed. Are gnomes able to vanish - or fly? The part about him climbing on containers and such - I wondered why the gnome didn't just levitate up there. But then maybe they can't do that?
Anyway - I enjoyed this chapter. Reads well.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
-
Nah... this is just a plain little guy... ;) :) :) This one's aimed at a younger audience... but it is real fun to imagine cool stuff like this no matter what our age, yeah? :) Thanx for the review, Gail, and enjoy the week ahead!! ;) Yvettte
Comment from Sallyo
What fun! I was a bit at sea at first because I looked for the arrowy thing that lets one find the earlier chapters but I see you've posted them separately. Love the sentient rosebush... I had one once!
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
|
What fun! I was a bit at sea at first because I looked for the arrowy thing that lets one find the earlier chapters but I see you've posted them separately. Love the sentient rosebush... I had one once!
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
-
This one's aimed at a younger audience... but it is real fun to imagine cool stuff like this no matter what our age, yeah? :) Made sure the prologue and Chapter One were at the top of the portfolio for a bit to make it easier :) ;) Thanx for the review, Sallyo Sunshine, and enjoy the week ahead!! ;) Yvettte
Comment from lyenochka
Seems like Nicholas has been accepted by the magical beings of the Garden! I like your Rosa character and I wonder how communication will continue between the two but it's great that they are all "real" now.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
|
Seems like Nicholas has been accepted by the magical beings of the Garden! I like your Rosa character and I wonder how communication will continue between the two but it's great that they are all "real" now.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
-
This one's ultimately aimed at a younger audience... but I've been having such fun imagining cool stuff like this ... no matter what our age, yeah? :) LOL! :) Thanx for the review, Helen, and enjoy the week ahead!! ;) Yvettt
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for telling the story of the Weatherbury Estate's groundskeeper. The picture you selected reinforced the sense of being there. To be continued... Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
|
Thank you for telling the story of the Weatherbury Estate's groundskeeper. The picture you selected reinforced the sense of being there. To be continued... Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
-
This one's aimed at a younger audience... but it is real fun to imagine cool stuff like this no matter what our age, yeah? :) LOL! Thanx for the review, Joan, and enjoy the week ahead!! ;) Yvettte
-
We are never too old to find our inner child! Here's to a satisfying, new week- Joan
Comment from Mackenzie Cooper
There were multiple instances where I actually chuckled out loud. I think every person on this planet has tripped over some type of object and said multiple bad words. I like the idea of real and imaginary creatures being in the same story and exchanging dialogue. I am a big fan of movies so I always enjoy reading a story where I can visualize it being acted out in a movie. Well written!!
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
 |
There were multiple instances where I actually chuckled out loud. I think every person on this planet has tripped over some type of object and said multiple bad words. I like the idea of real and imaginary creatures being in the same story and exchanging dialogue. I am a big fan of movies so I always enjoy reading a story where I can visualize it being acted out in a movie. Well written!!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
-
Oh, I am so very glad that you enjoyed this one, Mackenzie -- that is the greatest thing an author can hope for: out loud laughter!! ;) :) Of course, this one's aimed at a younger audience... but it is real fun to imagine cool stuff like this no matter what our age, yeah? :) LOL! Thanx for the awesome review and those lovely stars, ma'am, and enjoy the week ahead!! ;) Yvette
Comment from royowen
I see you've already written some works of these characters Yvette. A chapter two contest is very clever, bring folk out of the comfort of a setting up chapter two without a chapter one to prop up a synopsis of characters and plot. Difficult to do. But you've already done that with a chapter two from a series, but still within the framework of the contest. A hallmark story from your pen dear Yvette, an excellent episode, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
|
I see you've already written some works of these characters Yvette. A chapter two contest is very clever, bring folk out of the comfort of a setting up chapter two without a chapter one to prop up a synopsis of characters and plot. Difficult to do. But you've already done that with a chapter two from a series, but still within the framework of the contest. A hallmark story from your pen dear Yvette, an excellent episode, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
-
Oh, yeah, and this one's definitely aimed at a younger audience... but it is real fun to imagine cool stuff like this no matter what our age, yeah? :) LOL! :) Thanx for the awesome review, Sire Roy, and enjoy the week ahead!! ;) Yvettte
-
You too
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements splendidly as you deliver a delightfully engaging chapter within the allotted words constraints. I really enjoyed it and hope you take it further. Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
|
This meets the contest requirements splendidly as you deliver a delightfully engaging chapter within the allotted words constraints. I really enjoyed it and hope you take it further. Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
-
This one's aimed at a younger audience... but it is real fun to imagine cool stuff like this no matter what our age, yeah? :) Thanx for the review, Angel, and enjoy the week ahead!! ;) Yvettte
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is appealing to readers from probably at least 8 years and up. I like Nicholas the narrator's voice. Constantine sounds just slightly like Dr. Emmett Brown from the movie "Back to the Future." A rosebush named Rosalind? Who knew? Too cute. I assume George Thrasher is going to pop up and cause problems later. I didn't see anything really obvious to improve on. I think with "Then, he started some funny dance," you wouldn't need the comma after the word "Then" and that is all I would change.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
|
This is appealing to readers from probably at least 8 years and up. I like Nicholas the narrator's voice. Constantine sounds just slightly like Dr. Emmett Brown from the movie "Back to the Future." A rosebush named Rosalind? Who knew? Too cute. I assume George Thrasher is going to pop up and cause problems later. I didn't see anything really obvious to improve on. I think with "Then, he started some funny dance," you wouldn't need the comma after the word "Then" and that is all I would change.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
-
This one's definitely aimed at a younger audience... but it is real fun to imagine cool stuff like this no matter what our age, yeah? :) Thanx for this wonderful and encourageing review, Crystie, and enjoy the week ahead!! ;) Yvettte
Comment from Darlene Franklin
Oh, you've totally captivated me. I hope I can follow this story, since I receive updates when you've posted writing. I've just started a children's picture book, myself.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
|
Oh, you've totally captivated me. I hope I can follow this story, since I receive updates when you've posted writing. I've just started a children's picture book, myself.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
-
Hooray!! So glad to hear I've got you intrigued!! ;) :) This one's aimed at a younger audience... but it is real fun to imagine cool stuff like this no matter what our age, yeah? :) Thanx for the review, Darlene, and enjoy the week ahead!! ;) Yvettte
