Old Age
Hill fears of getting old.29 total reviews
Comment from Sylvia Page
Raul, Five for a canine is not old. He is in his prime of life, calculated in human years, he is just thirty-five years. We have a cat living with us for twenty-three years and has just had a stroke. Just allow him to exercise and encourage him to be active. Very well written.
Best wishes
Sylvia
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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Raul, Five for a canine is not old. He is in his prime of life, calculated in human years, he is just thirty-five years. We have a cat living with us for twenty-three years and has just had a stroke. Just allow him to exercise and encourage him to be active. Very well written.
Best wishes
Sylvia
Comment Written 02-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story!
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You are welcome
Comment from Brenda Henderson
Excellent sentiment. Fear of getting old in the future only serves to rob us of today. We should all focus more on living in the now. This can be especially challenging when we're uncertain of what lies ahead. Thank you for this reminder. Very good.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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Excellent sentiment. Fear of getting old in the future only serves to rob us of today. We should all focus more on living in the now. This can be especially challenging when we're uncertain of what lies ahead. Thank you for this reminder. Very good.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story and you're welcome!
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You're welcome too!
Comment from JudyE
Good for Hill. I hope he overcomes his fears because otherwise, at 5, he could be a long time worrying about old age. This is a worthy flash fiction entry. Good luck.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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Good for Hill. I hope he overcomes his fears because otherwise, at 5, he could be a long time worrying about old age. This is a worthy flash fiction entry. Good luck.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story!
Comment from Darlene Franklin
Age is just a number. Agreed! It would have to be an extraordinary 5 year old to worry about age. though. I could see it seven, maybe (there I am, worrying about numbers!) unless this about an actual converstion. You're right to make it a younger child - most teenagers think they'll live forever!
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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Age is just a number. Agreed! It would have to be an extraordinary 5 year old to worry about age. though. I could see it seven, maybe (there I am, worrying about numbers!) unless this about an actual converstion. You're right to make it a younger child - most teenagers think they'll live forever!
Comment Written 02-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story!
Comment from Elizabeth Johnson1
I like this poem. I think everyone at any age has thought and feared getting older. But fear is a waste of time for sure! We must live each day like it's our last!
Thank you for sharing. Nicely done
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
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I like this poem. I think everyone at any age has thought and feared getting older. But fear is a waste of time for sure! We must live each day like it's our last!
Thank you for sharing. Nicely done
Comment Written 28-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
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Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story!
Comment from Yuna Akil
Wow! This is an entire chapter in merely 75 words! Good job at capturing so much with so little!
I know you must find exactly five words, but there's some adjusts I would make to the prose. I would delete the first "to be" verbs you use. I usually try to delete them because they're very passive and active verbs are much richer. I only use is or was when I'm defining something.
For example - Hill is scared of being old > Being old scares Hill.
There are sometimes when auxiliary verbs are also better deleted - He keeps telling himself that age is just a number >He tells himself that age is just a number.
Some verbs don't need preposition - Hill figures out that they are right > Hill figures that they are right > (or better yet) Hill agrees they must be right.
I think this a great flash-fiction and you've decently captured the emotion, essence, and meaning of the story; and still made it narrative.
Sincerely,
Yuna.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
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Wow! This is an entire chapter in merely 75 words! Good job at capturing so much with so little!
I know you must find exactly five words, but there's some adjusts I would make to the prose. I would delete the first "to be" verbs you use. I usually try to delete them because they're very passive and active verbs are much richer. I only use is or was when I'm defining something.
For example - Hill is scared of being old > Being old scares Hill.
There are sometimes when auxiliary verbs are also better deleted - He keeps telling himself that age is just a number >He tells himself that age is just a number.
Some verbs don't need preposition - Hill figures out that they are right > Hill figures that they are right > (or better yet) Hill agrees they must be right.
I think this a great flash-fiction and you've decently captured the emotion, essence, and meaning of the story; and still made it narrative.
Sincerely,
Yuna.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
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Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story! I will follow your advise. Thank you!
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Couldn't do it, because it became too short. Thanks, anyway!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This story promotes a message - age is only a number, live life today; Hill was taught the lesson and today he lives his life, there is no fear of being old; enjoyed the read, well said, well done. Write-Inspire-Change --DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
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This story promotes a message - age is only a number, live life today; Hill was taught the lesson and today he lives his life, there is no fear of being old; enjoyed the read, well said, well done. Write-Inspire-Change --DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 28-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
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Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story!
Comment from country ranch writer
Old age sneaks in on us when we least expect it and it not welcome one bit. We live each day as it comes and hope for the best for the family and friends to live and make wonderful memories!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Old age sneaks in on us when we least expect it and it not welcome one bit. We live each day as it comes and hope for the best for the family and friends to live and make wonderful memories!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story!
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Smiles
Comment from Alex Rosel
This is an unusual entry for the Flash Fiction Contest, and that make it stand out for me :)
I'm not sure that a five-year-old's logical reasoning would be developed enough to make them likely to worry about getting old -- at least not without some narrative explaining why they have that specific worry -- so, if this was mine, I'd make Hill older.
Good luck with the competition :)
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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This is an unusual entry for the Flash Fiction Contest, and that make it stand out for me :)
I'm not sure that a five-year-old's logical reasoning would be developed enough to make them likely to worry about getting old -- at least not without some narrative explaining why they have that specific worry -- so, if this was mine, I'd make Hill older.
Good luck with the competition :)
Comment Written 26-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story!
Comment from Bill Pinder
Great message in this flash fiction writing about the life of a dog. That is a message that is very true for all of us. We are meant to live our lives as fully as possible, but life is tough. Thanks for this great reminder that is written in a creative way.
Bill
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Great message in this flash fiction writing about the life of a dog. That is a message that is very true for all of us. We are meant to live our lives as fully as possible, but life is tough. Thanks for this great reminder that is written in a creative way.
Bill
Comment Written 26-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story!
