It's Not Fair(y)
sigh...18 total reviews
Comment from Amenian Aypotheeno
Oh you airy-headed fairy, fancing forgetting the fifty p, that can buy the world for a six year old! Shame on you, you dozy so and so, that kid will be scarred for life, think that the fairies don't love her and all the butterflies will run away from her in the garden! Well until tomorrow at least eh?? When you get in to the depths of life and world is a whirlwind, don't you just wish that one those James Bond wannabes had done it instead like good husbands and big brothers do? Shame on them and kick em into touch next time! :) Really like this write, it is almost like a day in the life of a modern family, and you can really step into the shoes of these people and close your eyes and be there... everyone can relate to Brianna and if only others were more understanding right? :)
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Oh you airy-headed fairy, fancing forgetting the fifty p, that can buy the world for a six year old! Shame on you, you dozy so and so, that kid will be scarred for life, think that the fairies don't love her and all the butterflies will run away from her in the garden! Well until tomorrow at least eh?? When you get in to the depths of life and world is a whirlwind, don't you just wish that one those James Bond wannabes had done it instead like good husbands and big brothers do? Shame on them and kick em into touch next time! :) Really like this write, it is almost like a day in the life of a modern family, and you can really step into the shoes of these people and close your eyes and be there... everyone can relate to Brianna and if only others were more understanding right? :)
Comment Written 24-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Hi Dale :)
Thank you so much for this fun and understanding review of my day... Oops, I meant, Brianna's day ;)
I really appreciate your 6 star rating too - very generous of you... perhaps the tooth fairy will leave that shiny golden star in exchange for a tooth!
Best wishes as always, Debra :) x
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Oh, Debra, I have so been there -- even played the 'fairy was late' card in having the child get themselves a drink or go to the bathroom as I grabbed the first bill that I could out of my wallet and dashed up the stairs to 'right the wrong'!! :) ;) My little Ben got a fiver for his tooth that day, but I just told him it must have been because the fairy felt bad about being so tardy!! ;) :) Ugh...the crazy things we fairies do, eh?! Thanx for sharing, ma'am, and thanx for the memory!! ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Oh, Debra, I have so been there -- even played the 'fairy was late' card in having the child get themselves a drink or go to the bathroom as I grabbed the first bill that I could out of my wallet and dashed up the stairs to 'right the wrong'!! :) ;) My little Ben got a fiver for his tooth that day, but I just told him it must have been because the fairy felt bad about being so tardy!! ;) :) Ugh...the crazy things we fairies do, eh?! Thanx for sharing, ma'am, and thanx for the memory!! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 24-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Hi Yvette :) Thank you for your empathetic feedback :)
The tooth fairy visited last night and left a note to say that she was sorry about the delay in collecting Katie's tooth, but she had been ill the night before!
Perhaps it's time I told her the truth about the Tooth Fairy, our House Fairy (Frances) and Father Christmas... she starts high school in September. I'm not ready for my little girl to grow up yet :(
Best wishes as always, Debra x
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You are too funny, Lady D!! ;) ;) Take care over there! :)
Comment from robyn corum
Debra,
Yeah. It happens. I'd like to see a single family that was perfect in the tooth fairy regard. I haven't met one, anyway. *smile* But children forgive and forget, thankfully! Thanks!
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Debra,
Yeah. It happens. I'd like to see a single family that was perfect in the tooth fairy regard. I haven't met one, anyway. *smile* But children forgive and forget, thankfully! Thanks!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Thank you, Robyn :)
Best wishes, Debra
Comment from Alex Rosel
I like this a lot. It's a great piece of flash fiction. Even though your narrative is detailed in describing the events, it still allows space for the reader to portray their own take :)
Perhaps the one thing that I'm not sure of is the asides in parentheses. Personally, I think these sentiments would have more impact if they were incorporated into the narrative as directly emanating from your protagonist. As they are, it appears these are the thoughts of the narrator, and as such, your reader's attention may be subliminally split between two people, your protagonist and the narrator. It's a picky point, and just my personal preference. But that aside, it's a very effective piece :)
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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I like this a lot. It's a great piece of flash fiction. Even though your narrative is detailed in describing the events, it still allows space for the reader to portray their own take :)
Perhaps the one thing that I'm not sure of is the asides in parentheses. Personally, I think these sentiments would have more impact if they were incorporated into the narrative as directly emanating from your protagonist. As they are, it appears these are the thoughts of the narrator, and as such, your reader's attention may be subliminally split between two people, your protagonist and the narrator. It's a picky point, and just my personal preference. But that aside, it's a very effective piece :)
Comment Written 24-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Hi Alex :)
Thank you for your helpful feedback. It's good to get other people's perspective and opinion. Taking a step back and reading my piece today, I see what you mean about the parentheses being mildly confusing to the reader. I appreciate you bringing that to my attention and I'll edit appropriately.
Kindest regards, Debra :)
Comment from BeasPeas
No it's not fair. We do have very busy days and yes the tooth fairy can forget with so much else to do. Your story is written well and I enjoyed reading it. Gotta take some time for ourselves. Marilyn
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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No it's not fair. We do have very busy days and yes the tooth fairy can forget with so much else to do. Your story is written well and I enjoyed reading it. Gotta take some time for ourselves. Marilyn
Comment Written 24-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Thank you so much for your lovely feedback, Marilyn.
I appreciate it :) Best wishes, Debra
Comment from Ulla
Hi Debra, even mothers are humans but, of course, there are situations when we're not allowed to be that. I'm sure the little girl got over it before you did. Great little story. All best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Hi Debra, even mothers are humans but, of course, there are situations when we're not allowed to be that. I'm sure the little girl got over it before you did. Great little story. All best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Thank you so much, Ulla, I appreciate your feedback :)
Best wishes, Debra
Comment from Diana L Crawford
Awesome tribute to Mothers! And some even have to somehow throw a full-time job into the mix. I grew up with a mom who did just that and step-dad would sit in recliner after getting home waiting for his dinner to be served. So in turn, I thought that was just the way it was for women and repeated in the beginnings of my own marriage and birth of children until it wore me down to the point of ruining my relationship. After that, my kids definitely had chores and the floor got swept once a week instead of every other day. Freeing up the time allowed me to spend more time with my children and enjoy their youth and then remembering the tooth fairy job wasn't something overlooked. Today my son is a bachelor and doing just fine with his own laundry LoL! And my daughter with a supportive husband who shares the load! I love you brought up this issue as a reminder that life is about living, not just working! xoxo
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Awesome tribute to Mothers! And some even have to somehow throw a full-time job into the mix. I grew up with a mom who did just that and step-dad would sit in recliner after getting home waiting for his dinner to be served. So in turn, I thought that was just the way it was for women and repeated in the beginnings of my own marriage and birth of children until it wore me down to the point of ruining my relationship. After that, my kids definitely had chores and the floor got swept once a week instead of every other day. Freeing up the time allowed me to spend more time with my children and enjoy their youth and then remembering the tooth fairy job wasn't something overlooked. Today my son is a bachelor and doing just fine with his own laundry LoL! And my daughter with a supportive husband who shares the load! I love you brought up this issue as a reminder that life is about living, not just working! xoxo
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Hi Diana :) Thank you so much for your kind and empathetic review. I will certainly take on board getting the kids to help with chores. If each of us do our bit, then we all get to spend more fun time together too. Best wishes, Debra :)
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You are so welcome! You can only benefit from engaging their help! xoxo
Comment from Rikki66
If I were a cad I would say that Brianna is a woman primed for an affair, she is stressed out at home and ignored by her husband. Her husband could do more to help her before he loses her, all it takes is one understanding shoulder.
Rikki:)xo
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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If I were a cad I would say that Brianna is a woman primed for an affair, she is stressed out at home and ignored by her husband. Her husband could do more to help her before he loses her, all it takes is one understanding shoulder.
Rikki:)xo
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Hi Rikki, Brianna is certainly one taken for granted lady. Thank you for your insightful feedback. Kindest regards, Debra :)
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You are welcome.
Rikki:)xo
Comment from Heather Knight
Oops! Am I right in suspecting this is autobiographical? There are too many similarities to real life to ignore...
So how did you solve the tooth fairy situation? That must have been a tough one...
Thanks for sharing. I love your story.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Oops! Am I right in suspecting this is autobiographical? There are too many similarities to real life to ignore...
So how did you solve the tooth fairy situation? That must have been a tough one...
Thanks for sharing. I love your story.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Hi Maria :)
Thank you again for your lovely feedback and generous 6* rating! Best wishes as always, Debra x
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I forgot to tell you I love the title.
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Aw, thanks! Sometimes finding the right title is the hardest part LOL x
Comment from Sally Law
I did the same thing. I sent my boys a late notice with a quarter saying the tooth fairy had been busy with little boys and girls losing their teeth. It worked and I was saved. I'll give you that free with today's review.
This was super sweet and telling of your busy life!
All my best, dear Debra,
Sal xo
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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I did the same thing. I sent my boys a late notice with a quarter saying the tooth fairy had been busy with little boys and girls losing their teeth. It worked and I was saved. I'll give you that free with today's review.
This was super sweet and telling of your busy life!
All my best, dear Debra,
Sal xo
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Hi Sal :)
Thanks for your lovely empathetic feedback, and for the tip to bail me out tonight! I appreciate both :)
Sending love and best wishes, Debra x
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:+))
