What Shoes Will I Wear Today?
A mile in my own or someone else's?8 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Your poem is so good to read. Kind brings a person home, to their own life and what we wear on their feet. One thing about footwear, we can never be without shoes Love the lyrics.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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Your poem is so good to read. Kind brings a person home, to their own life and what we wear on their feet. One thing about footwear, we can never be without shoes Love the lyrics.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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Thanks so much for your lovely review, much appreciated!
Comment from Jesse James Doty
The best part of this poem is the title and the line above it. "A mile in my own or someone else's?" Although your poem rhymed and flowed and was fun and clever, it did not address the top line, which I had hoped would be addressed in this. Walking in someone else's shoes is an excellent choice to draw readers in, and to discuss. But alas, you only allude to this subject in the line "or skidding in slaughterhouse blood?" How that would feel, to work as someone in a position such as this, is not discussed. I'd like to know more about walking in other's shoes. Otherwise, you cover everything about your shoes, quite well. The photo of your used boots is interesting, as well as your author's notes.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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The best part of this poem is the title and the line above it. "A mile in my own or someone else's?" Although your poem rhymed and flowed and was fun and clever, it did not address the top line, which I had hoped would be addressed in this. Walking in someone else's shoes is an excellent choice to draw readers in, and to discuss. But alas, you only allude to this subject in the line "or skidding in slaughterhouse blood?" How that would feel, to work as someone in a position such as this, is not discussed. I'd like to know more about walking in other's shoes. Otherwise, you cover everything about your shoes, quite well. The photo of your used boots is interesting, as well as your author's notes.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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Thanks for your review James. I was trying to get inside other people's lives while I was writing the poem. Most of those shoes i mentioned aren't ones I wear myself... I don't ever 'saunter the mall or flirt at balls', and I don't do ballet. I tried to get in metaphoric mentions of spirituality and caring and service, so this poem is a continuation of those themes alluded to in the 2 lines you commented on.
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Thank you for the clarification. I am sorry I wasn't able to pick up on that. My mistake. No worries.
Jesse
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It's not a mistake of understanding. It might mean I was too subtle in my expression. Just because I knew what I meant doesn't mean I made it clear enough for others to understand.
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Evil is very slippery. Truth is too.
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Ignore that last reply about evil and truth, Jesse... I sent it to the wrong person... I was doing another review at the same time.
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Thank you for your gracious response. I am not sure if others understood. I just know I didn't and I wish I had.
Jesse
Comment from ava3kangaroo
This is a very funny and clever poem! I really enjoyed reading it. Great job! That's kind of like how I feel every morning when I'm getting dressed! :) Good luck with the contest!
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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This is a very funny and clever poem! I really enjoyed reading it. Great job! That's kind of like how I feel every morning when I'm getting dressed! :) Good luck with the contest!
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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Thanks for your review. It seems that both of us have too many shoes to choose from!
Comment from Raul1
This is a very well written poem. It has a chance of winning a contest. I like the originality of this poem. No grammatical errors. Good luck in the contest! Excellent work!
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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This is a very well written poem. It has a chance of winning a contest. I like the originality of this poem. No grammatical errors. Good luck in the contest! Excellent work!
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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Thank you so much for your nice review, Raul.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements splendidly with a clear focus on the topic of shoes. The rhyme and meter are solid throughout making for an enjoyable reading experience. Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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This meets the contest requirements splendidly with a clear focus on the topic of shoes. The rhyme and meter are solid throughout making for an enjoyable reading experience. Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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I appreciate your review, thank you.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about the shoes we wear every day. It mostly depends on where we are going, and what we plan to do. Shoes cover our feet and protect them from sharp and harmful objects.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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A very well-written poem about the shoes we wear every day. It mostly depends on where we are going, and what we plan to do. Shoes cover our feet and protect them from sharp and harmful objects.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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Thanks for your review, Sandra. I guess most of us have too many shoes lurking at the bottom of the cupboard.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Your hiking boots look comfortable because they are well worn and moulded to your feet, they have seen some life by the looks of them, but skidding in a slaughterhouse? That sounds fearful? The next poem should be about your hat, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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Your hiking boots look comfortable because they are well worn and moulded to your feet, they have seen some life by the looks of them, but skidding in a slaughterhouse? That sounds fearful? The next poem should be about your hat, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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Thanks for your review, Dolly. My hiking boots have been many places, but never to a slaughterhouse. In NZ the abattoir workers wear white gumboots.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I like the gratitude here in the middle of the poem. It definitely is a blessing to have feet and hands to tie the shoelaces. It sounds like shoes were beginning to be a symbol of the status in life as well, with the lines: Can I keep my shoes every day
in a clean and wholesome state?
My life is so mired - can you relate?
Your author notes have some humor, there, too. I guess "waterproof" often means "showing proof that water will still get in, but at least not as much as a flood."
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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I like the gratitude here in the middle of the poem. It definitely is a blessing to have feet and hands to tie the shoelaces. It sounds like shoes were beginning to be a symbol of the status in life as well, with the lines: Can I keep my shoes every day
in a clean and wholesome state?
My life is so mired - can you relate?
Your author notes have some humor, there, too. I guess "waterproof" often means "showing proof that water will still get in, but at least not as much as a flood."
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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Thanks for your extensive review... it shows you spent a bit of time with my poem. I was trying for a hint of symbolism without being too preachy.
