Just Say The Words
Business-Speak is different.62 total reviews
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Just Say The Words", is an extremely well-written and entertaining piece. The power of words are stronger than an out-of-control steamroller! You KEEP WRITING and I'll KEEP READING. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
  |
"Just Say The Words", is an extremely well-written and entertaining piece. The power of words are stronger than an out-of-control steamroller! You KEEP WRITING and I'll KEEP READING. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
-
Thank you!
Comment from LisaMay
Holy cow! That poor bull... no wonder he had a tummy ache.
Your poem explores the difference in conversation style between possible wounding frankness and wishy-washy diplomacy... it can be a fine line to tread to not lose friends or business deals. (I have come to hate the word 'deal'... as in let's make a deal, doing a deal, dealing to someone etc. For me it has connotations of insincerity, manipulation, corruption or aggression.) I digress: Your poem is well-written, gets your point across very well, and is entertaining. It will also make people think about their own way of 'speaking their truth'. I can be both. Yes, I admire honesty and would never want to deliver BS, but having been wounded at times by the bluntness of others I do tend to err on the 'safe' side if a potential harm may occur. Unfortunately, there is not a universal style for delivery, person to person, and culture to culture, and experience to experience. I think we have to read each conversational situation and think first about how to deliver information or reply. (Spoken by someone who doesn't want an argument or to make someone unhappy... gosh, that makes me sound like a fence-sitter.)
I think in the last line it might be 'ensuring' rather than 'insuring'.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
|
Holy cow! That poor bull... no wonder he had a tummy ache.
Your poem explores the difference in conversation style between possible wounding frankness and wishy-washy diplomacy... it can be a fine line to tread to not lose friends or business deals. (I have come to hate the word 'deal'... as in let's make a deal, doing a deal, dealing to someone etc. For me it has connotations of insincerity, manipulation, corruption or aggression.) I digress: Your poem is well-written, gets your point across very well, and is entertaining. It will also make people think about their own way of 'speaking their truth'. I can be both. Yes, I admire honesty and would never want to deliver BS, but having been wounded at times by the bluntness of others I do tend to err on the 'safe' side if a potential harm may occur. Unfortunately, there is not a universal style for delivery, person to person, and culture to culture, and experience to experience. I think we have to read each conversational situation and think first about how to deliver information or reply. (Spoken by someone who doesn't want an argument or to make someone unhappy... gosh, that makes me sound like a fence-sitter.)
I think in the last line it might be 'ensuring' rather than 'insuring'.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
-
I like your blunt self best of all because, since I know you would never deliberately hurt my feelings, I know it's honest and true. It's also usually very funny. So with me, I hope you never do a 'deal.' You trust that I can take whatever you tell me, and you are absolutely right about that. xo
-
Pull ya fuckin' head in, ya idiot!!
-
See why I adore you so!!!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Very true. If you want to make your business successful, you have to play the game. Tell people what they want to hear, make them feel important, and you will get more loyal clients. Same seems to be true for politicians. People don't mind being lied to if it makes them feel good, which is unfortunate. :)
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
|
Very true. If you want to make your business successful, you have to play the game. Tell people what they want to hear, make them feel important, and you will get more loyal clients. Same seems to be true for politicians. People don't mind being lied to if it makes them feel good, which is unfortunate. :)
Comment Written 06-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
-
You know, that's a really good point, Phyllis. I have to say nothing but NOTHING annoys me more than politicians' b.s. I resent the fact that I can watch a political debate in which both candidates are saying diametrically opposite things, and I CANNOT tell which one is telling the truth!!! It makes me out-of-my-mind crazy.
Businesses in which their workers don't even look at me when they say --in their most bored tone of voice-- "Thank you. Have a nice day." make me crazy, too. I have been known to give them my Disappointed Teacher stare and say, "I don't really think you mean that."
More times than not, though, I write it down in my journal entitled, "Things I'd Say If There Were No Repercussions." That's actually quite therapeutic.
Thanks for the review, Phyllis...and I do mean that! xo
Comment from judiverse
This makes an excellent point. The man in your poem has to be careful of what he says in order to please his clients and his boss. That doesn't mean he has to tell outright lies; he just has to be diplomatic. That's understandable. The wife apparently doesn't have the same requirements in her life and feels free to speak her mind. I can see that this won't always work, even among her friends. She may encounter some misunderstandings if she's too blunt with her language. Good job of showing the contrasting points of view. Excellent rhyme in this, and best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
|
This makes an excellent point. The man in your poem has to be careful of what he says in order to please his clients and his boss. That doesn't mean he has to tell outright lies; he just has to be diplomatic. That's understandable. The wife apparently doesn't have the same requirements in her life and feels free to speak her mind. I can see that this won't always work, even among her friends. She may encounter some misunderstandings if she's too blunt with her language. Good job of showing the contrasting points of view. Excellent rhyme in this, and best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 06-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
-
It's true; my friend has no need for a filter. In her defense, she is a very generous and funny-as-all-get-out kind of person. But she doesn't suffer fools. She doesn't like to be molly-coddled, and she doesn't do it, herself. But if she compliments you (and she does do that often), you know it's genuine. I'd always rather have someone like that, with whom I know exactly where I stand, than the person who says one thing to my face and another behind my back.
Thanks for your excellent review. I think the reason I like you is similar, Judi; I feel as if you're always candid. I trust whatever you tell me. xo
Comment from Hitcher
Some people can't handle brutal honesty and get offended easy hence the finely tuned, delicate tongue of the businessman.Trying to keep everyone happy can't be easy : )) Good luck !
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
|
Some people can't handle brutal honesty and get offended easy hence the finely tuned, delicate tongue of the businessman.Trying to keep everyone happy can't be easy : )) Good luck !
Comment Written 06-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
-
No, and there is a fine art to it. Myself, I've never really achieved it. Thanks for the excellent review. xo
Comment from Brenda Henderson
Lol! I would love to hear the response to that last line. This wad great fun to read. It had a lyrical quality. Almost like singing. I found my self reading it aloud with a steady pace and rhythm. Good work. Your readers should be amused.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
|
Lol! I would love to hear the response to that last line. This wad great fun to read. It had a lyrical quality. Almost like singing. I found my self reading it aloud with a steady pace and rhythm. Good work. Your readers should be amused.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
-
Thank you, Brenda. I guess once a music teacher, always a music teacher. Some things I just can NOT shed!!
Anyway, thank you for the wonderful review. I like it a lot. xo
-
You're Welcome Rachelle!
Comment from Cindy Warren
It's true. If you want to keep your job you have to BS a little. "I see" and "I hear you" are good ones. They don't mean "I agree with you." I'm sure hubby doesn't really like it, but if he told a client how dumb his idea was, he'd soon be unemployed. I'm assuming your friend doesn't have to work.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
|
It's true. If you want to keep your job you have to BS a little. "I see" and "I hear you" are good ones. They don't mean "I agree with you." I'm sure hubby doesn't really like it, but if he told a client how dumb his idea was, he'd soon be unemployed. I'm assuming your friend doesn't have to work.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
-
Nope. She is free and clear of any employment. QUITE the luxury!!
To her credit, she is NOT stingy with positive comments, but when she bestows them, you know they're honest. It's never lip service with her. I'd prefer that ANY day over someone who pretends to be so supportive and nice but then, when your back is turned, they have a different comment to make. This girl you can trust to tell you the way things are.
Thanks for the terrific review. xo
Comment from Heather Knight
Like your friend, there are certain jobs I'd never be able to do. I'd never be able to be a salesperson, for example.
However, I can understand her husband's point of view too.
Thanks for sharing. Very interesting and thought-provoking.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
|
Like your friend, there are certain jobs I'd never be able to do. I'd never be able to be a salesperson, for example.
However, I can understand her husband's point of view too.
Thanks for sharing. Very interesting and thought-provoking.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
-
I can, too. It's a fine line, isn't it?
Thanks for the thought-provoking review. xo
Comment from Michele Harber
As always, my FSBFF, you took the prompt and ran with it. This was a very clever use of the It's Only Words prompt, and you told an interesting, well-organized, well-rhymed story. My only problem is that the meter is noticeably off but, otherwise, it was a very enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
|
As always, my FSBFF, you took the prompt and ran with it. This was a very clever use of the It's Only Words prompt, and you told an interesting, well-organized, well-rhymed story. My only problem is that the meter is noticeably off but, otherwise, it was a very enjoyable read.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
-
Do tell! Where is that happening? It's not like you not to expound on things of this nature! xo
-
Geez, I thought we could do this as 20 questions, but if you want me to just come out and tell you ...
Where it really hit me was in reading the second stanza which felt truncated after the first. Read the second line of the second stanza immediately after the second line of the first stanza to see what I mean. More than just syllable count, though, is phrasing, which helps affect the pace at which it?s read, i.e., ?plucky like me? gets read together without pauses.
In short (she says oxymoronically, after such a long answer), the first stanza, to me, read more like a limerick, and the second more like a nursery rhyme (think ?Mary had a little lamb?).
We both know 99% of the people on the site won?t notice that but, as I?ve told you before, I edit for the 1% who will. This is my gut instinct, but my instincts, when it comes to writing, are usually very accurate.
-
Yes. I see! (hahaha. Like what I did there? I'm being her husband and not telling you you're dumb...) JOKING!!! JOKING!!! I SWEAR I'M JOKING!!!
I actually DO see what you're saying. So I'm going to work on it and make them more rhythmetically simibbilar. Thank you. (honest) xo
-
Oh, and p.s., you do NOT need to tell me you're usually very accurate. I know this, and I already worship for it. So stop being dumb.
-
What happened to ?I?m being her husband and not telling you you?re dumb????!!!!?
I thought you?d be proud of the confidence I was showing. I was originally going to say ?I?m usually pretty accurate,? but I realized that showed all the confidence of a ?definite maybe.?
-
I totally am. I love teasing you because you have a good sense of humor, too.
I've now changed it, and would love your feedback. xo
-
It's much more gooderer. Ain't you glad I's editing your work?
There's just one line I would change to even out the rhythm. Where you say, "where words spoken aren't quite what they seem," you might do better to say, "where words said are not quite what they seem," to keep the already established rhythm of stressed and unstressed syllables.
-
Damn! I had that originally, then changed it. Grr.
Thank you! xo
-
Don?t worry. The same thing happened to me yesterday. I wound up changing a word in a poem back to one I?d used originally based on a reviewer?s comment. There are worse things that could happen - especially when the reviewer on whose behalf you?re making the change is me, right? (FYI, the correct answer to that is ?Right.?)
-
RIGHT!! (with exuberance!)
Comment from ShyWri
I'm sure the friend would never tell anyone they were "dumb," as that would just be rude. This delightful poem perhaps hows in rhyme the two sides of each of us as we pick our way through the world, trying to choose words that are both honest and respectful. Thank you for the poem.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
|
I'm sure the friend would never tell anyone they were "dumb," as that would just be rude. This delightful poem perhaps hows in rhyme the two sides of each of us as we pick our way through the world, trying to choose words that are both honest and respectful. Thank you for the poem.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
-
thank you for the respectful review.
