Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

So a little teleportation is what scares a fearless cowboy. Eric is being patient with Thomas and following the manners he was taught, but needed to break them so they can rescue the girl from her Indian captors.
Keep writing
Joan

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2019

---

reply by the author on 10-Aug-2019

LOL, yes! What a wimp! Thank you so much for reading this part, Joan, I really appreciate it. :)) Sandra xx

reply by dragonpoet on 10-Aug-2019

You are most kindly welcome, Sandra.
Joan

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Good continuation of the tale here. poor old Thomas. I wonder if he can get hurt?

The dialect seems to come and go with ya/you and git/get.

He then rolled up a couple of blankets and tied them onto his saddle. The nights can get pretty cold.- I would use could get or got rather than can here.

he muttered under his breath.- probably don't need under his breath here as muttering suggests this.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2019

---

reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019

Thank you, Gareth, I'll go over all the previous parts and check those, gits and gets, and yas and yous out. It weird that it never clicks in my head what I've been doing. :( I'll make sure that doesn't happen in the future chapters. I did a double-take when I saw this review from you, and then saw it's part 4. Thanks for catching up and for another lovely helpful review. :)) Sandra xxx

Comment from alexisleech

Exceptional

Another great chapter, Sandra. I'm sure Eric will be delighted when he eventually gets to read the new book. Only one suggestion - "Are these the Indians who took your girl?" he [asked] (said) in an awed whisper.
Looking forward to the next chapter!

Alexis xxx

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2019

---

reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019

Thank you so much for the lovely six stars, my wonderful friend! I'll change that! Big hugs my friend. xxxxx Sandra

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Hi Sandra. This is another good chapter to your story. Well described and interesting. I saw just a couple of things to fix:
"Eric was really grateful that Herbie didn't sleep. He'd watch over him. (remove .) (and) And Gizmo."

"Mr (add .) Thomas" (7th P from bottom)
Marilyn

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2019

---

reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019

Thank you so much for reading this part, Marilyn, and for your helpful suggestions. 'And Gizmo ... That was meant to read Gizmo would watch over him. too. I've changed that to make it clearer. The other point you raised about the full stop (period) in the UK we don't put one after the Mr/Mrs/ Lord/ HRS etc. I believe Humpwhistle (Lee)has now adopted our way of doing it. That is just one of our differences. Thank you, my friend, for the lovely review. :)) Sandra xx

reply by BeasPeas on 03-Aug-2019

Hi Sandra. That's interesting. There are differences depending on country and so forth. I didn't know that there was no (.) after.

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Sandra,

Fascinating! I'm not sure how I've been missing this. Silly me. I'll have to be much more careful in the future. This is a cool story and I can imagine that young boys and girls will truly love this imaginative and unusual tale. Thanks!

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2019

---

reply by the author on 01-Aug-2019

Aw, thank you, Robin! I'm writing these adventures for my Grandson Eric. It was his idea that I write a book about him. We are hoping this will add to his determination to deal with his dyslexia. The headmaster of his new special needs school has ordered copies of the first adventure, which chuffed me to bits! I'm delighted to have you along! Now to sort out some Indians! :)) Sandra xx

Comment from Dance4Joy

Good

Great poem!!!!!!! I really thoroughly enjoyed reading this! I love the way it flowed and the context too!!!
You did a Great job!!!!!!
Sorry I don't have more to say, I just really really enjoyed this!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2019

---

reply by the author on 01-Aug-2019

LOL!! for anyone reading this, she has been kicked off the site. This review is the same one as every other 'Poem???) she's reviewed. Beware, she came back with another name and did the same thing with the same words. She has been kicked off again!

Comment from Pam (respa)

Exceptional

-Great image and story, Sandra.
-It flows from beginning to end.
-Lots of preparations had to
be made for this journey.
-A touching moment between Annie and Eric.
-Eric is excited about camping and shared
a bit of disappointment that he can't
say anything to his friends back home,
but you never know!
-A little bit of humor from Thomas
as he comments about Eric never
having had to build a fire at home!
-The last part ends with some good
action as Thomas and his horse
literally take off at the speed of light!
-I don't think he adapted to that well.
-A very good chapter, my friend.

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2019

---

reply by the author on 01-Aug-2019

Thank you!! I've just read your PM and I'm sitting here glowing in your high praise! This is a wonderful review, dear friend, and the stars are always the bonus on top of your exceptionally kind words. Bless your heart!! Big gest ever hugs!! :)) Sandra xxx

reply by Pam (respa) on 01-Aug-2019

You are very welcome and deserving of the stars, review, and "high praise," Sandra. 🙂🙂back to you!

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

I liked the catchy beginning, nice taletelling, polished and balanced plot development, contributory and realistic dialogues, round characterization, curious ending; well said, well done. Enjoyed the read. Keep Writing, Inspiring, Changing

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2019

---

reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019

Thank you so much, ALD, I really appreciate your coming and reading this part in my story. That is so kind of you! I'm delighted you enjoyed the read. :)) Sandra xx

Comment from Lance S. Loria

Excellent

Another chapter with Herbie. Very entertaining read throughout. No edits or adjustments necessary from me. The introductory and ending notes were helpful.

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2019

---

reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019

Thank you for another lovely review, Lance! I'm so pleased that you are enjoying my story. Big hugs. :)) Sandra xx

Comment from rspoet

Exceptional

Hello Sandra,
A marvelous continuation of the story
I'm not an expert on old west dialect, but it reads very well to my ears.
(Lee, Humpwhistle and Earl Corp are two of the best)

I like Eric's statement about not being able to tell anyone about his adventures. It just isn't fair, is it? Of course, maybe someone will put them all into a book. Then everyone would have to believe it!

One thing:
"his rifle which he opened to make sure he'd put bullets in both barrels."
I'm not an expert on rifles either, but they usually have one barrel in this time period. Shotguns may have two.

Great finish. Thomas' reaction is perfect.

Note: the last lines are in a smaller font size on my screen.

Another wonderful chapter. my friend.
Well done!

Robert

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2019

---

reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019

I'm glad you told me about the rifle, I've changed that now. I like it to be as near factual as possible when it comes to things like that. I hadn't noticed the different font size, either. I've put that right, too! Thank you, Robert, your review is just lovely! Do you know, your suggestion about someone writing about Eric's adventures is really good! I'll ask him if he'd like that! LOL. Sending a big hug for all those shiny stars, my dear friend!! :)) Sandra xxx