THE IMMORTAL
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Unwelcome Visitor"Sci-Fi/Dark Fantasy/Mystery/Romance
5 total reviews
Comment from royowen
It's true girl you have a fanrastic imagination, I would love to see into that fabulous mind of yours, and see the imagery, if it's like me, it doesn't actually dwell in the mind, more in the soul, it comes out on paper, or on my tongue, I can only give glory to God, as I guess can you. This is a really interesting episode, I thought the creature had Tara in its grasp, but obviously won't touch anything but humans. But the cat had to be Raphael, Tara's guardian angel! A wonderful angel, Raphael can't destroy the creature, but can give severe pain, well done Shana, wonderful episode, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
  |
It's true girl you have a fanrastic imagination, I would love to see into that fabulous mind of yours, and see the imagery, if it's like me, it doesn't actually dwell in the mind, more in the soul, it comes out on paper, or on my tongue, I can only give glory to God, as I guess can you. This is a really interesting episode, I thought the creature had Tara in its grasp, but obviously won't touch anything but humans. But the cat had to be Raphael, Tara's guardian angel! A wonderful angel, Raphael can't destroy the creature, but can give severe pain, well done Shana, wonderful episode, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 01-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
-
Thank you, Roy! :)
Yes, we do have quite the imagination. The things that run through my mind sometimes scares me. LOL!
But thanks for the awesome review my dear friend. The part where Buddy the cat turns into his natural form was my favorite to write. The Breedline doesn't know the cat is actually the Angel of Healing. He watches over the children in the Covenant.
Thanks again!
Always your fan,
Shana :)
-
That as a great touch indeed dear Shana, I somehow knew the cat was more than cat.
Comment from Sylvia Page
Scongrove,
I happened to pick this story up at random and found it very entertaining. Its imagery is almost very real and I felt myself in the sidelines enjoying the suspense. Look forward to reading more.
Please check these out...
she will be become the thing that has cursed her. // she will become the thing that has cursed her.
she discovers the (Angel) Roman is searching for(,) is in love with him as well.
Her curiosity got the best of her. //Her curiosity got the better of her (Idiom)
She could still feel his lips at her throat. // She could still feel his lips on her throat.
But I promise, we are doing everything we can to give Brandon and the other's its killed justice," Tessa simply said. //But I promise, we are doing everything we can to give Brandon and the others it killed, justice," Tessa simply said.
The black-winged angel flashed a wicked smile, revealing two sharp teeth, pointed like a canines. // The black-winged angel flashed a wicked smile, revealing two sharp teeth, pointed like a canine's.
Breedline species can shift into their wolf (form) at will.
The Breedline only get their wolf (form or image) if they are born with an identical twin.
All males change into their wolf (form) at the age of eighteen.
Her alpha wolf (form or image) has twice the strength, speed, and size of any Breedline.
During her first change into her Breedline wolf (image or form),
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
 |
Scongrove,
I happened to pick this story up at random and found it very entertaining. Its imagery is almost very real and I felt myself in the sidelines enjoying the suspense. Look forward to reading more.
Please check these out...
she will be become the thing that has cursed her. // she will become the thing that has cursed her.
she discovers the (Angel) Roman is searching for(,) is in love with him as well.
Her curiosity got the best of her. //Her curiosity got the better of her (Idiom)
She could still feel his lips at her throat. // She could still feel his lips on her throat.
But I promise, we are doing everything we can to give Brandon and the other's its killed justice," Tessa simply said. //But I promise, we are doing everything we can to give Brandon and the others it killed, justice," Tessa simply said.
The black-winged angel flashed a wicked smile, revealing two sharp teeth, pointed like a canines. // The black-winged angel flashed a wicked smile, revealing two sharp teeth, pointed like a canine's.
Breedline species can shift into their wolf (form) at will.
The Breedline only get their wolf (form or image) if they are born with an identical twin.
All males change into their wolf (form) at the age of eighteen.
Her alpha wolf (form or image) has twice the strength, speed, and size of any Breedline.
During her first change into her Breedline wolf (image or form),
Comment Written 30-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
-
Wow ... thank you, Sylvia! :)
It is so helpful when someone like you takes the time to help me out with good advice. You're a gem!
So glad you enjoyed this chapter. It was fun to write. My greatest reward is hearing I have entertained the reader.
Thanks again!
Big hugs,
Shana :)
-
My pleasure Shana
Comment from fm wright
Immensely enjoyed reading this chapter. The fact that the black cat was actually Raphael did take me by surprise. Also, did the notion that this immortal creature could penetrate into the fortress. I'm also not sure what Tara is, but I look forward to finding out. Anyway, it read very smoothly and I could find absolutely nothing wrong with it.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
|
Immensely enjoyed reading this chapter. The fact that the black cat was actually Raphael did take me by surprise. Also, did the notion that this immortal creature could penetrate into the fortress. I'm also not sure what Tara is, but I look forward to finding out. Anyway, it read very smoothly and I could find absolutely nothing wrong with it.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
-
Thank you, Faye! :)
The Angel of Healing seems to have something over the creature that broke into the Covenant. It seems he might have met his match.
Yes, as you well know now, Tara is not exactly human. You'll have to stay tuned to find out what she 'really' is.
I'm so happy you enjoyed. It's such a reward to hear good feedback.
Big hugs,
Shana :)
-
Thank you, I have really enjoyed reading each and every chapter!
Comment from Karen Luciana
Hi Shana,
I am thoroughly enjoying this story. I have many questions, which in my opinion means I have just read really great writing. You did a great job of giving (and withholding) just the right amount of information to create the kind of mystery that keeps the reader engaged. Good luck with all of your work!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
|
Hi Shana,
I am thoroughly enjoying this story. I have many questions, which in my opinion means I have just read really great writing. You did a great job of giving (and withholding) just the right amount of information to create the kind of mystery that keeps the reader engaged. Good luck with all of your work!
Comment Written 30-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
-
Wow ... thank you, Karen! :)
So glad my chapter was enjoyable for you to read. That is the greatest reward to me. I hope to hear from you again. More Breedline adventures to come!
Thanks again,
Shana :)
Comment from Mistydawn
You've got quite an imagination and a knack for making it all seem believable. I hope the black winged angel took care of the creature for good. It's very well-written, interesting, suspenseful start to finish. Great job as always.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
|
You've got quite an imagination and a knack for making it all seem believable. I hope the black winged angel took care of the creature for good. It's very well-written, interesting, suspenseful start to finish. Great job as always.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
-
Thank you, Mistydawn! :)
So glad you think the story sounds believable. Whoo-hoo! That is awesome to hear.
The Angel of Healing gave the creature a run for his money. I'm betting he does not come back to the Covenant.
Stay tuned for my Breedline adventures.
Thanks again!
Hugs,
Shana :)
