Lemons Are A Man's Best Friend
A casual hot tub erotic encounter.2 total reviews
Comment from Alex Rosel
This short piece fits the remit of The Lemon Was contest well :)
If this was mine, maybe I'd look to revise it to cut back on the various uses of the verb laugh. I'm sure most readers will get it that their laughing is uncontrollable without repeating it so many times in the narrative. Maybe use something like Barry struggled to catch his breath in place of laugh/laughing/laughed.
Good luck with the competition :)
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
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This short piece fits the remit of The Lemon Was contest well :)
If this was mine, maybe I'd look to revise it to cut back on the various uses of the verb laugh. I'm sure most readers will get it that their laughing is uncontrollable without repeating it so many times in the narrative. Maybe use something like Barry struggled to catch his breath in place of laugh/laughing/laughed.
Good luck with the competition :)
Comment Written 28-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
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Good comments. Thank you for the review.
Comment from Cindy Warren
Haha, that's not so far fetched. Ask anyone who has worked in an ER. Carrots, cucumbers and even rodents have been removed from places they don't belong. This gave me a giggle. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Haha, that's not so far fetched. Ask anyone who has worked in an ER. Carrots, cucumbers and even rodents have been removed from places they don't belong. This gave me a giggle. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Thank you for your comments and review.
