The Memory Coat
Sage advice from a FS friend39 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Oh. My. Goodness!! Lady F, you have me in tears over here... this is beautiful and you've got some really, REALLY unusual yet smooth-sounding rhymes that the reader just 'reads through' and continues like it just wasn't something like "recognizable" that you just rhymed!! Aack!! So very glad to be your friend and that the blonde said something that clicked with you... it's how I deal with those difficult things in life! :) And I won't even charge you the usual large coffee drink for a fee cuz now I have this BEAUTIFUL piece to print and hang up right here at my writing desk where the memories try to box me in sometimes!! :) ;) You ROCK, my lady! ... Be sure to continue to take good care of you and keep in touch!! ;) :) Yvette
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Oh. My. Goodness!! Lady F, you have me in tears over here... this is beautiful and you've got some really, REALLY unusual yet smooth-sounding rhymes that the reader just 'reads through' and continues like it just wasn't something like "recognizable" that you just rhymed!! Aack!! So very glad to be your friend and that the blonde said something that clicked with you... it's how I deal with those difficult things in life! :) And I won't even charge you the usual large coffee drink for a fee cuz now I have this BEAUTIFUL piece to print and hang up right here at my writing desk where the memories try to box me in sometimes!! :) ;) You ROCK, my lady! ... Be sure to continue to take good care of you and keep in touch!! ;) :) Yvette
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Well if it isn?t the beautiful teacher that has offered me the greatest advice that seems to resonate with so many and I only promoted it for 48 hours!!! That is why I had to share your precious advice and how much it meant to me!!! Probably the single biggest piece of therapeutic wisdom I?ve ever been given! It cost me way less than a psychiatrist appointment - let me tell you!!!
MRW, I have the utmost respect for you and I wrote this literally the weekend that you offered it to me. I have been sitting on it for weeks. Along with some other things that have yet to be offered... because there was not much in the way of author notes here, I am going through (and to those I recognize) I am disclosing individually that you offered the advice - but on some I am not. The people that are super special to me get an extended one on one reply because they deserve that. I will be slowing down and not doing as much repetitive motion. So I have to allocate how I allocate. I don?t want to exclude anyone. But at some point I will be sharing some of this lesson in a way to bring ?grief relief? conversations to people that I know are struggling harder than I am at this time. There are a lot of them out in the world and I found a unique way to possibly reach them. I am excited that this negative was a bigger positive!!! And CQ you have the FS competitions really on lock. I will definitely come in from time to time and see how I can shake it up! But at this time, it is more demanding than what I can stay completely on the top of! I know your going through changes too! I know that you will find a rhythm soon as well. Mine was forced. I am making applesauce and lemonade. I will try to come and creatively learn more from you when I can, but I have to say that just reading your writing is enough!!! I learn to let my mind escape!!! It is the best feeling in the world - it is something that every writer wants their reader to do. To immerse their reader fully in the world they create and you have always, and will always do that for me! Whether it is a short poem or a drawn out chapter story, it makes no difference I am transported! So thank you again. And know that I will be dropping in and out as much as I can! I am doing the very best to care for myself. And when we get that chance to meet I will buy you a whole pot of coffee and then some!!! Hugs and love Fonda (sorry if you see a lot of ?) I had to use my phone to do this review they are either dashes parentheses or apostrophes that FS mobile does not like to properly insert :( I wish I could have copied over to laptop but I am trying to use thumbs mid week... also you can thank Chas24 for his extra bumps that placed it at #4 - he rocks!!! I had put it at 26 or so and he came in and was the first to read... so I guess everyone will be seeing at least a few more grateful poems from me eh??? Lol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a brilliant idea, and one that is so acceptable because we can bring those memories out whenever we want to without carrying them heavily in our hearts all the time. It could also have a 'memory time' when we feel especially needing of comfort, we can put the coat on and bring out our favourite memories. Love it. Your poem is perfectly rhymed for the contest, and as I read it down the page, it had me nodding with agreement all the way through. Well done, and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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What a brilliant idea, and one that is so acceptable because we can bring those memories out whenever we want to without carrying them heavily in our hearts all the time. It could also have a 'memory time' when we feel especially needing of comfort, we can put the coat on and bring out our favourite memories. Love it. Your poem is perfectly rhymed for the contest, and as I read it down the page, it had me nodding with agreement all the way through. Well done, and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Thank you so kindly. YM gave the advice. She?s extraordinary and there?s more to come... in my gratitude for her.
Very grateful for your review as well!
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, an undeniably striking and warm tribute extended to one who demonstrated both friendship and comfort at a sad time in the writer's life - it's message of gratitude is clear and expresses a hopeful response, as a consequence...
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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In my opinion, an undeniably striking and warm tribute extended to one who demonstrated both friendship and comfort at a sad time in the writer's life - it's message of gratitude is clear and expresses a hopeful response, as a consequence...
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Thank you so kindly. YM gave the advice. She?s extraordinary and there?s more to come... in my gratitude for her.
Very grateful for your review as well.
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You're very welcome, Fonda...Eve
Comment from Louise Michelle
What a novel idea, Fonda. I think the motion of putting memories into a coat and hanging it up is sort of a physical way to not dwell on a loss all day long. You know it's there, you know what it's for and, psychologically, your allowing yourself to indulge at set times, as opposed to dwelling on sadness all day long.
We all experience loss in our lives and we all have different ways of coping. If this method works for you, then by all means use it. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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What a novel idea, Fonda. I think the motion of putting memories into a coat and hanging it up is sort of a physical way to not dwell on a loss all day long. You know it's there, you know what it's for and, psychologically, your allowing yourself to indulge at set times, as opposed to dwelling on sadness all day long.
We all experience loss in our lives and we all have different ways of coping. If this method works for you, then by all means use it. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Hi Lou,
Thank you so kindly. YM gave the advice. She?s extraordinary and there?s more to come... in my gratitude for her.
Very grateful for your review as well! Cheers, Fonda
Comment from dragonpoet
This poem uses a lot of unusual rhymes that actually make sense. This does seem like a good way to keep your memories from overwhelming you. Have one item that holds all the memories and forget about them until the next time you see the coat.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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This poem uses a lot of unusual rhymes that actually make sense. This does seem like a good way to keep your memories from overwhelming you. Have one item that holds all the memories and forget about them until the next time you see the coat.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Thank you so kindly, dragonpoet I am very grateful for what you offer here. Thank you very much for the luck.
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You are most kindly welcome.
dp
Comment from Raul1
I like how you structured this poem. It is very easy to read and understand. I like this poem. No grammatical errors. Good luck in the contest! Excellent work!
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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I like how you structured this poem. It is very easy to read and understand. I like this poem. No grammatical errors. Good luck in the contest! Excellent work!
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Thank you so kindly, Raul I am very grateful for what you offer here.
YM gave the advice. She's extraordinary and there's more to come... in my gratitude for her.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Fonda, I'm glad that I can give you my last six. It's a wonderful free style poem(Rhyming no less) about how to handle grief. It's such a wonderful concept and what a beautiful advise to receive from another FS writer. I'm glad that it has helped you. Warm regards. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Hi Fonda, I'm glad that I can give you my last six. It's a wonderful free style poem(Rhyming no less) about how to handle grief. It's such a wonderful concept and what a beautiful advise to receive from another FS writer. I'm glad that it has helped you. Warm regards. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Hello Ulla and MRW, thank you so much for the wonderful review and stars... It means the world to me that you offer them up and them being the last as well. Thank you so kindly, I am very grateful for what you offer here I am humbled by the response.
YM gave the advice. She's extraordinary and there's more to come... in my gratitude for her.
I have way more of your writing to review but alas more will have to wait until the weekend... So good the Fisherman's story! I enjoy it so much too! Also, I know I now need to call you with the loving phrase Madam Recognized Writer" or MRW, because I didn't know you had already won it! So hopefully I won't forget. I am slowing down due to doc's orders on my repetitive motions for a bit. To give everything a real shot at coming back online at 100% - maybe even better than before... Here's hoping...But I will just take the pain-free part at this time. Which I have had no pain in my hand now for several weeks which has been a big blessing. I hope all is well on your end! Love and Hugs, Fonda
Comment from susand3022
Hi Fonda,
I like your poem, I'm sorry to hear that you've been going through a rough time. I know how you feel. My family had a rough one recently too.
I do have a couple of suggestions for your poem. The first is that I'm kind of wondering why you used the - in the word 'doable' when it changes the pronunciation. It makes it reader read it with a long A instead of a short one, and then you kind of have to reread it to get the rhyme going. (First suggestion... lose the -)
The second suggestion is that you separate the different parts of the poem. I stopped and worked out the rhyme scheme... (you know I'm like that... lol) and it works out to a 4 line (a,b) - 6 line (c,b) - 5 line (d,b). (as if you don't know already... lol) But it would be easier to read, for the reader, if there was a space between them, so that's my second suggestion.
I know that you know this is just how I talk, so I didn't bother trying to 'write it pretty'... lol because we talk pretty much the same way.
Again, I'm sorry you've been having a rough time of it. I hope you feel better soon. Have some ice cream! ;) (chocolate... my answer to everything!)
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Hi Fonda,
I like your poem, I'm sorry to hear that you've been going through a rough time. I know how you feel. My family had a rough one recently too.
I do have a couple of suggestions for your poem. The first is that I'm kind of wondering why you used the - in the word 'doable' when it changes the pronunciation. It makes it reader read it with a long A instead of a short one, and then you kind of have to reread it to get the rhyme going. (First suggestion... lose the -)
The second suggestion is that you separate the different parts of the poem. I stopped and worked out the rhyme scheme... (you know I'm like that... lol) and it works out to a 4 line (a,b) - 6 line (c,b) - 5 line (d,b). (as if you don't know already... lol) But it would be easier to read, for the reader, if there was a space between them, so that's my second suggestion.
I know that you know this is just how I talk, so I didn't bother trying to 'write it pretty'... lol because we talk pretty much the same way.
Again, I'm sorry you've been having a rough time of it. I hope you feel better soon. Have some ice cream! ;) (chocolate... my answer to everything!)
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Hi Susan,
I wrote the poem in the latter part of June and had sat on it for a while - this was Y.M. Rogers' advice. She gave some really awesome advice that helped me see some things (that even I) wasn't seeing for myself after all these years... It was a simple interaction that she maybe didn't think much of, but her idea sparked something so dramatic in me; that I was really caught off guard. I'm sorry I threw the rhyme off for you. I was really going with my emotive qualities with this one... I hadn't done that in a while - I had stuck to syllable restrictive this and that and it wasn't me... (the real poetic me). The one I started with. I can follow the rules and I can play by the rules like everyone else, but sometimes I want to be the "creator", the "rebel for a cause". This was a cause that I had to write my own rhyme rules for and my own expression of speech. When I came into FS I had a way that I wrote and I still to this day write things that mean something to me in the way I talk - and do-able is just that, do - able. I know you might not remember but I always have entendre in my work. I always have little gems in there. Sometimes people get it and sometimes they don't. Don't get me wrong I loved your suggestions, and even if I wanted to separate as you offered, it was way too late. The train left the station - the contest was close, the reviews were too fast and furious and I only decided to run 2 days. You know when your plans are to do something a certain way - and I know you know what I mean you stick your feet firmly in place. Well, that was this... I think I might have gotten a lot more readers if I didn't put it in paint too - because like before people couldn't see it as it was too small. But I told someone this and I will tell you this too - You can't please everyone 100% - you just can't! So who this was for, was pleased 100% and that was enough. Enough for me and enough for YM. I know that what I need to do from this point forward has altered greatly as a result of her advice.
I'm sorry to hear you have had a rough time too on your end and I do try to keep up. I've had a rough time, a rough life, but remember even out the roughest of things there are times where eventually things turned into diamonds. And I wish that at some point, someday we might sit down and have some chocolate ice cream together. Cause I like your answer too! Thank you for liking my poem. Thank you for reviewing it too. I am very grateful.
Cheers, Fonda
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Evidently you lost a loved one. Sympathy, if it was recent. A coat can bring lots of remembrances. So hold onto yours, because you can never replace the moments. Great.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Evidently you lost a loved one. Sympathy, if it was recent. A coat can bring lots of remembrances. So hold onto yours, because you can never replace the moments. Great.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Thank you so kindly, I am very grateful for what you offer here.
YM gave the advice. She's extraordinary and there's more to come... in my gratitude for her.
Comment from judiverse
Excellent entry for rhyming poetry contest, and best of luck. There is some healing power that can be attributed to a special garment like this coat. It is indeed a "Memory coat." Lovely description of the black leather coat and what it means to you. It is a means of coping with your loss. Every time you wear it brings back special memories. Excellent the interesting use of rhyme. judi
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Excellent entry for rhyming poetry contest, and best of luck. There is some healing power that can be attributed to a special garment like this coat. It is indeed a "Memory coat." Lovely description of the black leather coat and what it means to you. It is a means of coping with your loss. Every time you wear it brings back special memories. Excellent the interesting use of rhyme. judi
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Hi Judi, I am so glad you enjoyed my description and it is also something I referenced in the story I wrote about my father.
Thank you so kindly, for your review. I am very grateful to you and for what is offered here.
I have to give credit for the idea to - YM Roger as she gave the advice. She's extraordinary and there's more to come... in my gratitude for her. I am very blessed to have people around like you who found my poem, and all the amazing people like you and her that always seem to find a way to write to me in a way that is uplifting and powerful. So thank you!
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You're welcome. A wonderful story in a poem. judi
