Monica
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Monica Chapter 7"A woman becomes fixated on Rob
9 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
The police are stymied, but all Monica does is take a shower and destroy evidence in the fireplace. That lady will need to buy her own clothing mall, the way she is going. I guess even villainesses need some downtime, so she binge-watches TV at the end. I would have thought she would go engage in knife-throwing exercises in the garage, or something. Action is still well-paced. With the sentence: Satisfied that she had, she put it out of her mind, not be thought about again.
I think you need to put "to" in front of "be thought about again."
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
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The police are stymied, but all Monica does is take a shower and destroy evidence in the fireplace. That lady will need to buy her own clothing mall, the way she is going. I guess even villainesses need some downtime, so she binge-watches TV at the end. I would have thought she would go engage in knife-throwing exercises in the garage, or something. Action is still well-paced. With the sentence: Satisfied that she had, she put it out of her mind, not be thought about again.
I think you need to put "to" in front of "be thought about again."
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
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Thank you my dear for hanging in there and reading all 7 chapters. I do appreaciate it and the helps and positive reviews. rox
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
In this chapter, Monica is more revealing and shown more thoughtful, decisive, activating and adventurous; well said, well done. Liked and enjoyed the read. Write to Inspire, Change.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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In this chapter, Monica is more revealing and shown more thoughtful, decisive, activating and adventurous; well said, well done. Liked and enjoyed the read. Write to Inspire, Change.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Thank you sir.
Comment from Mistydawn
No remorse or anything, just worried about covering her own butt. What a piece of work. The chapter is well-written, interesting start to finish, a good addition to your story. Nice job.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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No remorse or anything, just worried about covering her own butt. What a piece of work. The chapter is well-written, interesting start to finish, a good addition to your story. Nice job.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Nope, Monica don't care 'bout nobody. Thanks dear. Rox
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Did Monica get away with murder? Only time will tell.
Narcissistic people believe they are superior to everyone else and will not get caught. At this time there is no reason to suspect her. None at all. Well done, Rox. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Did Monica get away with murder? Only time will tell.
Narcissistic people believe they are superior to everyone else and will not get caught. At this time there is no reason to suspect her. None at all. Well done, Rox. Nancy:)
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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yes, she does think she can get away with anything. She has also had a daddy getting her out of messes her whole life as well. I do hope someone stops her. =} Thanks so much. Rox
Comment from Teri7
Rox, This is a chapter full of lots of gore and blood. You used very good descriptive words and very good dialogue between the people in charge. Not really the kind of stories I read these days, but you are doing a very good job with this one. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Rox, This is a chapter full of lots of gore and blood. You used very good descriptive words and very good dialogue between the people in charge. Not really the kind of stories I read these days, but you are doing a very good job with this one. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Thank you for reading and following along even though it's not your thing. I know murder and mayhem is not for everyone. Would you believe I only wrote kids stories before? No crazed killer in any of them. =} Rox
Comment from the13thpoet
I am both happy and sad that I am finally caught up. You never know what going on inside someone's head until you read some of the things they write. You clearly have a cast of characters in there, and one just happens to be a crazed serial killer.
Good job, keep it coming, I can't wait to read more!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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I am both happy and sad that I am finally caught up. You never know what going on inside someone's head until you read some of the things they write. You clearly have a cast of characters in there, and one just happens to be a crazed serial killer.
Good job, keep it coming, I can't wait to read more!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Yes, my head is full of murder and mayhem. =} Would you believe I only wrote Children's Stories when I first started and not one serial killer in the bunch. I think this is my alter ego coming out, if I weren't a Christian I'd no doubt have become a serial killer. =} I watch too much Dateline and the like. I'm glad you are enjoying the story. Thanks so much.
Comment from Darlene BoClair
Amazing story. Monica got the characteristics of a serial killer.
She has no remorse as she drinks and watch TV.
I know she is making mistakes in burning the evidence.
Funny, tennis shoes with the rubber sole and laces has to be evidence.
Monica is a woman to be dealt with.
Let the story unwound in a mysteries way, I will read on.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Amazing story. Monica got the characteristics of a serial killer.
She has no remorse as she drinks and watch TV.
I know she is making mistakes in burning the evidence.
Funny, tennis shoes with the rubber sole and laces has to be evidence.
Monica is a woman to be dealt with.
Let the story unwound in a mysteries way, I will read on.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Monica is one crazy lady and getting crazier. Once you get away with something, you think you can do it forever and never get caught. I do hope someone stops her. =} Thanks so much for following along. Appreciate it. Rox
Comment from royowen
So, there are a few anomalies in the murder of Lonnie McGovern by the cold blooded Monica, a nutcase stalker. Later Monica takes care of business, burning clothing. Washing other items, she really is a blight. Well done, Rox, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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So, there are a few anomalies in the murder of Lonnie McGovern by the cold blooded Monica, a nutcase stalker. Later Monica takes care of business, burning clothing. Washing other items, she really is a blight. Well done, Rox, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Thank you sir. Rox
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Most welcome Rox
Comment from JudyE
Another strong chapter with just a few points for me to bring to your attention:
A deputy was securing the area with yellow crime sense tape - should be 'crime scene tape'.
"What have we got Doc?" - comma after 'got'
Martin took the blood-stained wallet secured in a plastic evidence baggie. - would this just be 'bag' rather than 'baggie'? Maybe if they were speaking, they'd use 'baggie'.
The Liuetenant looked up - should be 'lieutenant'
Putting her tennis shoes in at the last minute, almost forgetting them, she pushed them into the flames. - maybe 'After almost forgetting her tennis shoes, she dropped them in at the last minute, pushing them into the flames.'
Cheers
Judy
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Another strong chapter with just a few points for me to bring to your attention:
A deputy was securing the area with yellow crime sense tape - should be 'crime scene tape'.
"What have we got Doc?" - comma after 'got'
Martin took the blood-stained wallet secured in a plastic evidence baggie. - would this just be 'bag' rather than 'baggie'? Maybe if they were speaking, they'd use 'baggie'.
The Liuetenant looked up - should be 'lieutenant'
Putting her tennis shoes in at the last minute, almost forgetting them, she pushed them into the flames. - maybe 'After almost forgetting her tennis shoes, she dropped them in at the last minute, pushing them into the flames.'
Cheers
Judy
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Thanks for all the helps. Rox
