Debt Collector
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Fight for Freedom"Unpaid loans can be deadly.
8 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Misty, I daresay this is a chapter full of action.The little baby is dead, that's so tragic, but Julie and Abby gets away only for July to be caught again. But will Abby manage to get help. And now Jeff's on his path of revenge. I think 'Noone' in the last sentence should be 'None'. Good read. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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Hi Misty, I daresay this is a chapter full of action.The little baby is dead, that's so tragic, but Julie and Abby gets away only for July to be caught again. But will Abby manage to get help. And now Jeff's on his path of revenge. I think 'Noone' in the last sentence should be 'None'. Good read. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 22-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind review I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. The last chapter is going to be just as exciting. I hope you stay tuned to the end.
Thank you again for all your support and for catching my mistake. It's always greatly appreciated, take care.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Wow! What an exciting chapter! Finally, Jeff shoots Bambini. I loved it! Wait till he learns his wife and child are not dead after all. I think the DA will understand that Jeff had no choice, given the monster who forced him to commit crimes.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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Wow! What an exciting chapter! Finally, Jeff shoots Bambini. I loved it! Wait till he learns his wife and child are not dead after all. I think the DA will understand that Jeff had no choice, given the monster who forced him to commit crimes.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much for your fantastic six-star. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much, that definitely made my week. There's one chapter left and it too is packed full of excitement and emotions. I hope you stick around to the end.
Thank you again for all your help, support, friendship, and encouragement. It means a great deal to me, take care.
Comment from Cindy Warren
What a sad ending. For a minute there I thought Julie was going to get away. At least Steven and Bambini got what they deserved. According to a writing class I took, you shouldn't put numbers in your sentences. The cops should have found ten kilos of cocaine. Dates are OK, but other than that numbers should be spelled out.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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What a sad ending. For a minute there I thought Julie was going to get away. At least Steven and Bambini got what they deserved. According to a writing class I took, you shouldn't put numbers in your sentences. The cops should have found ten kilos of cocaine. Dates are OK, but other than that numbers should be spelled out.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter, but this isn't the end. One last person gets their revenge in the final chapter.
Thank you again for your kind review all your help support and friendship it means a lot to me. Thank you for the tip, I'll fix it now, take care.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Misytdawn
You have a way to keep a reader feeling they must continue reading your story that puts fear into me of how you show the violence all through this chapter was intense. Well done.
Gert
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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Hello Misytdawn
You have a way to keep a reader feeling they must continue reading your story that puts fear into me of how you show the violence all through this chapter was intense. Well done.
Gert
Comment Written 21-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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I'm so tickled to hear from you and do hope all is going well. Thank you so much for coming out of fanstory retirement to read my story, that means the world to me, makes my week.
Believe it or not, I'm a nonviolent, nature-loving person in real life who wouldn't dream of hurting a soul unless they hurt my kids or furry babies then it's so on.
Thank you again for your wonderful review it means the world to me. Know, dear friend that you're always in my prayers, take care.
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You are so welcome Misty Dawn
I'm doing quite well from getting over a stroke I had in late april where I lost part of my vision in both of my eyes with thepary.
Gert
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I'm so glad you're doing better, getting the help that you need. Take care of yourself, hope to hear from you again soon. Even a hello would do.
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Thank you Misty Dawn
for your nice message.
Gert
Comment from Ben1
I really liked the first chapter and look foreword to reading the next. It really pulled me in with the three story's twining together. From what I can tell you are also showing that the bad guys also have families like with that guys daughter, and that there is wretched stuff on both sides of the story. The first part reminded me of a book I enjoy called "I hunt killers". Though you missed a quotation your dialogue was great and it is hard to make good dialogue. Good story hope to see more of it.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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I really liked the first chapter and look foreword to reading the next. It really pulled me in with the three story's twining together. From what I can tell you are also showing that the bad guys also have families like with that guys daughter, and that there is wretched stuff on both sides of the story. The first part reminded me of a book I enjoy called "I hunt killers". Though you missed a quotation your dialogue was great and it is hard to make good dialogue. Good story hope to see more of it.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much for your encouraging review, I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. This chapter is one from the end.
I will recheck my quotes, thank you for pointing that out.
Thank you again for your great review it's always appreciated, take care/
Comment from royowen
So it sounds like Jeff is going to get his own back, and Julie, having taken care of Abby's escape, and stabbing Steven the other goon descends, but the very brave lady is holding her own against odds. Great action scenes and writing dear girl, it was a most enjoyable Episode, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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So it sounds like Jeff is going to get his own back, and Julie, having taken care of Abby's escape, and stabbing Steven the other goon descends, but the very brave lady is holding her own against odds. Great action scenes and writing dear girl, it was a most enjoyable Episode, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 21-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much for your continued support it's always greatly appreciated. Jeff got even and Julie was able to save one. Hopefully, she'll be able to save the other.
Thank you again for your review, your encouragement and friendship. It means a lot to me, take care.
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Most welcome
Comment from Raul1
I like what you did with this. It is told as a chapter or a complete story. I think that I understood it. Good work. No grammatical errors. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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I like what you did with this. It is told as a chapter or a complete story. I think that I understood it. Good work. No grammatical errors. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 21-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind review, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. It is a bit confusing to come in at the end. In short. Bambini has been blackmailing Jeff. Bambini's crew killed Jeff's family, so Jeff thinks. Jeff gets revenge on Bambini and Luigi. Meanwhile Julie and her youngest daughters Abby tries to escape. Hope that helps.
Thank you again for your great review. It's always appreciated, take care.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Lance S. Loria
I enjoyed reading your work. It kept my attention from the beginning to the end. Complimentary artwork enhanced the reading experience. I have no edits or adjustments necessary.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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I enjoyed reading your work. It kept my attention from the beginning to the end. Complimentary artwork enhanced the reading experience. I have no edits or adjustments necessary.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much for your great review. I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter. Julie and Jeff are doing their best to get out of this horrific mess.
Thank you again for your kind review.nI'ts always greatly appreciated, take care.
