Comment from barbara.wilkey

Exceptional

You already know I enjoy reading this story. It's fun, imaginative, and a young child could get engrossed in it.

A smiled curled Eric's lips as he thought of his alien friend and his son, Zig. (A smile???)

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2019

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reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019

Thank you so much for the wonderful 6 stars, Barbara, and a huge hug for spotting that error! I've corrected it now. Thank you! I'm so pleased you're with me on this story, too. I really appreciate your support, my friend. :)) Sandra xx

Comment from Lobber

Excellent

Hello
I found the action easy to follow even though I'v entered the action mid stream. One section puzzled me. Why is the following in italics? - "They must get lonely. I wouldn't like to live here."
- Lobber

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2019

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reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019

Thank you, Lobber, for coming and reading this story, you haven't missed anything, in fact, the first part is just below this one and still paying. The italics always mean the character's thoughts. I hope you come again. :) Sandra xx

Comment from aryr

Excellent

Very well done Sandra, Eric will be so proud. That was a nice touch to include the short blurb about Eric and the dinosaurs and the purpose of Gizmo. With a chapter ending with a rifle being pointed at Eric definitely is the start of a new adventure. He and Herbie are in the middle of nowhere, nothing to see for miles and miles and his quest is to rescue and save the girl, what an adventure. Well done indeed, hugs, smiles and blessings.

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 Comment Written 15-Jul-2019

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reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019

Thank you so very much for this wonderful review, Alie! I'm glad you liked the little blurb, I thought there are many new readers on FS who would need a little help understanding the how's and wherefores. And of course, there are those like me who have short memories! LOL. I'm so pleased you like the start of the adventure. Big hugs back, my friend. :)) Sandra xx

reply by aryr on 16-Jul-2019

You are so welcome Sandra, naw you don't have a short memory concern lol, hugs back at you.

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

This is a great start on the adventure after the intro chapter, Sandra. I enjoyed reading it. You did a great job with the description of the new place. thanks for the refresher about how the first story began, too. This place will offer many tangents for your story. Jan

Suggestions:

near the top-->horses rear--horse's rear

Also there is a line near the top where Eric is thinking about the first time they went somewhere (paragraph that starts A noise started that he recognized. . . . There is a line that says 'from when they went . . .[ from when sounds odd together maybe from the time when . . .]

You have Herbie 'standing' on a rock [I know form the picture in the first chapter what he looks like, but standing seems odd--maybe perched OR Herbie had landed on a rock]

These are just suggestions.



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 Comment Written 15-Jul-2019

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reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019

They might be, 'just suggestions' Jan, but they are good ones and I've made the changes; thank you so much! I'm delighted you're joining me in this story, I'm so grateful for your support. Thank you, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx