Wednesday, Library Day
A fun true story of a day at the library with granddaughter8 total reviews
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Though paragraphs are too bulky, still I like the humour and style of expression and order of taletelling is appreciable in terms of sentiment and feeling exposition; well said, well done. I enjoyed the read. Keep Writing, Inspiring, Changing
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Though paragraphs are too bulky, still I like the humour and style of expression and order of taletelling is appreciable in terms of sentiment and feeling exposition; well said, well done. I enjoyed the read. Keep Writing, Inspiring, Changing
Comment Written 06-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Thank you so much for this great review. I enjoy writing and I am enjoying time at our local library as well.
Comment from Cindy Warren
That sounds like a fun day with your granddaughter. I used to take my kids when they were little. They had plays, stories,etc. The grandkids were never interested, but I hope there will always be libraries for anyone who is. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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That sounds like a fun day with your granddaughter. I used to take my kids when they were little. They had plays, stories,etc. The grandkids were never interested, but I hope there will always be libraries for anyone who is. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Thank you so much for this great review. The library tends to be my happy place these days!
Comment from MamaBebop
Maureen, I just adored your true story. I am home with my 3 girls this summer and we make the weekly library trip as well and I cherish it. I hope and pray I am teaching them the values you mentioned in your story as well as making memories to last a lifetime. Blessings.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Maureen, I just adored your true story. I am home with my 3 girls this summer and we make the weekly library trip as well and I cherish it. I hope and pray I am teaching them the values you mentioned in your story as well as making memories to last a lifetime. Blessings.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Oh, I am so thrilled that you enjoyed this short story. I am finding that I have been writing a lot of material in regard to my time spent with her these days. I like to write with a bit of humor as well. Thank you so much for this wonderful review, I truly appreciate it.
Comment from the13thpoet
Good Monday morning Maureen. I enjoyed reading your story for multiple reasons, one being that I work at the local library in my town. The other reason is your last paragraph, that's good advice that any parent worth their salt should follow. Thanks for sharing, good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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Good Monday morning Maureen. I enjoyed reading your story for multiple reasons, one being that I work at the local library in my town. The other reason is your last paragraph, that's good advice that any parent worth their salt should follow. Thanks for sharing, good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much for this great review I truly appreciate you taking the time to review my work. I enjoy writing and also enjoy learning from the FanStory people and community. Yes, I also enjoy my local libraries and I cannot stress enough to my family and friends how useful it can be to use them. Thank you too, for all you do in that regard.
Comment from Alex Rosel
This is a delightful tale. I enjoyed reading it. It's so obviously true:)
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
I have her for the week because her mother is away for the week due to scheduled training with her job. -- Maybe omit one of the for the weeks? Repetition tends to detract from the pace of the prose.
Glue stick working its' wonder, -- The possessive "its" doesn't have an apostrophe. It's only used for the contraction "it is". Omit it here.
the library quickly filters out -- I like this turn of phrase. It's succinct and it hones in on the detail you're giving :)
Near the old fireplace just under the large moose sits a leather black chair that I enjoy sitting in while Kennedy looks at books -- If this was mine, I'd add a comma after just under the large moose.
this could have truly been a disastrous moment for he and I! -- This is a bit archaic. I'd simply say this could have truly been a disastrous moment for him and me!
Good luck with the competition :)
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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This is a delightful tale. I enjoyed reading it. It's so obviously true:)
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
I have her for the week because her mother is away for the week due to scheduled training with her job. -- Maybe omit one of the for the weeks? Repetition tends to detract from the pace of the prose.
Glue stick working its' wonder, -- The possessive "its" doesn't have an apostrophe. It's only used for the contraction "it is". Omit it here.
the library quickly filters out -- I like this turn of phrase. It's succinct and it hones in on the detail you're giving :)
Near the old fireplace just under the large moose sits a leather black chair that I enjoy sitting in while Kennedy looks at books -- If this was mine, I'd add a comma after just under the large moose.
this could have truly been a disastrous moment for he and I! -- This is a bit archaic. I'd simply say this could have truly been a disastrous moment for him and me!
Good luck with the competition :)
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review and also for the grammar check and changes. I made the necessary edits and I believe it does read better. Thanks again for your positive feedback, it is truly appreciated.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job, Maureen, telling this story of your busy day with Kennedy. I enjoyed reading it. There is great flow, interesting recollections, and a good lesson for all kids. Thanks for sharing. Jan
glue stick its'-->its
scarf around its' neck-->its
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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You did a great job, Maureen, telling this story of your busy day with Kennedy. I enjoyed reading it. There is great flow, interesting recollections, and a good lesson for all kids. Thanks for sharing. Jan
glue stick its'-->its
scarf around its' neck-->its
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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Thank you for taking the time to review my work and I appreciate your information with the grammar check as well (I made the necessary edits). I feel it does read much better now. Thanks again.
Comment from Patty Palmer
I enjoyed this upbeat story of a trip to the Library for story time along with her granddaughter. Nothing epic about it,
just the any normal day fun.
God bless
Patty
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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I enjoyed this upbeat story of a trip to the Library for story time along with her granddaughter. Nothing epic about it,
just the any normal day fun.
God bless
Patty
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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Yes, thank you. I like writing from day to day experiences and with a bit of humor thrown in (haha). Thanks again.
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You're welcome
Comment from Ricky1024
'Wednesday, Library Day"
Is a True Story Contest Entry.
It was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
...
It read and flowed well with no Grammar issues as well.
...
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional.
...
Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Good luck with this and have a great day.
Ricky
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
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'Wednesday, Library Day"
Is a True Story Contest Entry.
It was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
...
It read and flowed well with no Grammar issues as well.
...
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional.
...
Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Good luck with this and have a great day.
Ricky
Comment Written 28-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
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Thank you so very much for this great review. I am enjoying the whole writing process now that I am retired. Truly appreciate the review.
