A Gift
A memory.4 total reviews
Comment from rhonnie69
CIAO TEMPESTE: WOW...I'm not used to you telling me sad things of this nature. I'm trying to figure out how I can rightly address this, my friend. You are a versatile writer. You don't paint only smiling faces. You are clever enough to know that that wouldn't be realistic. You paint joy...and happiness. But you've poured your unhappy heart out here. In your writing you have expressed your condolences for unfortunate people and also wildlife creatures. But for me...this is the saddest. You shall hear more from me concerning this matter. I just need some time to think. God bless you. CIAO TEMPESTE. Your friend: rhonnie. P,S. I wrote a childish poem for you today. You'll know it when you see it. I was just poking fun with my friend for a biggrin...and a hearty LOL.
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CIAO TEMPESTE: WOW...I'm not used to you telling me sad things of this nature. I'm trying to figure out how I can rightly address this, my friend. You are a versatile writer. You don't paint only smiling faces. You are clever enough to know that that wouldn't be realistic. You paint joy...and happiness. But you've poured your unhappy heart out here. In your writing you have expressed your condolences for unfortunate people and also wildlife creatures. But for me...this is the saddest. You shall hear more from me concerning this matter. I just need some time to think. God bless you. CIAO TEMPESTE. Your friend: rhonnie. P,S. I wrote a childish poem for you today. You'll know it when you see it. I was just poking fun with my friend for a biggrin...and a hearty LOL.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2019
Comment from misscookie
I found this to be a very moving write. Which captured my attention from the first line to the last .
I believe that elderly lady was an angel and knew without answering the young lady questions.
Knew God have wonderful plans for her in future.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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I found this to be a very moving write. Which captured my attention from the first line to the last .
I believe that elderly lady was an angel and knew without answering the young lady questions.
Knew God have wonderful plans for her in future.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
Comment Written 09-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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My mamma was at her lowest and that kind gesture from a stranger meant a lot.
She realised after waking up in the hospital that she had been given a second chance and she was going to cherish it.
At birth the state whisked me off but having refused to sign the adoption papers, I couldn't be adopted.
My mamma took my father back when he came knocking and together they set up a successful business ...financially secure, my mamma came to pick me up when I was nearly 6.
My mamma made that second chance count.
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Don't tell it wasn't in Gods plans for you and your family to unite.
You and your family are truly bless even though thing were shaky God keep you guys on sounded grounds.
Stay ground.so how
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I believe God helped us out but the nuns at my boarding school thought different.
I started going to boarding school when I was 6 and a half.
They didn't know my past history but they did know I was not baptised and my parents weren't married so they reminded me everyday that we were all three heading to Hell.
PS. My parents had a travel business and they were away 10 months a year ..so boarding school was the only solution for me. I don't want you to think they didn't care.
Nice talking to you.
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I had some unexplained experience
at a religious school and my mother didn't send me their because she didn't love me. It was for a better education
so I can relate.
cookie
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh my goodness this is a story of survival, your Mother went through a traumatic time and you both survived and I loved your happy ending, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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Oh my goodness this is a story of survival, your Mother went through a traumatic time and you both survived and I loved your happy ending, love Dolly x
Comment Written 09-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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Survival and much more, Dolly.
After I was born , the state took me until my mamma could financially support me.
She refused to sign those damn adoption papers.
She forgave my papa ' when he came back ( she wanted me to know him) and together they set up their successful business.
My mamma came and got me when I was nearly six and by 6 and a 1/2 I started going to boarding school until I was 21.
Due to their business , I saw my parent two months a year.
Yes my mamma went along way but above all she loved me and kept me.
Comment from Alex Rosel
This is one of the more original entries I've read for this particular contest. It's particularly poignant. I think it may do well {smile}
Here are a couple of points you might like to consider:
that she had tried to take her life -- I realize this is in poetic form, and much relies on the tone and meter, but here is something I look for in straight prose; it may be helpful or not.
Personally, I'm always looking to omit the word that whenever I can. The reason for this is that unnecessary words tend to detract from the pace of the prose. So, if removing the word that from a sentence doesn't change its meaning, then I will delete it. Such is the case here. The snappier result has the same meaning: she had tried to take her life. Just a thought...
" Take my slippers darling -- Spag? Remove the space after the quotation punctuation at the beginning of the dialogue.
Good luck with the competition {smiles}.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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This is one of the more original entries I've read for this particular contest. It's particularly poignant. I think it may do well {smile}
Here are a couple of points you might like to consider:
that she had tried to take her life -- I realize this is in poetic form, and much relies on the tone and meter, but here is something I look for in straight prose; it may be helpful or not.
Personally, I'm always looking to omit the word that whenever I can. The reason for this is that unnecessary words tend to detract from the pace of the prose. So, if removing the word that from a sentence doesn't change its meaning, then I will delete it. Such is the case here. The snappier result has the same meaning: she had tried to take her life. Just a thought...
" Take my slippers darling -- Spag? Remove the space after the quotation punctuation at the beginning of the dialogue.
Good luck with the competition {smiles}.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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Thank you for the helpful grammar input .. It is much appreciated!
I remove the word ....that .....
You are right it flows better now.
I left a space after the " in
"Take my slippers because if you don't weird unwanted writing usually appears like this ....A?¿
Thank you for the positive review .. I won't hold my breath though when it comes to votes ( biggrin )
All the best for the weekend!
