A Light in the Darkness
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Donald Russell part 2"Young rookie detective is assigned a serial case
8 total reviews
Comment from Diana L Crawford
Well at least Sarah got to talk to Don so she could know the truth. I see she's still on the quitting kick! I'm glad that she acknowledges that Rob is obviously madly smitten with her! On to the end, but hopefully you have an even greater story ahead for the PD and the love birds! xoxo
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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Well at least Sarah got to talk to Don so she could know the truth. I see she's still on the quitting kick! I'm glad that she acknowledges that Rob is obviously madly smitten with her! On to the end, but hopefully you have an even greater story ahead for the PD and the love birds! xoxo
Comment Written 17-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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Just one more chapter and one more twist. =} Thanks so much.
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Pins & needles!!!
Comment from JudyE
The loose ends are being tied up nicely.
I picked up a few things:
"The FBI, always doing things behind your back. Why couldn't they let me know Don was working for them. - question mark after 'them'
Rob sped to Sarah's home, lights, and sirens going. - delete comma after 'lights'
He went to the news station and was surprised to see Sarah and David Lawson's picture on the screen. - This sounds a bit as though it's 'Sarah Lawson'. Maybe put David's name first. so 'David Lawson's and Sarah's picture...'
Rob was amazed at how fast they got the story together, but he shouldn't be. - maybe 'but knew he shouldn't be'
He woke two hours later to a knock at the door.
It was Sarah's mom at the door. Maybe delete the second use of 'at the door'
Sarah told her mom she was leaving the force, and her mom was greatly relieved. - Maybe 'Sarah told her mom she was leaving the force, greatly relieving her.
I'm pretty sure they're of the graves site.- should be 'gravesites'
"That would be so great. Sad, but great for the familes." - should be 'families'
Cheers
Judy
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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The loose ends are being tied up nicely.
I picked up a few things:
"The FBI, always doing things behind your back. Why couldn't they let me know Don was working for them. - question mark after 'them'
Rob sped to Sarah's home, lights, and sirens going. - delete comma after 'lights'
He went to the news station and was surprised to see Sarah and David Lawson's picture on the screen. - This sounds a bit as though it's 'Sarah Lawson'. Maybe put David's name first. so 'David Lawson's and Sarah's picture...'
Rob was amazed at how fast they got the story together, but he shouldn't be. - maybe 'but knew he shouldn't be'
He woke two hours later to a knock at the door.
It was Sarah's mom at the door. Maybe delete the second use of 'at the door'
Sarah told her mom she was leaving the force, and her mom was greatly relieved. - Maybe 'Sarah told her mom she was leaving the force, greatly relieving her.
I'm pretty sure they're of the graves site.- should be 'gravesites'
"That would be so great. Sad, but great for the familes." - should be 'families'
Cheers
Judy
Comment Written 17-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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Thank you. I think I got it all fixed. Just one more chapter. =}
Comment from Darlene BoClair
It's like a family crime affair. Parents, friends, co workers coming together to solve the mystery. I still can not imagine Sarah becoming a baker in the Big Sky.. Excited the murder locations for the graves are found. For Mathew, I want more details as to how he really killed his wife. Just curious as to what his drink of choice was. It's horrible how he drowned. What is the chance Sarah will change her mind, for Chief of Detectives sounds like an honor.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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It's like a family crime affair. Parents, friends, co workers coming together to solve the mystery. I still can not imagine Sarah becoming a baker in the Big Sky.. Excited the murder locations for the graves are found. For Mathew, I want more details as to how he really killed his wife. Just curious as to what his drink of choice was. It's horrible how he drowned. What is the chance Sarah will change her mind, for Chief of Detectives sounds like an honor.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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You can read more about the serial killers, Taylor and Matthews in the 'Pre-story', The Girl with the Dead Eyes. It's just 3 parts and is in my portfolio. It centers on them and the wife of Taylor who is haunted by the spirit of one of the dead girls. It will explain a few things for you, maybe. =} Just one more chapter and a twist at the end and the book is done. Thanks so much. Rox
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Thanks, I will read the series.
Comment from royowen
Sarah's mum is particularly angry they hadn't informed her that Sarah was missing, but really it porabably was a good idea, because in Sarah's words, it was pretty well a good idea. An excellent thrilller Rox, will rob and Sarah get together? Well done Rox, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Sarah's mum is particularly angry they hadn't informed her that Sarah was missing, but really it porabably was a good idea, because in Sarah's words, it was pretty well a good idea. An excellent thrilller Rox, will rob and Sarah get together? Well done Rox, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Thank you sir, just one more and The End, and one more surprise. =}
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Well done
Comment from Mistydawn
So there isn't a romance, darn. They would've been good together. The chapter is well-written, tighs everything up nicely. I would've liked to see a romance, but after everything Sara's been through this might not be a good time.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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So there isn't a romance, darn. They would've been good together. The chapter is well-written, tighs everything up nicely. I would've liked to see a romance, but after everything Sara's been through this might not be a good time.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Well, stay tune, just one more chapter and a twist at the end. =] Thanks so much. Rox
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Well, Sarah and Don got that all out of the way and said their goodbye's. Don was very apologetic about the way he treated Sarah. She accepted the apology graciously. She told him she was leaving the police force and opening a doughnut shop. Well done Rox. One more surprise.? Bring it! Nancy:)
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Well, Sarah and Don got that all out of the way and said their goodbye's. Don was very apologetic about the way he treated Sarah. She accepted the apology graciously. She told him she was leaving the police force and opening a doughnut shop. Well done Rox. One more surprise.? Bring it! Nancy:)
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Thanks dear. Rox =}
Comment from the13thpoet
Good Afternoon Roxanna, nice continuation of the story. Tying up loose ends can't always be a thrill a minute. Glad Don's not the killer and Sarah is safe. Looking forward to this surprise. Keep it coming.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Good Afternoon Roxanna, nice continuation of the story. Tying up loose ends can't always be a thrill a minute. Glad Don's not the killer and Sarah is safe. Looking forward to this surprise. Keep it coming.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Okay I will. =} Thanks so much dear. Rox
Comment from robyn corum
Rox,
When you said, in the last chapter, that Sarah is the primary reason the case got solved, I thought she MIGHT reconsider her decision to resign. But, no. She's determined to bake her worries away. Nice chapter!
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Rox,
When you said, in the last chapter, that Sarah is the primary reason the case got solved, I thought she MIGHT reconsider her decision to resign. But, no. She's determined to bake her worries away. Nice chapter!
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Baking is way more fun than serial killers, well kind of. Thank you dear. Rox
