Reviews from

still condemned.

a trinet poem

5 total reviews 
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like the words a lot. They brought to mind what someone new to a country -- or different from its indigenous people -- would be feeling. But then the artwork looks like a frightened, psychedelic turkey, so that kind of took away from your excellent words for me. Still, I wish you luck with the contest. xo

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 18-Jun-2019
    Ha ha, brutal. I write of the refugees coming to America for safety and get thrown in cages. There must be a more compassionate avenue.
    Or else sandblast the words of Lady Liberty, who indeed invites them in. Maybe they could sue for false advertising. sigh.
    Yeah, the artwork...it is supposed to be a kid. Who knew there would be a need for 'kids in cages' on fan art? Apparently there is now.
    I thank you for the generous review and the manner in which it was intended...sire. Cheers.
reply by Rachelle Allen on 18-Jun-2019
    Thank you for having a sense of humor about the art. I was a little reticent to mention it, but then I decided if we're on here, we must want honesty. (though I hope you were kidding about the 'brutal' nature of my honesty. I wouldn't ever want to be that.)
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2019
    Seriously I prefer the honest reviews, you can't really learn anything from 6 stars eh? Except how awesome you are and we already know that. Please be honest always. Ha ha the other day a trump supporter got all in my face about how great he is doing,,,argh. I thanked her nicely and gave her a reviewer nomination, she was like...WHAA?! I keep them just for that. We're cool. j
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2019
    Seriously I prefer the honest reviews, you can't really learn anything from 6 stars eh? Except how awesome you are and we already know that. Please be honest always. Ha ha the other day a trump supporter got all in my face about how great he is doing,,,argh. I thanked her nicely and gave her a reviewer nomination, she was like...WHAA?! I keep them just for that. We're cool. j
reply by Rachelle Allen on 18-Jun-2019
    Yes, the redundancy of those infusions of awesomeness! We all despise them to our core.

    Glad we're cool, you little faux nominator, you!! xo
Comment from Beri Bee
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love this! The lines are true lines, which really matters to me. And, the lines you've written are also quite true. Deeply sad... shameful... important to say. Thank you!

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 18-Jun-2019
    Thanks for your insightful review Beri Bee. How did America go from such a compassionate nation, welcoming those less fortunate, to putting them in cages? There must be a better solution. Seems the heart of America has grown cold....for now. Cheers.
reply by Beri Bee on 18-Jun-2019
    It IS a nightmare! How do we not see?
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This meets the contest requirements as stated nicely (generally this form requires three stanzas but I guess the site is making their own version up for this one). Your word choices are strong and evoke both imagery and visceral emotion. Good luck in the voting and thank you for sharing it.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
    Welcome back and thanks for the insightful review. I could have written ten more stanzas on this subject, easily, cheers.
Comment from Cybertron1986
Excellent
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A very powerful message here. I can empathize with the struggle and pain the speaker expresses. It's engaging and relative to the signs of the times. Beautiful in presentation and in expression. It hits all the right emotional notes in the reader. Well done.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
    Thanks for your generous review. It might be time to sandblast the words of Lady Liberty because her promise is no longer true. Cheers.
Comment from Eve Vasa
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi, you have followed this form very well. Does Zion need a cap? (author notes) I liked the poem but the meaning eluded me. I guess anyone that isn't free can feel frightened and unwelcomed. Best of luck in the competition and thanks for sharing your poem. Eve.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
    Thanks for your review Eve and welcome to fanstory. I am speaking about the refugees that come to America seeking a better life, perhaps believing the words of Lady Liberty, that say all are welcome here, regardless. The children being separated from parents and treated so badly does not reflect well on America and her compassionate promise the world believed.
    I hope this helps.
    I look forward to reading some poems by you. Cheers.
reply by Eve Vasa on 16-Jun-2019
    yes, thank you for letting me know that, I understand the poem in the light of that. It sounds like a very sad reality for those people. I hope it gets better.