This Body Of Water
Our bodies contain a high percentage of water.9 total reviews
Comment from Janice Canerdy
I really enjoyed this exuberant, informative, highly descriptive poem!
The importance of water cannot be over-emphasized. As you say, it IS life. And to think of how I take it for granted!
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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I really enjoyed this exuberant, informative, highly descriptive poem!
The importance of water cannot be over-emphasized. As you say, it IS life. And to think of how I take it for granted!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you liked it. Water is too precious, and will become more so... as an Australian I am very aware of drought conditions so I never take water for granted!
Comment from Mia Twysted
Interesting how you took this talking about the water that keeps our bodies alive and kicking. You don't think about the fact that we are made of water and without we would be dust in the wind.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Interesting how you took this talking about the water that keeps our bodies alive and kicking. You don't think about the fact that we are made of water and without we would be dust in the wind.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Thanks for reviewing, Mia. I was surprised to learn what a high percentage of water we contain.
Comment from JLR
This nailed for me, your graphic all the way to the poignant last lines. I am very stingy with these sixes, but this deserves it and more, good luck the booth.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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This nailed for me, your graphic all the way to the poignant last lines. I am very stingy with these sixes, but this deserves it and more, good luck the booth.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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I'm glad my poem managed to prise your grip loose! Thanks so much for the terrific review.
Comment from moongirlwriter
Very clever and also so very true. There were a couple of places that I had to reread to clarity and flow. Maybe you could give it a try outloud and then add just a word or two more? Nicely done. . .I do so love water and appreciate your lesson for us.
So sorry for the delayed reply. I wanted to point out just a couple of places and see what you think. Stanza 3, too should be used only once.
also stanza 3, 2nd line. . .cell structure (it doesn't quite flow) with the rest of the stanza and last but not least. . .we'd (all)stay specs of sand (only for flow, maybe meter?) I really love this little poem and as I'm reading it aloud again, I think you should do a little revising and submit it to a magazine for kids (maybe 10/12 year olds). The bottom line is, this is YOUR poem and if it works for you. . .then keep it as it is with my blessing. :)
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Very clever and also so very true. There were a couple of places that I had to reread to clarity and flow. Maybe you could give it a try outloud and then add just a word or two more? Nicely done. . .I do so love water and appreciate your lesson for us.
So sorry for the delayed reply. I wanted to point out just a couple of places and see what you think. Stanza 3, too should be used only once.
also stanza 3, 2nd line. . .cell structure (it doesn't quite flow) with the rest of the stanza and last but not least. . .we'd (all)stay specs of sand (only for flow, maybe meter?) I really love this little poem and as I'm reading it aloud again, I think you should do a little revising and submit it to a magazine for kids (maybe 10/12 year olds). The bottom line is, this is YOUR poem and if it works for you. . .then keep it as it is with my blessing. :)
Comment Written 28-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Thanks for your review and your comments. Any hints about which bits didn't flow ok? I do read my poems out loud during and after I write them... any advice received with gratitude. I think the American and New Zealand inflection are slightly different.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is REALLY a creative approach to the prompt and I hope that the CEC views it as such since it IS a worthy entry and deserves the right to compete. The rhyme and meter are well executed throughout making it an enjoyable read both silently and aloud. Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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This is REALLY a creative approach to the prompt and I hope that the CEC views it as such since it IS a worthy entry and deserves the right to compete. The rhyme and meter are well executed throughout making it an enjoyable read both silently and aloud. Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Thanks for reviewing!
Comment from Patty Palmer
OMG!! This is simply hilarious! I think it was absolutely great! I think because I'm a nurse so I knew all you were talking about. I would have never thought to do that, Good luck in the contest!
Patty
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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OMG!! This is simply hilarious! I think it was absolutely great! I think because I'm a nurse so I knew all you were talking about. I would have never thought to do that, Good luck in the contest!
Patty
Comment Written 28-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Thanks for your terrific review! Interesting to learn that you are a nurse. I admire you for that profession.
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You're welcome! Yep I'm a nurse for over 30 years
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You must be exhausted. My neighbour was nursing for many years and it did her back in.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Oh my, this reminds me way to much of all of the science I had to take in college. It is a delightfully fun poem even though on a serious subject. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Oh my, this reminds me way to much of all of the science I had to take in college. It is a delightfully fun poem even though on a serious subject. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 28-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much for reviewing!
Comment from Y. M. Roger
What a very cool H2O offering for this contest...so very unique and completely appealing to the nerds out there (like me)! :) You have so very eloquently addressed just how important and healing water is to our bodies.... great job! ;) ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck at the polls! ;) ;)
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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What a very cool H2O offering for this contest...so very unique and completely appealing to the nerds out there (like me)! :) You have so very eloquently addressed just how important and healing water is to our bodies.... great job! ;) ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck at the polls! ;) ;)
Comment Written 28-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Thanks Yvette. You and I are similarly nerdy it seems.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I liked your closing words, very poignant and you make a good point about our body and inside us are the healing waters! Yes we can live without food for a while, but not without water, wise words here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
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I liked your closing words, very poignant and you make a good point about our body and inside us are the healing waters! Yes we can live without food for a while, but not without water, wise words here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 28-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
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Thanks for your review Dolly. In the contest everyone else was writing poems about rivers and lakes; I went in a different direction. I never like to be predictable.
