On Cedar Creek
A simplistic, yet sad love story53 total reviews
Comment from Hitcher
What might have been and what should have been but for destinies cruel blow. Some people unfortunately, are destined to walk love's broken path, the one that is filled with tears.
BUT... you know what they say, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all : )) Nice!
  |
What might have been and what should have been but for destinies cruel blow. Some people unfortunately, are destined to walk love's broken path, the one that is filled with tears.
BUT... you know what they say, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all : )) Nice!
Comment Written 20-Jun-2019
Comment from Aussie
A well written love story that has a message and a definite rhythm almost jaunty that keep the reader riding the lines to perfection. Well done friend.
|
A well written love story that has a message and a definite rhythm almost jaunty that keep the reader riding the lines to perfection. Well done friend.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2019
Comment from LisaMay
The simple sincerity of your poem is very appealing. When you met your future wife i think you swelled with more that just pride. The sexuality is restrained but present (She filled my heart, my home and bed.) The poem is a beautiful portrayal of the 'wholeness' of true love.
Perhaps you could add a capital 'C' to the word 'Creek' in 1st line and 2nd-last line in your poem.
|
The simple sincerity of your poem is very appealing. When you met your future wife i think you swelled with more that just pride. The sexuality is restrained but present (She filled my heart, my home and bed.) The poem is a beautiful portrayal of the 'wholeness' of true love.
Perhaps you could add a capital 'C' to the word 'Creek' in 1st line and 2nd-last line in your poem.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
JayBird, so beautiful! No artwork or photo was needed. Loved the two-line stanzas and the excellent rhyme. Most of all, I fell in love with the love story within the poem. 'On Cedar Creek' is a great title for this wonderful creation. I appreciate the larger font size. Thank you for your author notes.
Again, a beautiful love story within a poem :)
Gale
|
JayBird, so beautiful! No artwork or photo was needed. Loved the two-line stanzas and the excellent rhyme. Most of all, I fell in love with the love story within the poem. 'On Cedar Creek' is a great title for this wonderful creation. I appreciate the larger font size. Thank you for your author notes.
Again, a beautiful love story within a poem :)
Gale
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
Comment from flylikeaneagle
jaybird: what a nice flashback of your romantic
encounter with your bride. Maybe, you can walk
back there and take photos. Treasure your times.
Glad she filled your bed and heart. flylikeaneagle
|
jaybird: what a nice flashback of your romantic
encounter with your bride. Maybe, you can walk
back there and take photos. Treasure your times.
Glad she filled your bed and heart. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
Comment from royowen
Yes, I think we would all like to taste youth again, I think we would be more circumspect about it, treat it more with respect than we once did. A beautifully written wistfully reflective of happy times when love was strong, and the body too. well done written in articulate rhyming quatrains, blessings Roy
|
Yes, I think we would all like to taste youth again, I think we would be more circumspect about it, treat it more with respect than we once did. A beautifully written wistfully reflective of happy times when love was strong, and the body too. well done written in articulate rhyming quatrains, blessings Roy
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
Comment from victor 66
True, a love story is in your poem, but I believe it is a poem and a story that we can all, are most of us at least can relate to. I believe those memories described in your work makes getting older not just bearable but worthwhile. A gentle kiss remembered from 60 years past gives you a breath of fresh air and puts a smile on your face. I very much enjoyed your poem. Best wishes.
|
True, a love story is in your poem, but I believe it is a poem and a story that we can all, are most of us at least can relate to. I believe those memories described in your work makes getting older not just bearable but worthwhile. A gentle kiss remembered from 60 years past gives you a breath of fresh air and puts a smile on your face. I very much enjoyed your poem. Best wishes.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
Comment from patcelaw
Often in life when we lose the love of our life, we want to return to the place and time we first met. This is a great poem. Thanks for sharing.
Patricia
|
Often in life when we lose the love of our life, we want to return to the place and time we first met. This is a great poem. Thanks for sharing.
Patricia
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Your rhyming is so lilting. It is almost as though... if I had a conversation with you I would expect it to rhyme. I love your poetry. It always has a clear message as this silent plea to be with your loved one again, does.
|
Your rhyming is so lilting. It is almost as though... if I had a conversation with you I would expect it to rhyme. I love your poetry. It always has a clear message as this silent plea to be with your loved one again, does.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, this is another beautifully rendered write by this gifted poet - it misses in perfect rhyming rhythm for me, but that in no way detracts from its plaintive beauty...
|
In my opinion, this is another beautifully rendered write by this gifted poet - it misses in perfect rhyming rhythm for me, but that in no way detracts from its plaintive beauty...
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
