Reviews from

Alliterally Zany Nursense

Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "See Spot Diappear"
Humor/Oddball

3 total reviews 
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This has many examples of juxtaposition. You've entertained the reader with your gift of wordplay. I also like your gift of neologism. Shakespeare encouraged it. You create an amusing image also. Well done.

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
    Thank you very much I really appreciate your warm comments about this experimental poem. I was not overly pleased with the finished product here but I added it as best as I could and the main reason that I posted was to show the carburetion between my coworker Mike Matthews and I. I really appreciate your warm comments on this and plan on doing more collaboration with mr. Matthews in the future as will be shown in future work. Thanks again and blessings, Darren
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That's some odd medication (and expensive doctor visit!). I remember "See Spot run!" books. And I liked all the fun alliteration and inventive seeing and not seeing you put into this fanciful poem.

Suggest capitalizing Spot, when it's name such as:
"I have not seen my dog spot since" (I have not seen my dog, Spot, since)

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2019
    Fellow writer thanks so much for your comments on this goofy one. I like the zaniness but I kind of posted it quick without editing it a little bit anyway I co-wrote it with Mike Matthews so I wanted to post it on Facebook so that he would also get the credit. He's becoming a significant person in my writing history. Thanks again for the consistent comments and the corrections you're awesome. Blessings, brother Badger, Darren
Comment from irishauthorme
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow. I had to slow down and read this a few times and still cannot grasp the meaning behind the lines, maybe I am too far off in generation to understand the message you are trying to put forward. Couple this with my lack of sleep, woke up and could not go back to sleep, got up at 3:30 this morning, so am a little fuzzy.
I get that someone went through a phase of dis-association from them selves and then regained control of their mind, which I relegate to a common idiosyncrasy know as day dreaming, a failure of mine.
look forward to more of your writing, I don't get on FS very often so text me when you post.
Love and Miss
Dad-

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2019
    I wish you would read The Greatest Gift, it is your Father's Day Gift