Comment from sunnilicious

Excellent

Omg, that was a good prank. I could visual it all too well. Good flash from start to end. Good narrative and dialogue. I haven't heard of Scheme-a-Dream, but seem prank shows. Nice work :)

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2019

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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019

Thanks. Some people thought it was a little mean, but I thought the former philanderer had it coming. Glad you enjoyed it.

Comment from kiwigirl2821

Excellent

Now that is just plain mean. Poor guy lived a hundred and fifty years in a few seconds. In my lifetime this kind of thing could of been played out a million plus times because of the "Make Love Not War" thingy and no one using condoms. Great story. Good luck. xoxo Kiwi

 Comment Written 21-Sep-2019

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reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019

Thanks. Yes, I am sure there are many guys this could have happened to. This poor guy just got a scare, but it could have been real. I bet he thinks twice before he messes around on Michelle!

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Thanks for your notes, since I did not know what Scheme-a-Dream is. Your dialog is very realistic as is the situation based on genetic testing. Best wishes in the Flash Fiction contest- Joan

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2019

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reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019

Thanks. It didn't win the contest, but it was a lot of fun.

reply by Joan E. on 21-Sep-2019

That's the most important part! Happy weekend- Joan

Comment from WryWriter

Excellent

LOL! Oh, that would be such a prank to play at an engagement party, but it could backfire if the guy started confessing. LOL! LOL! Good read! Well-done!

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2019

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019

I hadn't thought of that! LOL The guy must have had a past for the prank to work, but it never occured to me that he might hug his 'son' and confess.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Oh, that would certainly give someone a heart attack! But my first thought is how in the world did that young man get Larry's DNA to have tested? Great story in just 150 words. Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2019

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reply by the author on 20-Aug-2019

Thanks. I think if Larry hadn't had a drink or two and been taken totally by surprise, He would have asked that too. But he's a little stunned, and they didn't let the prank go on too long.

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Hi Cindy. I'm glad you explained what "Scheme-a-Dream" is. I never heard of it, but then I'm sort of out of the loop on this. I'm wondering how old the guy is who's getting engaged. If the Beatles are singing Michele--he'd be an old codger, growing up in that time period. Anyway an amusing story, but probably not for the main character getting scammed. Good luck in the contest. Marilyn

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2019

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019

Thanks. I hadn't given any thought to Larry's exact age. It's fiction. He's old enough to have sown some wild oats and grown out of it. I know lots of songs that were before my time. He's playing Michelle because it's the name of his girlfriend.

reply by BeasPeas on 18-Aug-2019

Oh, okay. Good. I thought the Beatles and song were to pinpoint his age. That would make him in his 70's which means he's getting engaged as a senior.

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

The flash fiction would be worthy of five stars were it not for the lack of proper spacing that is missing throughout the entire piece. Fix it and I will up the stars my friend. Good luck in the contest btw. : ) Bob

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2019

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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019

Thanks. I'll be sure to fix that before the contest.

reply by Mastery on 15-Aug-2019

I definitely would : ) Bob

Comment from Richard J

Excellent

OMG!
Can you imagine being at a party, laughing, drinking, enjoying friends and yourself and having something like this sprung on you?
I was feeling sorry for the guy, even embarrassed, and compassionate, when you sprung the joke on me, too ... LOL! A true "GOTCHA!!!"

Thanks for sharing your excellent writing skills, and great story for the contest ... a sure winner! ~ Richard : )

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2019

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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019

Thanks. I'm getting mixed reviews on this one. Some people thought the prank was really mean, others thought it was hilarious. Glad you think it's a winner.

reply by Richard J on 15-Aug-2019

Surely,
No one took this seriously, Cindy.

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

Yikes! What a flash fiction story. Poor guy almost had a heart attack or stroke. (*grin*)

"Michelle" playing on the sound system, as well as being someone who is actually there (likely his wife or girlfriend) is a deft touch.

Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2019

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019

Thanks. Some people thought the prank was mean. I thought he had it coming for being such a cad in his past. Thanks again for the stars and the good wishes for the contest.

reply by Dawn Munro on 15-Aug-2019

I enjoyed it very much. (Oops, I guess that says a lot about MY sense of whats funny, huh? LOL)

Comment from Gail Denham

Excellent

Boy what a shock - and perhaps that says something about playing around - even when you're single - may be some surprises for you later. Good short story. Good luck on contest

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2019

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019

Thanks. Yep, you never know. The prank wouldn't have worked if he didn't have the history.