Eric's Epic Adventures
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Next Adventure Begins!"Another adventure for Eric
34 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Sandra,
Another good instalment here. Pitched at just the right level I think for its target audience. Good description and mystery.
one small log cabin standing near-by,- this doesn't need to be hyphenated. Either use the single word or two words.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Hi Sandra,
Another good instalment here. Pitched at just the right level I think for its target audience. Good description and mystery.
one small log cabin standing near-by,- this doesn't need to be hyphenated. Either use the single word or two words.
All the best
G
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Hi again! Thank you for the pointer. I've made, nearby, one word. I know it's not hyphenated, yet I still keep putting one in! Thanks again, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from tfawcus
So, the adventure begins! I like the relationship between Eric and Herbie and th way you're developing it.
A few suggestions:
A smile curled Eric's lips as he thought
what they could expect when they arrive in the horse's time (a curled lip suggests a snarl or a sneer to me, rather than a smile)
Alright or All right? (I was always taught 'all right' but usage changes)
they arrived on the other side(,) as he called it.
all the horse's (horses')feed and their stables.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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So, the adventure begins! I like the relationship between Eric and Herbie and th way you're developing it.
A few suggestions:
A smile curled Eric's lips as he thought
what they could expect when they arrive in the horse's time (a curled lip suggests a snarl or a sneer to me, rather than a smile)
Alright or All right? (I was always taught 'all right' but usage changes)
they arrived on the other side(,) as he called it.
all the horse's (horses')feed and their stables.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much, Tony, for this lovely, helpful review.
I've changed 'curled' I should have known that seeing as I've used it just for that exact reason in another story. I've added the comma, and changed, horse's to horses'. Now I'm looking at the, alright - all right, again.
I remember checking it out once before. 'Alright....' was for an agreement, like, 'Okay', and 'all right...' was described as, 'you are all right... as in everyone got the question right. I think the usage does change, as do many other words these days.
Thank you again, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from alexisleech
You had me at the scene from start to finish. Do I believe that Eric and Herbie can time travel to where the injured horse comes from? Of course I do. The Sandra magic makes me believe every word I read!
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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You had me at the scene from start to finish. Do I believe that Eric and Herbie can time travel to where the injured horse comes from? Of course I do. The Sandra magic makes me believe every word I read!
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Aw, thank you, Alexis, that is so nice of you. Thank you and a big hug for the six stars!!! That is so kind of you, my wonderful friend. :)) Sandra xxxx
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
This will be an interesting adventure. Going back in time to cowboy days. Did they have cowboys in England? =} We still have lots of them here in the US. How will they hide Herbie and the bike? Well done as always. Looking forward to the next chapter. Rox
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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This will be an interesting adventure. Going back in time to cowboy days. Did they have cowboys in England? =} We still have lots of them here in the US. How will they hide Herbie and the bike? Well done as always. Looking forward to the next chapter. Rox
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Hi Rox, no they didn't have cowboys and Indians in England, but the kids always played their games as if there were. Most wanted to be Indians so they could use their bows and arrows! lol. Thank you for reading, and no, they won't be hiding the bike or Herbie, that's what's going to make it fun! :)) Big hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Sandra:
Mixing aliens with drones, dinosaurs, cowboys and
present time is quite a combo. I need to sign on as
a fan so I can follow this story. I've been gone for
almost a year and am trying to get back into the
swing of things.
jan
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Sandra:
Mixing aliens with drones, dinosaurs, cowboys and
present time is quite a combo. I need to sign on as
a fan so I can follow this story. I've been gone for
almost a year and am trying to get back into the
swing of things.
jan
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Thank you so very much for joining the story, and for fanning me! It's such a lovely feeling when I get a new fan. Thank you! Lots will be happening in this story, so welcome, and I hope you enjoy it. :) Sandra xx
Comment from royowen
Poor old Eric is in a Tiz, they've successfully gone back in times to where the wounded horse had presumably come from. The wound had been healed by the eyes of Herbie. Eric finds this isolated, had a cabin with a man and a gun, wow. Exciting Sandra, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Poor old Eric is in a Tiz, they've successfully gone back in times to where the wounded horse had presumably come from. The wound had been healed by the eyes of Herbie. Eric finds this isolated, had a cabin with a man and a gun, wow. Exciting Sandra, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Thank you, Roy, I'm glad you liked it. I have to make it really exciting for Eric, so there will be lots of things going on. I'm so pleased you are coming along too. Bless you, my dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx
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Welcome Sandra
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
this horse has come from the past <-- Don't tell me you're writing another time travel story! Not a good idea after just publishing THREE of them. I hope the time travel is only one of their adventures and you keep it short.
This is for kids, right? In that case, it won't be read by the same people who will read Veronica's story, so I guess the time travel is okay here. Kids like space travel, aliens, and such, so they'd probably like time travel too. The weirder, the better, especially for boys!
Superb writing, as usual. Didn't find much to correct, Just this:
"No, I don't think we'll ever go back there," Herbie told him.
Eric thought he detected a slight sadness in his reply, which was totally rubbish seeing as his voice was robotic.
Since different people are speaking/thinking, those sentences must each have their own paragraphs, as shown above.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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this horse has come from the past <-- Don't tell me you're writing another time travel story! Not a good idea after just publishing THREE of them. I hope the time travel is only one of their adventures and you keep it short.
This is for kids, right? In that case, it won't be read by the same people who will read Veronica's story, so I guess the time travel is okay here. Kids like space travel, aliens, and such, so they'd probably like time travel too. The weirder, the better, especially for boys!
Superb writing, as usual. Didn't find much to correct, Just this:
"No, I don't think we'll ever go back there," Herbie told him.
Eric thought he detected a slight sadness in his reply, which was totally rubbish seeing as his voice was robotic.
Since different people are speaking/thinking, those sentences must each have their own paragraphs, as shown above.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Yes, this is for kids, mainly for my young grandson Eric. :)) I have to make the story as exciting as possible. He'll be going to Ancient Egypt in the next book where he wants me to have him being chased by a Mummy! Lol. Such fun having grandchildren, which I hope you will find out soon. :)) Thanks for the golden six, my dear friend! Big hugs, Sandra xxx
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Eric must love having input on the books. It's almost like being a co-author! :)
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My thoughts are if he can give me ideas he'll try harder to conquer his dyslexia. That's my hope, anyway. I didn't realise what children had to cope with until Eric was diagnosed with this awful thing. But, he's a determined young man, he'll get there.
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Oh, Eric is dyslexic? I think kids can outgrow that to some extent. I heard that J. D. Rockefeller was dyslexic, and he did all right. Does your school in UK have special help for kids like Eric? Do parents and you know what to do to help him? Our schools are bad at teaching, but they do take care of special-needs students, always involving parents and family.
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Yes, he has struggled a lot at his present school, and now Chris and Sue have found the perfect school, it only has special needs children there and Eric will be one of only 7 children in his class. Sue, is dyslexic and knew straight away what Eric's problem was and had lots of meetings with his present school head teacher but they didn't have the resources or the teachers to do much. So, Chris decided to look for a specialist school. Eric has been to see it and had two days there last week and loved it. I think this will be the best thing for him because he won't stand out as being different, or stupid. He is such an intelligent lad, but so frustrated. This is why I'm writing his books, I didn't want them to be babyish. His new school has brought some of the first book I wrote, which Eric and I are really chuffed about. :))
Comment from BeasPeas
Your story is well written and interesting, especially for young kids. Well described and good scene setting. That this is about your grandson makes it doubly wonderful for him and for your family. I like the idea of the interaction between Eric and Gizmo. Marilyn
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Your story is well written and interesting, especially for young kids. Well described and good scene setting. That this is about your grandson makes it doubly wonderful for him and for your family. I like the idea of the interaction between Eric and Gizmo. Marilyn
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Thank you, Marilyn. He's really excited that I'm writing another book, I have to write one with Eric going back in time to meet the people in ancient Egypt. He's really boosting my imagination. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part, thank you, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from doggymad1
I really love these stories. Eric and Herbie are so good together. The dialogue makes the reader forget that Herb is a drone.
This reminds me of a time when children had imaginary friends and had lots of harmless adventures. They didn't need technology to stimulate their brains
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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I really love these stories. Eric and Herbie are so good together. The dialogue makes the reader forget that Herb is a drone.
This reminds me of a time when children had imaginary friends and had lots of harmless adventures. They didn't need technology to stimulate their brains
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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I think we all had those imaginary friends, we could do so much more with them, and be the boss! Thank you, Freda, for another lovely review, I'm delighted you enjoyed reading it. Big hugs! :)) Sandra xx
Comment from barkingdog
And here I thought 'crikey' was Australian. haha
This was fast moving and fun as they ready for another adventure.
I remember the alien one. Fine reading for young adults.
This brilliant description brought me back to remembering that Herbie is a robot. - "Of course he did," Herbie drawled. His metallic voice sometimes had a way of sounding sarcastic. - It also reminded me of how gifted you are with description. (I could see the farm and even what I suspect is the out house. haha)
Read you again soon.
:) ellen xx
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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And here I thought 'crikey' was Australian. haha
This was fast moving and fun as they ready for another adventure.
I remember the alien one. Fine reading for young adults.
This brilliant description brought me back to remembering that Herbie is a robot. - "Of course he did," Herbie drawled. His metallic voice sometimes had a way of sounding sarcastic. - It also reminded me of how gifted you are with description. (I could see the farm and even what I suspect is the out house. haha)
Read you again soon.
:) ellen xx
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Aw, thank you, Ellen, what a really lovely review. Yes, you guessed what the small shed was! Lol, Eric wouldn't know about such things. I'm so glad you enjoyed this part, it starts hotting up now. Thanks, my friend. :)) Sandra x
