Eric's Epic Adventures
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "The Indians Attack!"Another adventure for Eric
31 total reviews
Comment from JudyE
Sorry to be so late getting to this. We've had a few days away.
I do have a few comments:
He was about to tell Herbie what to say, when the Indian who had been sent off, came back with an elaborately dressed wizened old Indian. - I'd put a comma after 'dressed'
He was carrying a fan of feathers in each hand that had been decorated with other weird looking objects. - I might have written this as 'In each hand, he was carrying a fan of feathers that had been decorated with other weird looking objects.'
He's not as clever as Herbie, only he can do that! - period after 'Herbie'
I love Herbie's antics!
Cheers
Judy
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2019
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Sorry to be so late getting to this. We've had a few days away.
I do have a few comments:
He was about to tell Herbie what to say, when the Indian who had been sent off, came back with an elaborately dressed wizened old Indian. - I'd put a comma after 'dressed'
He was carrying a fan of feathers in each hand that had been decorated with other weird looking objects. - I might have written this as 'In each hand, he was carrying a fan of feathers that had been decorated with other weird looking objects.'
He's not as clever as Herbie, only he can do that! - period after 'Herbie'
I love Herbie's antics!
Cheers
Judy
Comment Written 25-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2019
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Hi Judy, thank you so very much for the six stars! I like your suggestions too, so I'll changing that sentence and also adding the comma and period. That was so very kind of you, my friend! It's a thumbs up for you, (if I haven't already giving you one this month! You'll know if it doesn't come into your messages.) Thank you! :)) Sandra xx
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Thanks. I saw the message first. I'm not worried about the nomination. I'm glad I was able to help a little.
Comment from giraffmang
Well, thank goodness for the protection trick. Had me going for a minute...
Nice continuation of the piece - I am so behind with everything. lol
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2019
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Well, thank goodness for the protection trick. Had me going for a minute...
Nice continuation of the piece - I am so behind with everything. lol
Comment Written 20-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2019
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Thank you for catching up, Gareth, I'm glad you liked the force field. Of course, being aliens, Herbie and Gizmo would have these automatically! Most convenient for me, lol! :)) Sandra xx
Comment from alexisleech
Another perfect chapter, Sandra. I never thought I would enjoy reading a children's book so much, but it was so well crafted, the chapter kept my attention all the way. Bravo!
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2019
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Another perfect chapter, Sandra. I never thought I would enjoy reading a children's book so much, but it was so well crafted, the chapter kept my attention all the way. Bravo!
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 19-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2019
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Thank you so very much, Alexis, for those lovely six stars and fabulous review. I haven't seen you for a couple of days. I've sent you a message on Skype. xxxx
Comment from Sylvia Page
Sandra, it would have been fun to watch the entire spectacle of Herbie hovering over the chief and learning his language and rightly too the Indians had to be very worried and think Herbie was a Great Spirit from another world. The simple people would have believed anything. What impression they must have of Eric ordering the "Great Spirit" maybe they thought he was a higher being?
Very well done,
Sylvia
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Sandra, it would have been fun to watch the entire spectacle of Herbie hovering over the chief and learning his language and rightly too the Indians had to be very worried and think Herbie was a Great Spirit from another world. The simple people would have believed anything. What impression they must have of Eric ordering the "Great Spirit" maybe they thought he was a higher being?
Very well done,
Sylvia
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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If only I could turn it into a cartoon film or something like that, it really would be fun to watch it play out. Thank you so much for this kind review, Sylvia, your comments made me smile, they are so encouraging. Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Beautiful artwork, Sandra.
-A very good chapter that shows the
reaction of the Indians to Herbie.
-Instead of being fearful, they were
in awe, as if he were a Great Spirit.
-The description of the Medicine Man is very good.
-As the first section ends, the Indians are not startled
when Herbie is buzzing around, and
sense that Eric had called him back.
-Herbie is relishing in this interest,
but Eric wants him to settle down!
-The last scene with Ellie is done well.
-Obviously, she was fearful when she was first
taken, but she has been treated well.
-As the Indian woman braids her hair,
it seems to bring some comfort,
and it was a nice gesture for Hetiwa to
reach out to Ellie and learn their names.
-There is obvious displeasure at the end, and
"frowning at Ellie" doesn't bode well for the moment.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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-Beautiful artwork, Sandra.
-A very good chapter that shows the
reaction of the Indians to Herbie.
-Instead of being fearful, they were
in awe, as if he were a Great Spirit.
-The description of the Medicine Man is very good.
-As the first section ends, the Indians are not startled
when Herbie is buzzing around, and
sense that Eric had called him back.
-Herbie is relishing in this interest,
but Eric wants him to settle down!
-The last scene with Ellie is done well.
-Obviously, she was fearful when she was first
taken, but she has been treated well.
-As the Indian woman braids her hair,
it seems to bring some comfort,
and it was a nice gesture for Hetiwa to
reach out to Ellie and learn their names.
-There is obvious displeasure at the end, and
"frowning at Ellie" doesn't bode well for the moment.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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What a lovely review, Pam, thank you so much. I'm so pleased you liked how the Indians reacted to Herbie. I wonder what Herbie's reception would be like if he had turned up in any country even just a hundred years ago. Today, we wouldn't bat an eyelid. Thank you, my friend, for the six stars, I really do appreciate that. Sending you a nice big hug. xx Sandra xxx
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra. Now, there is an idea for you to explore-how about Eric and Herbie come to the U.S. back in time? That sounds like a great idea to me:)
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Funny story and you got all the freaks in one place:) aliens, Indians and earthling aka humans. Interesting and unexpected ending:"They both turned, looked at Ellie and frowned....
Continued...
Continued..."
T Good luck with your writing.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Funny story and you got all the freaks in one place:) aliens, Indians and earthling aka humans. Interesting and unexpected ending:"They both turned, looked at Ellie and frowned....
Continued...
Continued..."
T Good luck with your writing.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Thank you, Iza, for reading this part of my story. :) Sandra
Comment from WryWriter
The only stamp this chapter needs is the stamp of approval! It is excellent! I breezed through it in complete enjoyment. Action and dialogue were right on target as was pacing and ending. Superb work! Don't have a six star or you'd have it!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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The only stamp this chapter needs is the stamp of approval! It is excellent! I breezed through it in complete enjoyment. Action and dialogue were right on target as was pacing and ending. Superb work! Don't have a six star or you'd have it!
Comment Written 15-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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What a lovely review, WW, thank you so much! To have you say it deserves a six means a lot to me, my friend. Thank you!! :) Sandra xxx
Comment from Gail Denham
GReat chapter - funny how Herbie read or learned the language from the Chief. and now what happens - will they give Ellie back? Herbie prob. does need to be some kind of god.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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GReat chapter - funny how Herbie read or learned the language from the Chief. and now what happens - will they give Ellie back? Herbie prob. does need to be some kind of god.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Mind reading is Herbie's speciality, and of course, with his computer brain, he can learn anything quickly. I wouldn't mind one! lol. Thank you so much for another lovely review, Gail. I really appreciate it. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from the13thpoet
Another good chapter of your book. That was a chapter full of action and drama, I really enjoyed it. I can't wait to see what happens next. Will they get the girl back home before something else happens? Guess I will have to wait to see. Good Job!
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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Another good chapter of your book. That was a chapter full of action and drama, I really enjoyed it. I can't wait to see what happens next. Will they get the girl back home before something else happens? Guess I will have to wait to see. Good Job!
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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Thank you so much for another really lovely review. I'm delighted you keep coming back for more! That is so encouraging. I'm tidying the next part now. Thank you! :)) Sandra xx
Comment from DonandVicki
Your story made me time travel, not back several hundred year to the time of the Indians but to High School when we studied the different tribes. Well written as always.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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Your story made me time travel, not back several hundred year to the time of the Indians but to High School when we studied the different tribes. Well written as always.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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Thank you so much, DonandVicki, I've had to do a little bit of research as I know nothing about Indians being a UK woman. But my grandson, Eric, wanted me to take him to 'cowboy and Indian' times in this adventure. Lol, he's such fun and I hope he will enjoy this one. Thanks for your kind review, my friends. :)) Sandra xx
