Monica
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Monica Chapter 4"A woman becomes fixated on Rob
13 total reviews
Comment from royowen
After her experiences with another nutter in David Lawson, now she's got another in Monica, a spoilt narcissistic woman, whose daddy keeps her in a opulent manner, she invades Rob and Sarah's house, rearranging things, arrogantly, but perhaps leaving her prints everywhere. Well done, Rox an excellent episode, well done, blessings, Roy
Typo had no desire to be saddle(d)
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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After her experiences with another nutter in David Lawson, now she's got another in Monica, a spoilt narcissistic woman, whose daddy keeps her in a opulent manner, she invades Rob and Sarah's house, rearranging things, arrogantly, but perhaps leaving her prints everywhere. Well done, Rox an excellent episode, well done, blessings, Roy
Typo had no desire to be saddle(d)
Comment Written 05-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Yes, poor Sarah, she can't seem to get away from crazy people. Bummer. Thanks for the corrections, I fixed it. Thanks for the great review. Rox
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Welcome Rox
Comment from Teri7
This is another very interesting chapter you have penned my friend. I found a few small nits to fix:
Let's see what kind of things they kept here.
This did not sound quite right to me - maybe something like - Let's see what kind of things (are) kept here.
love and blessings, Teri
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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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This is another very interesting chapter you have penned my friend. I found a few small nits to fix:
Let's see what kind of things they kept here.
This did not sound quite right to me - maybe something like - Let's see what kind of things (are) kept here.
love and blessings, Teri
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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I rewrote the part you commented on, I had to take out some inaccurate info and redo a few things. It's good to do better research before posting. ={ Thanks so much dear. Rox
Comment from Alex Rosel
This is an enjoyable read. I can well believe someone of Sarah's disposition behaving in this manner. It's a good hook to have readers wanting to read more :)
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
She could always cut Sarah out of the picture -- I like this. It acts both as an intention, and as a metaphor :)
She replaced the letter and turn on the desktop. -- Spag? I don't understand this. "turn on the desktop" what?
Monica had a high IQ and had graduated top of her class from Cambridge. -- This doesn't fit. Are you referring to Cambridge University here? If so, there is no "class" as such, and Cambridge University doesn't rank students. Graduates are awarded a degree which is allotted one of four categories.
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reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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This is an enjoyable read. I can well believe someone of Sarah's disposition behaving in this manner. It's a good hook to have readers wanting to read more :)
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
She could always cut Sarah out of the picture -- I like this. It acts both as an intention, and as a metaphor :)
She replaced the letter and turn on the desktop. -- Spag? I don't understand this. "turn on the desktop" what?
Monica had a high IQ and had graduated top of her class from Cambridge. -- This doesn't fit. Are you referring to Cambridge University here? If so, there is no "class" as such, and Cambridge University doesn't rank students. Graduates are awarded a degree which is allotted one of four categories.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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Hi, thanks so much for the helps. I fixed Cambridge, just took the whole thing out. I must have looked it up wrong or confused it. Sorry about that. A desktop is a computer that sit on your desk as apposed to one that is a laptop. But I'll add computer in case it is confusing. Thanks so much. Rox
